Are you putting too much pressure on yourself? I am!

KristyJoy123
KristyJoy123 Posts: 84 Member
edited October 6 in Motivation and Support
I have been incredibly, terribly stressed the past couple of months. Before the holidays, I was doing so well with my fitness and diet, and then the holidays rolled around. There was so much to do, and I just wasn't getting to the gym as often as I liked, and then I wasn't eating as well as I would like.

The stress started to just build. I use MFP religiously, I've lost 70 pounds in the past few years and I'm trying to keep it off and reduce my body fat percentage (I'm at 28% now, I'd like to maintain at 25%). I was going to bed at 10, getting up at 5:30 and getting to the gym at 6:15 5 days a week. As soon as a snag hit that schedule, everything fell apart. If I didn't make it to the gym, I would beat myself up. Beating myself up led to stressing out, which led to not sleeping. Not sleeping led to not making it to the gym -- a vicious cycle!

Not to mention, the extreme stress and fatigue led to unhealthy eating habits.

Yesterday, everything came to a head. I got into a fight with my live-in boyfriend about a package that we were having trouble getting delivered, and I mean, I was STRESSED OUT about it! He (obviously) was confused why I was so worked up over something so small and I had a minor breakdown and one thing led to another and he confessed that he thinks that I'm carrying around too much stress and I'm demanding too much of myself.

I thought about it and he's right! I'm being SO strict with myself and if I don't do exactly what I have in my head as an ideal, everything just falls apart. I'm doing this fitness/diet thing to make myself healthier and it turns out that my mind is completely UNHEALTHY! It was like, an epiphany!

So, this morning, I woke up to my gym alarm and noticed that every muscle in my body was sore. I decided to let myself take an unplanned rest day to recover. Sure, I could have forced myself to go do some cardio, but why should I? I mean, in the long run, I think that the happier I am, the more I'm going to want to exercise, because I LOVE exercise! It's my favorite hobby, and by being a drill sergeant to myself, I'm making it NOT fun!

It's like I'm writing in my journal here, but I think I just really wanted to share this with all of you because while I think what we are doing for ourselves is SO great and healthy, there is that chance of being TOO hard on yourself. If we aren't doing this because we want to be healthy and happy, what's the point!?

Thanks for listening :)

Replies

  • May63
    May63 Posts: 162
    exactly
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    yes
  • Gshepmix83
    Gshepmix83 Posts: 99 Member
    Yep I am.
  • aegira
    aegira Posts: 201 Member
    Thanks for writing this, I totally agree, because I've been doing the same thing and it is mind blowing to realise it.
    I've gotten to the stage that I set 2 alarms to make sure I still have time for the morning workout and I've been hating it, when I actually really love exercise these days.
    So yes I missed it today and you do know what I might miss the structured workout tomorrow BUT I may also take a nice long walk and "smell the flowers" for a change. It's times to lighten up on myself I've lost 73lbs so far so, good on me and p.s. relax the rest will come off too.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    I too put an immense amount of pressure on myself, but the thing is, I know myself too well. If I hadn't overdone it at times, I know that I wouldn't be where I am now.

    The secret is to find a balance between kicking your lazy butt into shape and not pushing yourself so hard that you just can't do it any more.

    If you find that balance let me know how you did it, because it's certainly eluded me! :bigsmile:
  • Amy911Gray
    Amy911Gray Posts: 685 Member
    I know what you mean...
  • Smelerz
    Smelerz Posts: 115 Member
    I have lost 30lbs using a personal trainer, dietician and mfp up until Dec. The wheels fell off and are impossible to put back on this past month and I am freaking out. I have gone back to my old ways. I am now stressing over planning my workouts for the next three weeks and have a day planned this weekend too make good food for the next month to pack into the freezer. Some days I think I'm nuts!
  • laurastrait21
    laurastrait21 Posts: 307 Member
    That's why it's so important for us all to remember - WE ARE HUMAN! We need to live our lives, breathe, and cheat a little - there will be an opportunity to make up for it and get back on track. Life is going to happen. Breathe deeply - and try yoga, it helps me relax!
  • jillcwhite
    jillcwhite Posts: 181 Member
    I am the same way. Always forcing myself to do more. I was working out this morning at 5:30am and was so tired all I wanted was to be in bed. I have been forcing myself to exercise 1-2 hours a day and feel I am wearing myself out but am afraid to stop and not get the benefits I need. I will make New Years Day my day of rest! Exercise should relieve stress not add to the stress, right?
  • mrsc86
    mrsc86 Posts: 188 Member
    I could have written this exact post this morning. I have set targets for each day since the start of Dec and i finally broke this morning when my husband had put all the towels in the wash and I had nothing to dry off after the shower....I shouted, I cried....all over some towels
  • SmallerBecky
    SmallerBecky Posts: 177
    I used to do this. I have been on MFP two or three times before I started again in September of this year. All the other times, I worked way too hard, ate too little, and burned myself out. It was all about the destination, and I wasn't getting there fast enough! I was doing P90X AND running three miles a day a few days a week. Pretty much every chance I got to exercise (I am married with four kids), I took it. I seriously did do two or three workouts a day. And I was trying to NET 1200 calories! Sometimes out on my runs, I would run out of gas and I'd find myself still 2 miles from home and suddenly I felt like I could barely even walk. And I was hard on myself mentally.

    This time around, it's completely different.

