Delete or not, that is the question??? No hard feelings
pghsteelerfan
Posts: 132 Member
The new year is almost upon us, and i've been thinking of surrounding myself with very supportive people...you know, the ones who will give advice, kick in the butt when needed or just always have something positive to say...ones who give support back!! Altho i know everyone cant post something on a daily basis or even a comment here n there....but i have some whom seem to rarely give a comment....so i've been thinking of cleaning up the old friend list...and adding more supportive posters to give me encouragement to keep striving towards my long awaited goals...as i like to give and cheer others on their journey as well.... I dont want to eliminate anyone, yet whats the point in remaining on those lists if there isnt any communication happening anyways??? Sooooo... i guess my question is just that...delete?? or dont delete??? Give them a chance .... or say goodbye and wish them well on their journeys.... After all if i am deleting them, they must realize the communication has been non-existent in the first place right? What do u think?
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Replies
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Totally agree. The point of adding friends is for support. If I don't see a person being consistent I say hi on their page if they haven't signed on within a couple weeks and we don't talk regularly I delete them.0
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Personally, I delete if they are inactive for a month or more. I've deleted a few here and there for being annoying or supporting unhealthy habits, too. It's your friends list and you can delete if you want to! :-)0
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I like to have people who will comment even if it's a simple good job. Even though your "friends" are complete strangers having someone give you a little pat on the back for sticking to your diet is very motivating.0
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I like to have people who will comment even if it's a simple good job. Even though your "friends" are complete strangers having someone give you a little pat on the back for sticking to your diet is very motivating.
You're right, it's very encouraging...and a little encouragement sure goes a long way.0 -
I tend to delete people who don't seem committed or spend weeks upon weeks of not logging.0
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Thanks for your opinions...makes my decision easier.... Since i like giving support this gives me strength, but getting support back, gives me even more....and some appear to keep an inner circle and never comment to you even tho u always give them a good job....so...its definitely gonna be a delete key for some...I want to reach my goal this 2012...this is the closest i ever have come...and i want positivity surrounding me as i cross that ticker tape!!!0
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You gotta be selfish! :-) This is your journey and you need people to support you when you can't give it to yourself otherwise you wouldn't be here in the first place. At least that is what I feel as far as deleting. As silly as it sounds I'm "needy" for the support because I'm so hard on myself that I need that positive insight. I tend to delete those that are not only not active or supportive but super negative. I can't handle that kind of toxicity in people outside of mfp and won't tolerate it so I sure as all out won't tolerate it here.
I'm also lookin to update my list. Tryin to keep my friends list small because Im on mfp 99% of the time on my phone so it can get tedious and is why I'm never on the message boards.0 -
I clean up my list every month or so. I delete everybody who hasn't logged in for more than 10 days and every few months I delete the people whom I never see post anything. If you post stuff but don't comment on much of my stuff I usually keep them around but if you never post then there is no point. They don't motivate me and I can't motivate them.
I don't think there's anything wrong with deleting people.0 -
I like to have people who will comment even if it's a simple good job. Even though your "friends" are complete strangers having someone give you a little pat on the back for sticking to your diet is very motivating.
You're right, it's very encouraging...and a little encouragement sure goes a long way.
