My note of HOPE

First time back on here in 5 months.....alot has happened....in june i had a 1lb 7oz baby girl and nearly died several times because of HELLP Syndrome (those of you who dont know what that is should look it up because it affects more pregnant women that you realize).....in Aug. my 7 year old son woke up one day and could not walk. He was diagnosed with a autoimmune disorder called Polymyositis (very rare in children). Four children a year are diagnosed with this. He still has lots of problems with his walking and moving around. In Oct. i found out that I was pregnant again......a shocker!! The doctor told me that i will not survive this pregnancy because the HELLP Syndrome will come back. I have been depressed thinking that this will be the last christmas that i spend with my children and all. I had given up. But then for Christmas i recieved a blender from my husband. I thought to myself that i am in control of what goes into my body and maybe if i loose some of the weight i have on my body the i can reduce the stress that my body will go through when i get HELLP and when i have my c-section again. I have 3 children and 2 of the were premature and delivered by c-section. My body might not be aboe to handle another one but i could help it out a bot and just maybe i will make it through. I wanted to write this not to myself to remind myself that this next month i will drink smoothies and feel better about life. Also if i excerise a little bit my blood pressure might not get so high during this pregnancy. I want to live and this has given me some hope. Thanks for reading.