Punny Jokes to make the day go by....

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2

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  • GoodbyeGut
    GoodbyeGut Posts: 40 Member
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    A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies, "You got a drink named Murray?"
  • GoodbyeGut
    GoodbyeGut Posts: 40 Member
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    Knock Knock!

    Who's there?

    Interrupting cow...

    Interrupting Cow MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO who?

    courtesy of my 9 yo daughter!
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
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    What do you call an overweight cat that just ate a mallard?

    - A duck-filled fatty puss -
  • lisaosumarie
    lisaosumarie Posts: 37
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    Why did the blonde keep an empty milk carton in the fridge??





    In case anyone wanted black coffee :laugh:

    I don't get this one...I think I am thinking too hard about it..haha!
  • Sloth_Jog
    Sloth_Jog Posts: 76
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    Why did Nivea Creme?
    Because Max Factor.

    Puns are not for kids. They are intended for groan readers.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I'm still groaning.
    Folks these are so bad...they are good! :flowerforyou:
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
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    You'd think the Air and Space museum would be a lot emptier than it is.
    I was at the library and saw a book entitled 'Overcoming procrastination', "I'll read it later." I said as I put it back.
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
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    "Seven days without a pun makes one weak."
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
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    Two guys walk into a bar
    The third guy ducked


    What do you call a dislexic atheist?
    Someone who doesn't believe there is a dog.
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
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    A priest, a rabbi, and a southern baptist minister walk into a bar.
    The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
  • lyknscribe
    lyknscribe Posts: 89
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    Props for the HP refrence!


    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    Puns are not for kids. They are intended for groan readers.

    LOL! A kid told me this one:
    Teachers never die, they just lose (not loose!) their class.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    I think some people don't understand what a pun is... :laugh:
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
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    I think some people don't understand what a pun is... :laugh:

    something more like this?

    There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
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    Gravity, it's always putting everyone down.
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
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    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
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    The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
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    A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
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    I think some people don't understand what a pun is... :laugh:
    I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
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    One eye said to the other, “Just between you and me, there’s something that smells.”
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
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    When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

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