My husband just doesn't get it!!!

Options
hinther
hinther Posts: 8
in Health and Weight Loss
Has anyone ever had a spouse that chewed you out for counting calories, my did. My family is so used to eating large portions that when I brought out the measuring cups to make sure I didn't go over my calorie intake for the day, he jumped my case and told me that I just need to eat and not worry so much about every little calorie. It really puts a damper on the motivation when your own spouse can't even stand behind you and your goals. It made me want to go out and by a score bar.
«1

Replies

  • hinther
    hinther Posts: 8
    Options
    Has anyone ever had a spouse that chewed you out for counting calories, my did. My family is so used to eating large portions that when I brought out the measuring cups to make sure I didn't go over my calorie intake for the day, he jumped my case and told me that I just need to eat and not worry so much about every little calorie. It really puts a damper on the motivation when your own spouse can't even stand behind you and your goals. It made me want to go out and by a score bar.
  • Life_is_Good
    Life_is_Good Posts: 361 Member
    Options
    You need to do this for yourself...
    I know there's been situations when my own husband has not been very supportive, but as you progress & he can see the difference in you, he'll come around.... :smile:
  • mydogmesa2
    mydogmesa2 Posts: 205 Member
    Options
    Its hard I know, but look at the bright side, youre loved for who you are and not what you look like:flowerforyou:

    :heart: Krystal
  • hmmmm
    hmmmm Posts: 607 Member
    Options
    yeah mine can be like that too. I actually get much of my motivation from fighting off his attempts at making me cheat. Just stick to it and prove him wrong this is the first time i have stuck to something for so long good luck to you
  • Erica92627
    Erica92627 Posts: 576
    Options
    I'm glad mine just tells me to eat what I can. So I guess that means if I want to bring the measures out then he's not going to care. But I think the moment I start trying to measure out his portions i think that is where he'll draw a line. lol
  • kmjgrant
    kmjgrant Posts: 80
    Options
    I can't really say forget what he says, because he is your husband. But, if he is going to keep acting like that you are going to tell him how you feel about it if you haven't already. Remember this is for you, and you have to block out everyone else.:smile:
  • KariandCo
    KariandCo Posts: 29
    Options
    Not a day goes by that I'm not thankful that everyone in my household is on board with my decision to turn our eating habits around! Just remember that you're doing this for YOU and your kids and keep thinking of those sweet little faces for motivation!

    I've got 100+ pounds to lose (I read your profile... mine's very similar!) and even though I've only lost about 3, I can't believe how much better I feel - that's worth it alone! If you need motivation, post here! Everyone's so supportive - it's like an electronic Weight Watchers meeting :happy:

    I had an ex-bf who used to practically force-feed me - guilt was his most common tactic. In the end, I don't think it was that he didn't want me to succeed, but rather that he didn't want to have to change his eating habits (or feel self-imposed guilt over them!) so he derailed me. Give your husband time to adjust, and try not to take his jabbing to heart... running & keeping up with your kids at the park will be worth it!
  • janellybelly
    janellybelly Posts: 112
    Options
    Just think...your gonna be healthy and HOT and he will feel like a heel! Keep up the good work...measure your way right down to your goal. You go girl!!! :flowerforyou:

    J
  • bkrbabe57
    bkrbabe57 Posts: 395 Member
    Options
    Some people are threatened by your attempts to improve yourself.
    It may be because he thinks that when you look and feel better you may realize that you could do better
    or it may be that with your sucesses it will show off his failures.
    All you can do is to continue to do what's best for you and reassure him that you still love him.
  • heatther
    heatther Posts: 227 Member
    Options
    I did that the other day with cereal and my fiancee just laught at me thinking I was cute!

    Don't get down, maybe he is just jelous! It is not like you are making him serve you or eat the portions you are! Just tell him this way there is more for him! Ha HA HA

    You can do it!
  • FitnHealthyGal
    FitnHealthyGal Posts: 20 Member
    Options
    I too have had family and friends be less than supportive at times.

    1) Your husband is probably a little scared to see you actually following through on something that you've set out to do. Him seeing you measuring your food out and taking your health seriously must have triggered something in him to make him say that. He sees that your changing and men in general aren't too fond of change.
    2) He doesn't understand how hard it is to make healthy changes and stick to them. He probably has no idea how important it is to follow the rules you've placed on yourself in order to conquer the changes you've set out to do! Especially in the beginning of the course of change. At this point he just can't comprehend the necessity of these changes. He'll come around!!
    3) He's probably also a little frustrated because he might think that he'll have to change too in order to keep up with you or have something in common with you.

