Depression and weight loss

Bunnies_Revenge
Bunnies_Revenge Posts: 123
edited September 19 in Motivation and Support
I can't eat when I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because my husband hasn't talked to me in almost two weeks.

Perhaps the fact that he's in Iraq is getting to me because I over worry.

But my best friend's husband did the same to he. He stopped talking for her for two weeks and then popped up saying he wants a divorce. I'm scared mine is going to do the same.

=/

So yeah, I haven't eaten anything and been pacing all day to see if he gets online just to even say hello would be fine. I miss him some much.

Replies

  • TANKENEY32
    TANKENEY32 Posts: 105 Member
    Im so sorry about your hubby.. Maybe he is just unable to contact you .. Try not to think the worst. But, you have to eat.. Just eat something small, A nutrigrain bar or something. You have to stay healthy for him when he gets home.. Try to think positive thoughts. I know it is easier said then done. My hubby was infantry in the Army so i know exactly how you feel....hugs, Tonya :flowerforyou:
  • PonyGirl34
    PonyGirl34 Posts: 29
    Hey there....I read your profile...go check it out. Re-read it. What's your inspiration? Your loving husband. Remember that when you feel this way. Okay? Your loving husband. You put that there for a reason. Believe in it. Our minds are our own enemies sometimes. It's amazing what we can come up with when left alone long enough. Now go eat something and get moving. How cool would it be for him to come home and see just how much he inspired you?
    :smile:
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    (((hugs)))
    I hope he is able to call you soon. :flowerforyou:
  • 00Angela00
    00Angela00 Posts: 1,077 Member
    Everyone is a little different and I have no idea how you are feeling right now, but I also have anxiety issues and have dealed with a lot of stuff with my husband so I want to just incourage you to take care of yourself. It might be a good idea to see a doctor and have them prescribed you with a anxiety medication that will help you relax. Exercising releases hormones that help you relax as well. But that must stress is horrible on your body and can cause conditions like ulcers! Try to eat at least a small light meal several times a day and do relaxing things like hot baths with music, wilderness walks, etc to help you relax. Good luck with everything! I'm sure he'll call soon!
  • kelligirl
    kelligirl Posts: 210
    My thoughts and prayers are with you. My oldest daughter's husband has been to Iraq several times and she's been through the same thing - not hearing from him for days and weeks at a time. I agree with PonyGirl - our minds are our own [worst] enemies sometimes. Get up, get something healthy to eat and getting moving! You aren't doing yourself or your husband any favors by not taking care of yourself. Keep your chin up!
  • Bunnies_Revenge
    Bunnies_Revenge Posts: 123
    Everyone is a little different and I have no idea how you are feeling right now, but I also have anxiety issues and have dealed with a lot of stuff with my husband so I want to just incourage you to take care of yourself. It might be a good idea to see a doctor and have them prescribed you with a anxiety medication that will help you relax. Exercising releases hormones that help you relax as well. But that must stress is horrible on your body and can cause conditions like ulcers! Try to eat at least a small light meal several times a day and do relaxing things like hot baths with music, wilderness walks, etc to help you relax. Good luck with everything! I'm sure he'll call soon!

    I'm on medication already, I've been on it for awhile.
  • Bunnies_Revenge
    Bunnies_Revenge Posts: 123
    My thoughts and prayers are with you. My oldest daughter's husband has been to Iraq several times and she's been through the same thing - not hearing from him for days and weeks at a time. I agree with PonyGirl - our minds are our own [worst] enemies sometimes. Get up, get something healthy to eat and getting moving! You aren't doing yourself or your husband any favors by not taking care of yourself. Keep your chin up!

    It's the point that he blames it on the net over there being down, and yet I see everyone else in his unit on. And if it's the net, then why doesn't he call me? They're not on blackout, and I've talked to people who see him everyday.

    I feel like he treats me like a toy and it hurts. He thinks he can just talk to me when he feels like it because he doesn't want to feel tithered to the internet like the rest of his guys in his unit who rush back to their rooms to talk to their wives.

    Part of me wants to tell him that I'm done, that I can't take how he constantly puts his wants in front of mine and sits me on the back burner then expects me not to get burned.
  • PonyGirl34
    PonyGirl34 Posts: 29
    After reading your second post, my thoughts are different - especially if you see others online. Do you think you could explain to him how you feel? Calmly without accusing? Maybe come up with an agreement where he MAKES SURE to call or email every X amount of days, but where he knows if something happens and he can't, that you will be understanding? It sounds like he could possibly be putting it off not realizing how important it is to you. But we really don't know....

    Chin up girlie!
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    After reading your second post, my thoughts are different - especially if you see others online. Do you think you could explain to him how you feel? Calmly without accusing? Maybe come up with an agreement where he MAKES SURE to call or email every X amount of days, but where he knows if something happens and he can't, that you will be understanding? It sounds like he could possibly be putting it off not realizing how important it is to you. But we really don't know....

    Chin up girlie!

    Gotta agree. After reading your second post, screw him.
    You are not to be neglected or ignored. You are to be loved, cherish and missed greatly.
    He should want to rush back to talk to you, internet or phone.

    Is this his first deployment? How long has he been gone?
  • Bunnies_Revenge
    Bunnies_Revenge Posts: 123
    We've been together for 8 years. So idk if I'm just going to throw it all away just because he hasn't talked to me for a week. I hate it because mostly it feels like neglect. But I know he's not doing anything or purposely avoiding me. The guy is tired a lot and he's battling depression and deployment all in one breath.

    Its his first deployment

    He goes back in forth, he wants his time alone and he tells me he misses me greatly.

    Its quit possible that he's had a bad week and has reserved himself so that he doesn't take his 'dark side' as he calls it out on other people.

    It doesn't help though, this deployment. I'm use to having him here and dealing with his emotions as they come. Its easier to give alone time when you know he's in the next room, hard when you know he's across the sea.

    I'll talk to him about it next time he gets on.

    But I agree with both. A. Talk to him about it, getting on every three days and telling me he's okay and that he loves me won't hurt him, unless something comes up where he can't get on and then I'll accept it. B. If he can't accept that, then maybe he's not mature enough for a marriage.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    Remind him that you'd rather hear his voice daily, even if he's depressed or sad or "dark", than not hear from him daily. Sometimes talking can cheer someone up even if they think they can't be cheered up. (I've been there before MANY times.) :flowerforyou:
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