Unanswered Questions of the Broken Hearted (vent)

nhendri · May 2009

-What happened?
-Why Me?
-How could you say you Love Me and then Hurt Me?
-Why did you lie?
-When Did you stop caring?
-Why did you lead me on, when you could have just been honest?
- Do you really think that it is justified or ok to hurt another person?
-Why do you continue to lead me on and hurt me?
- How do you sleep at night?
-Why are you not hurting like I am?
-How could you be so selfish?
- Will I recover?
-When will the pain stop?
-Why cant I let go?
-Should I try to love in the future when it causes soooo much PAIN?
-What did I do wrong?
-Am I unlovable?
-Why is Time the only healer of a broken heart?
-How could something make you feel soo good just to cause soo much pain?

I guess we should ask ourselves, Do we really want the answers to these questions? Will it make us feel better to know the truth or to know how evil humans can really be or how selfish they are. Would having all the answers help the heart mend? Or would it just cause you frustration and anger because you are sooo disappointed in a person you love because you see how truly manipulative they were to you? Could you handle the disapointment in yourself for falling for the same tricks and not seeing all the signs?
In the end we have to move on and live on. Its definitely not easy and eventually the pain will decrease and you will be thankful for the lessons learned. We have to, if life ended with every broken heart we would not exist. I am trying to recover the best I know how from a broken heart. I am disappointed in myself for allowing myself to be vulnerable. I was raped and beaten by an ex and this actually feels more painful then that ( I believe its cause I expected pain from him). I had been so closed off from the world from that and finally allowed myself to trust and love again. Will this stop me from being the passionate, giving, loving person I have always been NO! Will it take time for me to break down the walls YES! Will I cry my heart out and wish I could turn back time YES! Do I wish pain upon the person who hurt me KINDA! Do you wish they would come back YES! Does any of this work or make sense NO! I am sooo Frustrated I wish I could scream till I couldn't scream any more will it help probly not! The Hardest part is no matter how badly I'm hurt I will love that person and try my best to continue to see the good in them! In time the anger will be gone and I will be thankful again! Its hard after something like this to see the truth but the truth is
I am a good person, I did nothing wrong, I will find someone someday who will love me and truly appreciate all that I am. I have soo much to offer and I will not keep that from the world!! I am not perfect but I will continue to be the best I can. I will fight for what I want!! I will share the love that I have been blessed to give. I am beautiful inside and out! I will not allow someone else to make me feel less than what I am!! We are all special and I am no exception!! I will learn to give myself the love I should along with respect. Its kind of funny Iv always been an emotionally eater but this time I cant keep anything down. Thank goodness for the stomach flu or I may have eaten myself away from my goal to be a healthier happier ME! Too all the broken hearted this to shall pass. Allow yourself to be happy you deserve it!!

If you have any advice to help this time pass Please share!

anthrochix · May 2009

oh you poor darling. I'm sorry that you are hurting, but this too shall pass. I hope that you get to the "letting go" place quickly and that you arrive at complete freedom. One day (and may it be soon) you will be able to look back on this event (with no pain) and be greatful for the growth that it has brought to your life. God often allows bad/hurting things to happen to us to grow us into the people that we were meant to be. In the meantime, focus on the good things that you have in your life. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Feel better soon.

kimss · May 2009

God's Promise
God didn't promise
days without pain,
laughter without sorrow,
or sun without rain.
But God did promise
strength for the day
comfort for the tears
and a light for the way.
And for all who believe
in His kingdom above,
He answers their faith
with everlasting love.

GTOgirl1969 · May 2009

Thoughts, prayers, and hugs coming your way. I know how bad it hurts to get dumped on.

AllenMom4 · May 2009

I understand where you are coming from. I am going through a divorce right now from an abussive relationship. I was always hiding bruises and lting to my family inorder to stay with this man cause I believed he was the best I could do. I had a lot of emotionally issues for the longest time. I was raped at 16 and it took a huge emotional toll on me and took years to over come. Then settling for a man that could be so mean and hurt me all the time. I was put in the hospital numberous times from him. I was even pushed out of a moving vehicle and hospitalized for 2 weeks from him. It took alot for me to wake up and relieze I deserved so much more. For me and my kids. I have finally learned to stand up for myself and do whats best for me and my kids. And I am finally enjoying life and taking care of me.

