Punny Jokes to make the day go by....

Abbie_Thompson
Abbie_Thompson Posts: 45 Member
edited October 2 in Chit-Chat
Thought a punny joke thread could be fun...I'll go first...

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was "In-tents"

bwahahaha
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Replies

  • Abbie_Thompson
    Abbie_Thompson Posts: 45 Member
    One more to get it going...

    What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

    Ele-if-ino!
  • macylane4
    macylane4 Posts: 224
    Do you know why the tomato blushed?



    It saw the salad dressing:laugh:
  • pebbles72
    pebbles72 Posts: 89 Member
    Why did the blonde keep an empty milk carton in the fridge??





    In case anyone wanted black coffee :laugh:
  • Larius
    Larius Posts: 507 Member
    Incorrigible punster. Don't encourage.
  • ksyrnyk
    ksyrnyk Posts: 53 Member
    Where do generals keep their armies?

    In their sleevies...



    bad da dum! :tongue:
  • 1stTrainHome
    1stTrainHome Posts: 12
    Puns are not for kids. They are intended for groan readers.
  • chefchazz
    chefchazz Posts: 427 Member
    whats invisible and smells like bananas??

    monkey farts!:laugh:
  • macylane4
    macylane4 Posts: 224
    Why did the blonde keep running to the mailbox?

    Because her computer kept telling her she got mail!!!

    That one is from playboy...my fiance likes to read me all of those jokes.
  • Abbie_Thompson
    Abbie_Thompson Posts: 45 Member
    What did the pony with a cold say?

    Sorry, I'm a little horse :-)
  • InstantSunshine
    InstantSunshine Posts: 355 Member
    Why did Nivea Creme?
    Because Max Factor.
  • bethanyranes
    bethanyranes Posts: 44 Member
    Two fish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says,

    "So, do YOU know how to drive this thing?"

    (Used that one at a job interview once)
  • Abbie_Thompson
    Abbie_Thompson Posts: 45 Member
    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    You know
    You know who?
    yep, AVADA KEDAVRA

    A little harry potter humor....
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    Two fish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says,

    "So, do YOU know how to drive this thing?"

    (Used that one at a job interview once)
    DOH!!
  • megan6709
    megan6709 Posts: 60 Member
    One more to get it going...

    What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

    Ele-if-ino!

    I don't get this one - please explain? LOL
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
    One more to get it going...

    What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

    Ele-if-ino!

    I don't get this one - please explain? LOL

    Break it down further: Ele-if-I-no :tongue:
  • Abbie_Thompson
    Abbie_Thompson Posts: 45 Member
    A set of jumper cables walk in to a bar and order a drink.
    The annoyed bartender says, "I'll server you but you better not start anything!"
  • Purpleflipflops
    Purpleflipflops Posts: 563 Member
    How Do you catch a unique rabbit?
    U-nique up on it!

    How do you catch a tame one?
    The tame way!

    Also, I feel everyone needs this in their life...
    Unknown.jpg
  • Purpleflipflops
    Purpleflipflops Posts: 563 Member
    Also, one of my favorite jokes (Kind of a pun)...
    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were getting cold so they decided to light a fire in their boat. It promptly sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
  • GoodbyeGut
    GoodbyeGut Posts: 40 Member
    A baby seal walks into a club...


    WACKA WACKA
  • Spruillie03
    Spruillie03 Posts: 155 Member
    Knock, Knock
    Who's there?
    To
    To who?
    To WHOM. Learn your grammar!


    The past, the present and the future walk into a bar...
    It was tense.


    When life hands you melons.... you just might be Dyslexic.


    Why are emo brownies better than regular brownies?
    Because they cut themselves.

    (I could do this all night)
  • GoodbyeGut
    GoodbyeGut Posts: 40 Member
    A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies, "You got a drink named Murray?"
  • GoodbyeGut
    GoodbyeGut Posts: 40 Member
    Knock Knock!

    Who's there?

    Interrupting cow...

    Interrupting Cow MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO who?

    courtesy of my 9 yo daughter!
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
    What do you call an overweight cat that just ate a mallard?

    - A duck-filled fatty puss -
  • lisaosumarie
    lisaosumarie Posts: 37
    Why did the blonde keep an empty milk carton in the fridge??





    In case anyone wanted black coffee :laugh:

    I don't get this one...I think I am thinking too hard about it..haha!
  • Sloth_Jog
    Sloth_Jog Posts: 76
    Why did Nivea Creme?
    Because Max Factor.

    Puns are not for kids. They are intended for groan readers.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I'm still groaning.
    Folks these are so bad...they are good! :flowerforyou:
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
    You'd think the Air and Space museum would be a lot emptier than it is.
    I was at the library and saw a book entitled 'Overcoming procrastination', "I'll read it later." I said as I put it back.
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
    "Seven days without a pun makes one weak."
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    Two guys walk into a bar
    The third guy ducked


    What do you call a dislexic atheist?
    Someone who doesn't believe there is a dog.
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
    A priest, a rabbi, and a southern baptist minister walk into a bar.
    The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
  • lyknscribe
    lyknscribe Posts: 89
    Props for the HP refrence!


    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef.
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