what's wrong with me?! can someone help?

tiffanymariebrock
tiffanymariebrock Posts: 47
edited October 6 in Motivation and Support
So I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. We have been living together for 3. Can someone please explain why he hasn't proposed to me yet?! I don't get it! We are buying a house together and I know we will be together forever, but I just don't understand what he's waiting for. I'm becoming depressed, thinking that it might be something he will never do. Someone please tell me you know someone (or are someone) going through the same thing. I need some support. It's hurting my ability to lose weight cause all I want to do right now is eat to feel better. Bad habit I know! But I'm aware of it and I am stopping myself from eating all the left over Christmas candy. urg! Any words of comfort would be nice. Thanks!
~tiffany

Replies

  • megganjana
    megganjana Posts: 61 Member
    Maybe he's just waiting for the right time, just keep excersising and love yourself. When he's ready he'll do it. :) There's nothing wrong with you, a lot of times the man is just overthinking at and doesn't know when, how, or where to even start proposing. Keep your head up!
  • krazyforyou
    krazyforyou Posts: 1,428 Member
    My mother used to tell me " they wont buy the cow if the milk is free " . And Mama was always right.
  • ymhand
    ymhand Posts: 188
    He might be the person you want to talk to about it. Be straight forward and honest with him.
  • gdparks1978
    gdparks1978 Posts: 2 Member
    It took my wife and I 6 years to realize we were meant to be together. Call us dumb, but we both grew and matured a lot independently before we finally put two and two together. She moved to another state and it was like a piece of me left with her. That is when I knew. We have been married four years and have two beautiful children.
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
    I think that the BEST person to ask this question to.... is him!
  • RobinLoren
    RobinLoren Posts: 34
    It sounds like you are both very serious about each other and love each other very much, If he has not proposed, it has nothing to do with you. He would not be buying a house with you if he did not feel the same way. Some people do not believe in marraige or like to take it slow when it comes to the subject. Maybe he is scared to ask or has something special in mind that he is waiting for. If it really bothers you, maybe you could bring up the subject as though it just crossed your mind. Do not let this way too heavy on your mind or impact your weight loss. Your weight loss should be for yourself, to make you feel better and healthier. He will come around and maybe he is waiting until more money comes in or you are all settled. You never know what he is thinking. It is best not to worry about it as long as you are in love and happy. He obviously intends to be with you for a long time.
  • forest0spirit555
    forest0spirit555 Posts: 164 Member
    I don't think anyone here on MFP will really be able to have clairvoyance into your partners thought process. I'd talk to him about this...
  • learningtolove
    learningtolove Posts: 288 Member
    have you guys discussed engagement/ marriage before. Maybe he thinks your fine with being happily unmarried.
  • Improvised
    Improvised Posts: 925 Member
    My mother used to tell me " they wont buy the cow if the milk is free " . And Mama was always right.

    Your Mama was right.
  • amuchison
    amuchison Posts: 274 Member
    First of all have u talked to him about the situation? how does he feel about marriage these r things u should know about where both of u stand especially having been together for 6 years...Also he has his cake and is eating it too..why should he Marry u he has all the perks right now why sign the papers u can't give him everything without any commitment...;)
  • Trishaf66
    Trishaf66 Posts: 27 Member
    I was with my husband 6.5 years before we actually got married and I was pregnant with our 3rd child on our wedding day! It just wasn't a priority for him I told him I wanted to get married and he said ok will you marry me so we went and got a ring together and I had to do everything else or it never would have happened. Just let him know how you feel.
  • tiffanymariebrock
    tiffanymariebrock Posts: 47
    It's just really hard to say "hey why haven't you asked me yet?" I just needed to vent cause it's so frustrating sometimes! I'm trying to be understanding. I was just wanted to know that I'm not the only one going through this.
  • dissonancesquared
    dissonancesquared Posts: 17
    if you're buying a house together i highly doubt he is unsatisfied with your relationship. perhaps he is simply not interested in marriage? you should definitely talk to him about his thoughts on marriage in general... and if you're feeling a little insecure its ok to ask for a bit of reassurance...
  • Pattinan
    Pattinan Posts: 42 Member
    Toss the candy!!! I know it is hard. I had to toss an entire cheesecake and a plate of lovely Chrisstmas cookies. Today I will give away my lucsious bottle of Rum eggnog. Better to remove the temptations! I have no fabulous relationship advise..sorry there.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    If you've been together that long can't you talk to him about it? Tell him you'd like be married and ask for his thoughts. I know a few couples that have been together for decades without marrying. Some live together and some don't. But if it's something you want then bring up the subject.
  • tiffanymariebrock
    tiffanymariebrock Posts: 47
    Thank you! This is exactly what i needed to hear!!!!
  • wannabesexymama
    wannabesexymama Posts: 367 Member
    Nothing wrong with you! Me and my husband had the same issue if you havent talked to him he may not know how much you ae really wanting to be married to him he may think your happy the way it is!!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    My mother used to tell me " they wont buy the cow if the milk is free " . And Mama was always right.

    So you mother thought you were a cow and you should sell yourself?? Nice.
  • MochaBlues
    MochaBlues Posts: 197 Member
    I don't mean to be so harsh, but why should he marry you? He's already reaping most of the benefits of marriage already. IF marriage is your focus, (and while it may be not his focus ) than you need to have a serious discussion with him about that, and by all means...PLEASE don't buy a house when things are as uncertain as they are right now.

    Have the discussion with him, and then act for what it is, 6 years is more than enough time to determine whether or not you'd want to marry someone.

    You don't want to be in a situation where you are resenting all the years you've spent in the relationship, secretly wishing that he'd change his mind and want to marry you. By all means.. "Don't waste the pretty" :flowerforyou:

    Best of luck to you.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    It may be weird or uncomfortable, but you gotta do it, especially if it's making you feel like there's something wrong in the relationship. Having someone to share your life with means sharing the good stuff and the bad stuff!

    Maybe he's just oblivious and is happy with the status quo and figures since you haven't brought it up, you're feeling the same way. I hate to generalize but in my experience, men tend to be a lot less intuitive than women and we forget that they don't think like we do. Plus they're not raised with the whole happily ever after/dream wedding thing... Please understand, I'm not saying men are unromantic - that's not it at all - most of them just think about it differently than most of us women do.

    Or maybe he comes from a broken home like my hubby and I do and thinks maybe getting married will put a strain on the relationship because his folks couldn't work it out. Some people take strong impressions from their pasts and what they've observed in others' lives.

    Like many of us have said, there's no way to know until YOU TALK TO HIM. Get it?
  • carrie_eggo
    carrie_eggo Posts: 1,396 Member
    My mother used to tell me " they wont buy the cow if the milk is free " . And Mama was always right.

    Why buy the pig when all you want is a little sausage?
  • crzyone
    crzyone Posts: 872 Member
    In this day and age, many people don't see much of a need to get married anymore when they live together, have babies, buy houses, and live as man and wife without the benefits of a marriage license. Personally, if I were going to do all of those things, I would never think about marriage either.....it would make a break up or a death so much easier...lot's less paperwork to deal with......

    Ask him. Only he can answer for himself...but you are already living as though married, so what would be the point??????
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