Local culture makes it hard to say no to food

jessicaloubell
jessicaloubell Posts: 12 Member
edited October 7 in Health and Weight Loss
I live in the deepest south (US). Here on the MS/LA/AL gulf coast food is the culture. We are the most overweight people in the nation. One major reason for that is it is considered rude to refuse food offered. Period. Another major reason is that sitting seems to be most people's favorite past time. They sit and eat, sit and talk, sit and drink, sit and watch tv, sit and watch the kids play, sit at a slot machine. About the only other thing they do is stand in line at the buffet! I'm half kidding. (Seriously why would you spend two hours standing in a line so you can pay thirty dollars to sit and gorge yourself!) I'm sure this is true of other places around the country and world. What I want to know is this: How many other people out there feel like the local culture around them wants them to be fat and sedentary? Also, how do you refuse food in a polite way in a culture that insists you eat whatever is offered?

Replies

  • funkycamper
    funkycamper Posts: 998 Member
    I think the whole US is like that, not just the south.

    I just say "no, but thanks for offering".

    If someone is going to be offended because I don't eat their food that's their problem, not mine.
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 17,247 Member
    :bigsmile: it is the same everywhere:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Just say "no thank you "
  • Poohsta0
    Poohsta0 Posts: 147 Member
    I think the whole US is like that, not just the south.

    I just say "no, but thanks for offering".

    If someone is going to be offended because I don't eat their food that's their problem, not mine.

    ^^ This!
  • AngChambers06
    AngChambers06 Posts: 126 Member
    I think the whole US is like that, not just the south.

    I just say "no, but thanks for offering".

    If someone is going to be offended because I don't eat their food that's their problem, not mine.

    I agree if not eating offends someone then they're the ones with the problem. I'm from the South as well, and I only eat when I want to lol

    and if worse comes to worse eat small portions and pick the best of what your given to chose from.... and run it off :)
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    I've just learned to say 'i cant eat that' or 'i cant drink today'

    Those statement don't really make sense, unless I had some sorta allergy, I totally could...

    ..yet nobody really questions it.

    Kinda funny eh?
  • pen2u
    pen2u Posts: 224 Member
    Blame it on your doctor: "Oh, that looks sooo good, but my doctor won't allow it." Or "I'm allergic to xyz, sorry." I live in a fat community as well but my gluten-free diet has given me a graceful way to refuse goodies that seem to be part of every gathering.
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
    As polite as everyone is trying to be on all ends-both offering food on one end and not refusing it on the other just remember that people who want you to eat and eat obviously don't care about your health, so why should you care about their feelings. if you just ate, or aren't hungry; politely say no, instead of politely saying yes next time.
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
    I live in TX and its definitely like that around here. My roommate is from Louisiana and she gets extremely offended when I don't eat her food, I've just had to learn to ignore her *****ing at me about it. I'm not going to sacrifice my health just to please her.
  • summer827
    summer827 Posts: 516 Member
    I'm in the south and there are active people, too! It really helps to have friends interested in an active lifestyle. Not that you have to exclude anyone, but it helps reinforce the behaviors you want to be habits in your life.

    I find that if you politely decline food/treats consistently, people are less likely to try to tempt you. My grandmother has finally stopped preparing huge meals three times a day when I am staying over. Hurray! And I don't always say "no" but I choose to splurge on what I really love. I'm trying hard not to eat something just because it's there when it otherwise holds no temptation for me!
  • jessicaloubell
    jessicaloubell Posts: 12 Member
    I've just learned to say 'i cant eat that' or 'i cant drink today'

    Those statement don't really make sense, unless I had some sorta allergy, I totally could...

    ..yet nobody really questions it.

    Kinda funny eh?

    Extremely funny indeed.

    I always have this experience over the holidays and I have learned that, at least when it comes to my family, you don't say anything about being on a diet or watching what you eat. If you do, they tend to spend the rest of the day talking about how your eating habits or trying to coax you into cheating. They will say things like, "It's just one day!" or "You know I only make this pie once a year." or "Well just eat what I brought and nothing else!"

    What's worse is no one wants to go and DO anything at all. No one owns a bike, I like cycling. No one goes hiking when camping, or does much of anything when I visit them. It's either sit and talk and be social, or stay home and be considered anti-social.
  • formersec
    formersec Posts: 233 Member
    You have to decide what's more important -- you health or someone's hurt feelings. Practice saying, no thank you. Your loved ones and friends should understand if you can't gorge yourself. If they persist, then you know they don't really care about you. If necessary, you may have to distance yourself from them. The responsibility for losing weight and becoming healthy is yours and yours alone. Sometimes we have to make some hard decisions and if it takes removing yourself from people and social situations that are adverse to your well being, then so be it. It's not selfishness to want to be as healthy as you possibly can be and hopefully live a long and healthy life. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise or try to make you feel guilty.
  • funkycamper
    funkycamper Posts: 998 Member
    I think it's sad that your family isn't supportive but they will never learn to respect you and your choices if you don't stand up for yourself.

