Lost and gained it ALL back...trying to start from scratch i

Options
mercurybebe
mercurybebe Posts: 32
in Motivation and Support
I used this site to help me lose 24lbs from Feb-July of last year and it was fantastic. I started at 262, got down to 238 and was feeling SO PROUD of myself...I did it through diet alone since a back injury prohibits me from exercise.

Anyway, in July I was hospitalized with severe stomach problems and it turned out to be diverticulosis. I honestly could not eat anything. My stomach hurt non-stop, as did my gut and I was severely nauseous. To top it off, my favorite Aunt died of Lung Cancer and I was in deep mourning. Finally the doctors told me I had to eat ANYTHING that I could...milkshakes, ice cream, ANYTHING.

Bad thing to say to me I guess...I started to eat crap since it was the only thing that appealed to me and once my stomach issues were for the most part resolved (around mid-Sept) I just didn't stop. All my bad habits were back. And since I was the only one in my family who had been watching their diet, it was SO EASY to just fall back into eating what they had or going to restaurants and not being careful.

Then my 26yr old cousin died from sepsis after I spent 4 days with her after rushing her to the hospital, to ICU, etc, being her health care proxy until her mother arrived from TX. I can't even go into how traumatizing that was. Our family buried yet another beloved member only 3 months after my Aunt's death.

So I guess that sealed the deal...I didn't give a crap about me and grief enabled more and more eating. I knew I was gaining but didnt dare go near a scale.

Anyway....long story short, I bought a new scale last night and my weight is 263.8, 2 pounds HEAVIER than when I started last January. I am struggling with motivation, what is the point, I'm just gonna gain it back, blah blah blah...

But today I had a lean cuisine for lunch. I drank 2 cups of water. I am back here on this site. I logged my food and sadly, my weight. I am going to join Planet Fitness and do what I can despite the limits of my bad back.

I need some friends who have been through this and found the motivation to start from the beginning. Or perhaps you are just looking for the motivation too? Either way, I need to give and receive support to get back on track!!!

Replies

  • JoMcDonald
    JoMcDonald Posts: 44
    Options
    the important part, the key to it all, is that you're back on the site and starting over. Don't focus on the past, just where you are now and where you're heading.

    You know you can do it, you did it before - you can do it again :)
  • pglaf
    pglaf Posts: 257 Member
    Options
    I was 265 lbs at my heaviest and my very first step to losing weight was buying a brand new scale too and facing the hard reality of just how much I weighed.
    Now I'm 189 lbs and still have a ways to go (after putting some weight back on) but what matters is to be back at it, not giving up but continuing to push through.

    One thing that I find I have to remember is that we all have crap that goes on in our lives and around us but somehow we still need to make our health a priority. There will always be challenges but boy does it feel great to overcome them.

    Good luck to you!
    and stick with it!!!!!
  • MamaGLUe
    MamaGLUe Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    I am with you guys - last January I started low carb and managed to lose 16 lbs by July. Then my mom was seriously ill this summer, we moved to a new house, I've had some big job stress, all kinds of distractions. So it's January again and I"ve put about half that weight right back on! And I totally dropped out of the low carb habit and have to pick it up again. So frustrating.

    But hey I"m here now and trying again because that's all I can do is keep at it. My kids need me to be healthy, my partner needs me to be healthy, and hey I put a lot of $$ into new work clothes after I lost that weight so I better not eat my way out of that new wardrobe.

    Mercurybebe I'm impressed that with all you had going on, you didn't gain even more. That's way too much stress for one person to handle. I"m so sorry for your losses...

    There was a really depressing article by Tara Parker Pope in the Jan 1 New York Times magazine about how once you lose significant weight, your body compensates for quite a while. The hormones for hunger are more active and your metabolism ramps down and becomes more efficient so you are both hungrier and don't use as many calories as a person at the same weight who hasn't gone through big weight loss. I think there's really something to this. I try not to see it as a negative but more as a validation that yes, it is hard for me to stay at this new weight, and it's not about me.


    Anyway, kudos to all for being on this site and taking care of yourself!!!
  • mercurybebe
    mercurybebe Posts: 32
    Options
    Well its been over a year and I am at my heaviest. Sadly, I am 192lbs today. I was just diagnosed with mild congestive heart failure and if I DONT lose the weight and start exercising I will die. I am 38, I have 2 13yr old kids and just married my wife in Oct 2012. BUT I am back here, for the third time and I am trying...
  • ForMyAngelBaby
    ForMyAngelBaby Posts: 123 Member
    Options
    I've never had to deal with any life threatening conditions before, but I've lost weight and been on the right track only to gain it all back again. I've been at this since November and I think I'm finally getting to that place where it's going to be a lifelong thing for me. You can do this! Just remember that you've lost the weight once, which means you can do it again!
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,154 Member
    Options
    I've been there and it can be done. A few years ago, I tried to get everything in order, and lose weight. Went about it in a very unhealthy fashion, but managed to lose 70 lbs down to 185 lbs. Then I started eating again and gained it all back and then some. Losing my favorite aunt to respiratory complications was a big part of the weight gain. I was 285 lbs (40 lbs heavier than when I started) before I decided to do it right. It took a lot longer (it's been over a year now), but I am most of the way back while eating 3-4 times as many calories as before. Keep at it. You did it once, you can do it again.

Categories