Why cheat? (venting)

people cheat tor many reasons, sometimes a person tries their best to make it clear they aren't happy but still nothing changes. If kids are involved they try to stay and work it out but it's hard to be faithful if you feel neglected and it's hard to just leave if you have years invested. On the other hand some guys are just jerks we as women see signs but want to hope for better and forgive. If he's drinking he's most likely trying to numb himself. I'm sorry for your pain and wish you better.

I am sorry for you and your children. I have no advice, just a listening ear.

I've never understood it either.. I figure people just like certain qualities about their spouse, but want other things from someone else. I've always told my fiance I'd rather him break my heart by breaking up with me than cheat on me with another person. I'm sorry this happened to you..

.. hmm seems like this happens way to often. tbh I cant name one person I know that hasn't cheated -.-... lol.. pretty dang sad.. This is probably one reason why I dont want to ever get married. Seems like marriage means nothing anymore..

I believe they cheat rather than ending a relationship to prop up their own flagging ego's.

I hope you have left the dog.

I fully get you wanting to bash him with a baseball bat lol. My ex husband had a lower back operation and I wanted to go and roundhouse kick him in it when he had just got out of hospital!!!!!! LMAO.

I went through this myself. I wasn't married to the guy and I wasn't in the relationship nearly as long as you were.

I'd try to do things with him, he'd say, "Oh I'm studying." (College) Which I thought nothing of, at first. But then I started to notice he didn't seem to want me around at all. For example, I tried to help him move in on campus but he refused to let me be there.
Then, when he got sick, (which he had before and I took care of him when he lived at home) he said not to bother coming to the campus because his mom was coming over to see/take care of him.

He kept pushing away, and I kept clinging worse and worse because he wouldn't end it, and it never crossed my mind because I thought I loved him. So he told me to start hanging with my friends, because he was busy a lot of the time. And by busy I mean he was either hard at work on studying or staying up all night to play video games with his roomies. Couldn't squeeze time in there for me, how stupid huh?

In the end, as I was hanging out with one of my friends, leaving town-I caught him riding into town with another girl. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and texted him to see if he mentioned her. He didn't. I parked at the movie theater and then they pulled up and started looking at the movies. So I made my move: Sent him a text saying, "Oh, me and Steff (my friend) are just bored here in town. BTW, who's that girl sitting next to you?"

I even saw the light from his cell phone screen inside the cab of his truck as he got the message. He tore off so fast it made the theater shake. I even waited for him on campus, told him I was there and that he needed to come talk to me. I was crying so bad, some of the students thought I had been stabbed and wounded. (Made me feel wonderful, to hear that)

Reflecting on all of it, I think the reason he did it is because he was scared of my reaction. As in he didn't want to deal with a break up and me crying over it all. SO, he just drew it out till that incident. I think that in some cases, people have such a low threshold for empathy or an emotion that they don't know HOW to deal with anyone elses'...so they avoid.

The irony in all this is that he has gained all that I've lost and then some. (63 lbs total since pregnancy) And I live across the street from campus, with my boyfriend and our daughter. And I go to that college now as well.

I don't understand it either. I mean, I know a few people who couldn't give two shakes if they cheat or not and I just wonder, well why bother having a relationship?

I take pride in knowing that I have never cheated and I take faith in knowing that I never will. I would much rather be there for someone who loves me rather than have one night stands with everything that walks. It's rather unusual, to say the least.

I have been cheated on and I will never understand it nor say it is ok. If you are unhappy in a relationship and nothing changes even after talking, then grow some balls and end the relationship. Not only because of the hurt but because of all the diseases you can bring into a relationship. My ex cheated and he only called me because his mother forced him to tell me that he had "caught a std", luckily I didn't have it otherwise I am not sure if he could still walk or talk (I am not a violent person by the way).

My husband has been cheated on too so we both know how it feels to be betrayed and I rather have him tell me that he doesn't love me anymore than being cheated on again and so does he. Both hurts, but at least walk out with some dignity.

I am really sorry that you had to go through it and wish I could tell you anything to make you feel better. I hope that soon you can start your day with a happy smile on your face again and look back without being mad or sad.