    Despite the fact that he less than supportive right now, stay strong, keep doing what your are doing!! Since at the moment, the motivational speak isn't pouring in from your husband, maybe in special places around your house you could put up little quotes or inspirations that will mean something to you!!! My personal favorite is " Food will never taste as Good as Health Feels" Your perserverance will carry you through to your goals!!! :=)
  • Benson
    Benson Posts: 444
    Options
    I hear you! My husband went out and bought the skor bar for me he said the temptation would make me stronger and I should be able to resist. Is it any wonder I go 5 stps forward and 4 back Now I have strategies in place and I have noticed the "ripple effect" taking place in my home.(I HAVE NOTICED MY HUSBAND AND KIDS LOOKING UP NUTRITIONAL FACTS) I can refuse and I must refuse the treats!! My mother in law is a great one for bringing unhealthy sweets into our home whenever she knows I'm trying to be good But as it has been said many times we are doing this for ourselves and forever so obstacles are going to have to be dealt with. I find myself envious of those who have supportive spouses but I think mine will turn around in time.
  • pam0206
    pam0206 Posts: 700 Member
    Options
    Just do the best you can to let it roll off of your back. I told my husband when I started that I felt dumb for measuring my stuff, but HE never made me feel that way. So sorry that it's like that for you. He'll get over it and so will you, when the weight continues to come off. I think that he's probably feeling threatened. Maybe he needs some reassurance that you're still you, no matter what your weight. Afterall, it isn't (only) about how we look, but what we're doing for our health. :flowerforyou:
  • pete
    pete Posts: 76 Member
    Options
    Well it might take a bit of time for him to get it. Do not let his comments discourage you. My wife used to tell me that the problem was that i did not exercise enough and that counting calories didn't matter. I let her talk and kept on counting my calories. She has seen so much progress in my weight that, now she started to measure out her breakfast in the morning!

    So just let him grumble and do not be distracted or discouraged by it. Let him eat all he wants, if he wants to, but you stick to your plans. He may change his mind seeing your good results. Lead by example!

    good luck-
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
    Options
    I am sorry you had to deal with that. Mine tries to feed me sweets at night..... him and my son...ugh!
  • dani200299
    dani200299 Posts: 1
    Options
    :wink: Hello, I am Daniela and i am new to the community, I understand your feeling, my husband think that the calories counting is a bit wrong as well, however you have to do it for yourself and more impontantly your health.
  • catlover
    catlover Posts: 389
    Options
    This really sounds typical for someone not making a change along with you, and I wouldn't let it get to you too much. I don't drink anymore and a lot of my friends do. Occassionally they must think about it because they'll ask me, "Doesn't it bother you to be around me if I'm drinking?" :noway: I always say, "Not as much as it bothers you to be around me not drinking." :wink: Just do what you have to do for you, let him worry about himself. I have a friend who would like to lose weight and her hubby makes rude comments about it and sabatoges her every effort. She gives in after a couple of days and has no luck. I think he secretly likes things the way they are, and she gets something out of it also. LIke one pal said, don't try to take control of his habits though.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Options
    Well, I'm here to tell you counting calories does work. I've lost 13 pounds since January. It's still hard for me to believe I've actually lost 13 pounds!! You just keep doing what you're doing and pretty soon he's going to see a change in you. When you get discouraged you head for your computer and post to your MFP's. We've got your back.. :happy: Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:
  • jnkreis
    jnkreis Posts: 51 Member
    Options
    You're not alone, anytime that you need that extra little boost, jump on this website. I have been on for literally 5 minutes, and I'll tell you what, haven't seen a negative comment yet. Not only that, but try just saying something like, " I know that you love me no matter what, and I am probably being a little on the strict side of this, but it's only because I love you so much, and I want to make sure that I do everything that I can to make sure that I have a ton more time to love you as much as I do!" It just might work. Just stay positive, and you can do it!
  • kjllose
    kjllose Posts: 948 Member
    Options
    I can't say my husband was supportive when I started but he didn't try to sabotage me, he just shook his head when the measuring cups came out. Then when I bought a scale he sat up and took notice that this was going to be long term. Well 7 months into it I have a very happy husband who loves looking at his wife who lost 44 lbs so far. Stick with it girl, get where YOU want to be. No it won't be easy but stick to your plan. Come here and talk with us, we will give all the support you want and need.~Karen

Categories