    You have to remember to LOVE yourself. I don't mean feeling mushy feelings for yourself and smiling in the mirror and trying to convince yourself that you love what you see. I mean, take actions that demonstrate love for yourself. Listen to your body. If it needs rest, give it rest. It knows what it needs! Resting and taking some time to read or garden or knit or party or whatever you like to do is just as important as kicking butt!

    It's been said over and over again: it's not a destination; it's a journey. Every day, right now, is what matters. If you know what you're doing RIGHT NOW is right for you, then it will eventually show on the scale and in the mirror. It's happening all the time!
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    im so stressed right now that i cant sleep or eat so ya i know how your feeling right now. and then dont have enough energy to get to the gym today cuz i havent slept 3 hrs last night and think i would crash the car if i tried to drive right now, but i have been at the gym at 5 everyday this wk for 2 hrs to relieve the stress so i need a day off. not really pressure on what i am doing but ya i am extremely focused right now. not always the case, balance idk how to do that
  • yabbo24497
    yabbo24497 Posts: 34 Member
    I'm in exactly the same boat. I over did it a very long time ago and woke up one morning and here I am. It's very frustrating, but I found I sports club not far from me that has sports for all seasons. I play softball from April thru October and they have indoor dodgeball and volleyball for the winter. I'm frustrated because the scale isn't moving and I feel like I'm doing everything right, but other people are seeing a difference in me and I'm feeling more energetic. So, don't give up, just change it up. :happy:
  • blazergrad
    blazergrad Posts: 603 Member
    I know that I didn't get to work out as much as I "normally" do during the holidays due to visiting family and all the general busyness that comes with this time of year ... and then there was all the not-so-healthy food options for a week or so ... and I was kind of beginning to let it get to me.

    I mean, I'd been so consistent and had my routine and now everything was all out of whack ... but then I just realized that it's okay because it's only a temporary thing and everything's going to be back to normal soon enough. A week or so of missing my exercises was not going to undo everything that I'd accomplished over the past 10 months ... and, as a matter of fact, it may have even been good for me to take a short break because when I got back to exercising yesterday, I had a GREAT session! :)

    So yeah, I think we do tend to sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves and that's when we just need to take a step back, catch our breath and realize that if we're serious about our fitness goals, then it becomes more of a lifestyle than just a passing fad and it's okay to have a few "off days" scattered along the way. :smile:
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    I know that I didn't get to work out as much as I "normally" do during the holidays due to visiting family and all the general busyness that comes with this time of year ... and then there was all the not-so-healthy food options for a week or so ... and I was kind of beginning to let it get to me.

    I mean, I'd been so consistent and had my routine and now everything was all out of whack ... but then I just realized that it's okay because it's only a temporary thing and everything's going to be back to normal soon enough. A week or so of missing my exercises was not going to undo everything that I'd accomplished over the past 10 months ... and, as a matter of fact, it may have even been good for me to take a short break because when I got back to exercising yesterday, I had a GREAT session! :)

    So yeah, I think we do tend to sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves and that's when we just need to take a step back, catch our breath and realize that if we're serious about our fitness goals, then it becomes more of a lifestyle than just a passing fad and it's okay to have a few "off days" scattered along the way. :smile:
    thanks for that!
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    Breathe deeply - and try yoga, it helps me relax!
    Any tips on how to make time to relax? :bigsmile:

    Joking apart, this time of year, something has to give. For me it's been the gym and some housework, sometimes with the best will in the world, there are simply not enough hours in the day to do everything. The rest of the year I've put the gym first, the last few weeks I've chosen not to. Sure I put on 2lb but it's not the end of the world. :)
  • EricMurano
    EricMurano Posts: 825 Member
    I don't put enough pressure on myself!
  • ALW65
    ALW65 Posts: 643 Member
    "You have to remember to LOVE yourself. I don't mean feeling mushy feelings for yourself and smiling in the mirror and trying to convince yourself that you love what you see. I mean, take actions that demonstrate love for yourself. Listen to your body. If it needs rest, give it rest. It knows what it needs! Resting and taking some time to read or garden or knit or party or whatever you like to do is just as important as kicking butt!

    It's been said over and over again: it's not a destination; it's a journey. Every day, right now, is what matters. If you know what you're doing RIGHT NOW is right for you, then it will eventually show on the scale and in the mirror. It's happening all the time! "

    That was very nicely put - it's so much easier to listen to the external pressures rather than where your body/mind is at the time. Somedays, it just feels like your life is not your own :ohwell:
  • pholbert
    pholbert Posts: 575 Member
    Workout at home. Lots of things for home workouts.
  • blazergrad
    blazergrad Posts: 603 Member
    thanks for that!

    You bet! We're all here because we've decided to make a change and there are going to be days when we all need a little support or extra motivation. That's one of the things I love about MFP! :happy:
  • KristyJoy123
    KristyJoy123 Posts: 84 Member
    I would love to sit here and reply to you each individually! I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I agree that it's all about a balance between pushing yourself and not making yourself crazy. I'm proud to say that since my epiphany, I'm going a little easier on myself. I went to the gym this morning, didn't have to force myself and really enjoyed my workout. I'm just going to listen to my body and try to relax!
  • KristyJoy123
    KristyJoy123 Posts: 84 Member
    I work out at the gym and at home, just whichever is easiest to schedule into my day.
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