    I don't think most foods are truly off-limits, just watch your portions. But if they truly cook the types of foods that you can't eat while dieting, or that are simply binge-triggers for you, bring your own food. Problem solved.

    When you're camping or whatever, do you ever ask somebody to join you for a hike or a walk? Maybe somebody would love to join you?

    Are you sure everybody is so non-supportive? Have you really tried to have a heart-to-heart discussion about your goals and how they make you feel? If so and they refuse to support you, then I would rather spend time with people who are supportive of me and who like to do the types of things I like to do. I wouldn't worry about being considered anti-social by people who care so little about me. YMMV.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    I don't think most foods are truly off-limits, just watch your portions.

    There are people who have foods that must be off-limits - and Im definitely one of them... both foods that I need to change my behaviors over, and .... the list of foods that I was medically required to remove.... so, yeah, there are foods that can be deemed off-limits...
  • jessicaloubell
    jessicaloubell Posts: 12 Member
    I think it's sad that your family isn't supportive but they will never learn to respect you and your choices if you don't stand up for yourself.

    I don't think most foods are truly off-limits, just watch your portions. But if they truly cook the types of foods that you can't eat while dieting, or that are simply binge-triggers for you, bring your own food. Problem solved.

    When you're camping or whatever, do you ever ask somebody to join you for a hike or a walk? Maybe somebody would love to join you?

    Are you sure everybody is so non-supportive? Have you really tried to have a heart-to-heart discussion about your goals and how they make you feel? If so and they refuse to support you, then I would rather spend time with people who are supportive of me and who like to do the types of things I like to do. I wouldn't worry about being considered anti-social by people who care so little about me. YMMV.

    I have thought about just not going to family functions anymore. I don't want to give up on them. I guess I just keep thinking next time I see them it will be different. Maybe if I am around them more they will understand me better. Of course, this never happens. I guess it's just the last thing I've held onto since my childhood. My cousins and I used to be so close when we were kids. I guess I thought that would last into adulthood. My sisters and I aren't much better. Okay this is going way beyond now.
  • funkycamper
    funkycamper Posts: 998 Member
    I don't think most foods are truly off-limits, just watch your portions.

    There are people who have foods that must be off-limits - and Im definitely one of them... both foods that I need to change my behaviors over, and .... the list of foods that I was medically required to remove.... so, yeah, there are foods that can be deemed off-limits...

    I did say that someone might want to avoid binge-triggers but, yeah, I didn't stop to think about medical issues so, yup, you're right on that. Since the OP hadn't mentioned health issues, I just neglected to think about that in terms of this particular discussion.
  • astronasrin
    astronasrin Posts: 9
    It is the same in my country (Iran). And actually moving to Canada is one of the reasons I could eventually lose weight after so many years!
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    I don't think most foods are truly off-limits, just watch your portions.

    There are people who have foods that must be off-limits - and Im definitely one of them... both foods that I need to change my behaviors over, and .... the list of foods that I was medically required to remove.... so, yeah, there are foods that can be deemed off-limits...

    I did say that someone might want to avoid binge-triggers but, yeah, I didn't stop to think about medical issues so, yup, you're right on that. Since the OP hadn't mentioned health issues, I just neglected to think about that in terms of this particular discussion.

    Make a deal with you.. Ill give you all of my:

    Potatoes
    Corn
    Rice
    Pasta
    Breads
    White flour
    bleached flour
    all flour
    full fat dairy...
    most medium and high glycemic fruits

    and Ill take some of your vegetables 8-)
  • jessicaloubell
    jessicaloubell Posts: 12 Member
    It is the same in my country (Iran). And actually moving to Canada is one of the reasons I could eventually lose weight after so many years!

    Hey thanks for sharing! I knew it couldn't just be a US thing! I'm glad your move helped you start to get healthy. We (my fiance', daughter and I) have been thinking of doing the same thing. We both came here from larger cities and enjoy the faster pace. We had actually been considering moving north and Canada was on the top of our list, lol! Now we are considering NY, Chicago, or Minneapolis/St. Paul.
  • deathb4disco
    deathb4disco Posts: 8 Member
    I'm from a small town in GA, so I understand. I usually don't usually have problems with people offering me food and getting butt-hurt because I don't want to partake in it because I'm always very polite about it. I've found as long as you're not being righteous about your diet and just say, "Oh, sweetheart, I've already eaten, but I appreciate it," no one will give you any grief.

    ;)
  • funkycamper
    funkycamper Posts: 998 Member
    :smile: I eat all the full-fat dairy I want but limited amounts of all the others, but none have been completely eliminated. They are just for my splurge meals not for my regular daily meals.
  • astronasrin
    astronasrin Posts: 9
    :D
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