It sure does! I am new on here and am really pleased that the support level is so high, I hope I will be able to add my support more as I get the hang of it!0 -
I agree with the others - I clean up my friends list every few months to weed out the 'one-way streets'. I try to post comments regularly on my friends posts, which takes some time each day, and I get annoyed when it is never reciprocated. I figure if they are not commenting on my posts, they won't even notice they've been deleted, because my posts must not be making much of an impact
I have made some great virtual friends on here who are very supportive and encouraging, and I'd much rather invest my time on them. 0 -
Thanks for the input...i started my delete button today...and altho i must admit i feel some guilt... ( the old me who always is looking for approval )....i have added some new MFPer's and already have noticed the support pouring thru my screen...and it has given me some renewed strength...I gather lots of courage thru these posts..and its the first time something like this has given me the push to go after my dreams...so I'm like a kid in a candy store...i cant get enuff!!!0
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In my opinion, I say do not delete. I tend to go back (maybe not always post, or not post at all) and look at how they are doing. No harm in having people there in your friends list. But in the end, it is your decision, but I think it will be nice to leave people because you may have people like me who are more on the quiet side and like to look at how people are doing.. that may be their own motivation.0
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The only folks I delete are negative people, and those who have clearly fallen off the wagon. If people can't comment I don't particularly mind. Sometimes there just isn't anything to say.0
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Thanks for giving me another perspective..0
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Great topic. This is great to know. I am new to posting on the boards.0
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I just cleaned out my friends list of all the duds.
I cleaned out all the attention starved teens with active eating disorders who could give a damn too.
Clean it out and get with the peeps who have the same goals as you!
Makes life a lot easier.
Hugs!0 -
I have deleted several people who never comment on anything I post and the ones that haven't logged in a week or more, This a long journey for most of us and I think that we need suppotive people to be in our corner! I would love to have another friend to help along the way so I will send you a friend request, don't feel guilty at all about hitting that little delete button!0
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To tell u the truth i usually only have ten or less friends at a time. I like to e supportive to them as well, and find i cant do that with a bunch of people i never hear from. Also all my friends are on almost everyday.... it's nice
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I DO THE SAME THING ON A WEEKLY BASIS!!!! THIS IS NOT FACEBOOK, WE DONT NEED FRIENDS JUST TO HAVE FRIENDS. WE ADD FRIENDS ON HERE IN ORDER TO MOTIVATE EACH OTHER, SO IF SOMEONE IS NOT DOING THAT, THEN THERE IS NO LONGER A REASON FOR US TO REMAIN FRIENDS!!!!0
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I agree that it is your friend list and unlike family, you CAN choose who to be friends with. We all have to clean the list every once in a while and who you choose to keep and why is your choice.0
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I would delete anyone that hasn't logged on in a while- like a month or so, or anyone who is negative a lot. Negativity breeds negativity, and it has a way of bringing other people down. I have deleted several people on Facebook just for that.0
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You have to do what will work for you!
I enjoy constructive feedback and not always positive feedback. Sometimes it is hard to hear what you don't want to hear but it does depend on the delivery, etc.0 -
You are only as good as the friends you keep...Keep remembering that and have no guilt! WTG
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If somebody asks for a friend request I generally accept, I don't have to have the same goals or even expect to hear from them again BUT I do not add people unless I have found them inspiring & I don't add infrequent loggers. Maybe I won't speak to them but they are welcome to view my diary & gain encouragement that way(if it helps lol). Personally I like peoples profiles to be filled in & if they aren't I don't understand how I can get to know that person!
To answer your question, it's your friend list! & you should feel happy to choose who you want to be friends with
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Delete, either you log in everday and offer support or you get axed. I don't dwell on it.0
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Little did i know when i wrote this question, it would bring such great responses...thanks for taking time to reply...your answers have made my decisions much easier.....Sorry if u been deleted...but i need support...and i give it..so i deserve a hell yeah once in awhile...dont expect someone to drool over me...just a pat on the back once in awhile goes a long way!! Dusting off the delete button....0
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Oh dear, I hate the thought that someone might look at my activity and think I'm not commenting on anyone's updates - I've just hidden all that stuff so that my wall is cleaner and easier to navigate!
Anyway, I just recently had my first ever cull. Absolutely hated doing it and I felt terrible but I don't have the time to spend here to make sure I get to all my friends posts so I want my besties to have first priority but unfortunately there is no way to set that up without deleting. (Also wish I could elect which posts I want to see - I don't really care that someone has logged in for another 5 days but I have 50 or so posts every morning!).0
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