Things are unfair and gard but sometimes. But never give up and stay strong! I thought my life was completely over the day I decided to leave him. But it turns out that ;etting go of my past was the best thing I could ever do for myself and my kids.

rheston · May 2009

I would like to first of all say you CONGRATULATIONS for your courage to be able to endure that type of treatment and then share it with us. It only goes to show you that you are on the way to healing.

The other thing that you should realize, as should clymermom, is that you ARE a survivor. You have the innate skills to survive and move on in your life. It may not feel like it now but in your words I see it very clearly.

Believe it or not, as a guy, I've been down that path and know the hurt and pain all too well.

:flowerforyou:

AllenMom4 · May 2009

Thank you!

AllenMom4 · May 2009

Life is a gift, accept it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is a mystery, unfold it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a struggle, face it.
Life is beauty, praise it.
Life is a puzzle, solve it.
Life is opportunity, take it.
Life is sorrowful, experience it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a goal, achieve it.
Life is a mission, fulfill it.

easy2lov3 · May 2009

I know exactly how this feels getting hurt by someone you love and can’t imagine life without. Ever since I was three years old till I was 11 I was constantly raped by a few men, my father being one of them. This has been haunting me for years. I hated men but allowed myself to fall in love with my ex. because he was the only man I ever trusted I gave him my all. For five years I was in this abusive relationship, not jus physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I knew that I should let him go but was so afraid of life without him, he was all I knew. Until one day, I was 4 months pregnant on my birthday; I came home and found him sleeping with his brother’s girlfriend:brokenheart: . He got so angry that he beat me till the point I lost my baby

. I was in the hospital for about a week, and never returned home. That’s what it took for me to realize that it was time to go. May 24th is my birthday, and I can’t believe it’s been a year already. I thank God for helping me find myself and realize that I don’t need this man to survive:drinker: . It hasn’t been easy, and it hurts to say I still do love this person, but now I see how strong he made me. Everyone comes in our life with a mission and once it’s fulfilled they live, one way or the other.

Honestly, I believe that the key to healing and moving on is forgiveness. When you hold on to the pain, you give it power over your life.

Good luck to all:drinker:

nhendri · May 2009

Thank you!

MissGorgeous · May 2009

oh sweetie!
this is all too familuilar!

my ex broke my heart into a zillion pieces
and it took a little over a year for me to "recover"
i cried over him....and forgot the bad things and remebered only the good times and missed him and wanted him so bad....and then i somehow got over it when i realized he didnt care enough about me
he loved me yes....but didnt love me enough for it to change anything...he just loved me enough to hurt me
when i finally recovered
he came right back to me
and i was stupid and got cought up in his games
he didnt want to be with me...he kept putting it off saying soon but we can do everything else
he contunied to lead me on and put me down and lead me on some more and put me down some more...then tell me i was amazing and we would be together soon....
and then he got a new girlfriend and i was just his way of passing the time
this stupid cycle went on way too long
and i was left to pick up the pieces of my alrwady shattered heart AGAIN for the second time

really it just takes time
and get rid of all the pictures and everything of is
that was my mistake the first time

i held on to our pictures and his old t shirts and his jewlery he gave me
and i just really made it worse on myself
instead of remember how bad he trearted me...i focused on the good times
and that was not helpful in getting over it

i really am sorry hunny
i know no words can even help in a time like this

MissGorgeous · May 2009

oh sweetie!
this is all too familuilar!

my ex broke my heart into a zillion pieces
and it took a little over a year for me to "recover"
i cried over him....and forgot the bad things and remebered only the good times and missed him and wanted him so bad....and then i somehow got over it when i realized he didnt care enough about me
he loved me yes....but didnt love me enough for it to change anything...he just loved me enough to hurt me
when i finally recovered
he came right back to me
and i was stupid and got cought up in his games
he didnt want to be with me...he kept putting it off saying soon but we can do everything else
he contunied to lead me on and put me down and lead me on some more and put me down some more...then tell me i was amazing and we would be together soon....
and then he got a new girlfriend and i was just his way of passing the time
this stupid cycle went on way too long
and i was left to pick up the pieces of my alrwady shattered heart AGAIN for the second time

really it just takes time
and get rid of all the pictures and everything of is
that was my mistake the first time

i held on to our pictures and his old t shirts and his jewlery he gave me
and i just really made it worse on myself
instead of remember how bad he trearted me...i focused on the good times
and that was not helpful in getting over it

i really am sorry hunny
i know no words can even help in a time like this

ma9321 · May 2009

I know what you're going through.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Unanswered Questions of the Broken Hearted (vent)

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