My Journey of Failure :(

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chic_mama_25
chic_mama_25 Posts: 90
in Motivation and Support
I'm back at my highest weight ever (bar pregnancy). Now I am the same as in December 2010 (141lbs). Got down to 128 in March 2011 but put it all back on. Seriously I am so depressed. I thought I had been sensible over Christmas and I have been working out quite a bit. I am good with my diet most of the day then ruin it e.g by eating a large bag of chocolates. I hate myself and I feel like I will never be able to lose this weight.

Any advice on how to stay motivated and stay away from the chocolate would be great. I feel deprived if I don't have chocolate or something like that but then I don't have the willpower to just eat a little bit, I eat the whole lot.

ETA: I cycle to and from work, 16 miles a day that is and I do bikram yoga or go for a run on the weekend - so exercise is not the problem, it is FOOD. I quit smoking in March 2011 which might explain the gain, but that was like 9 months ago!

Replies

  • clemens24
    clemens24 Posts: 8 Member
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    hey for starters,,,I dont think that you are that overweight 141 is not too bad. im like 195 and im 5'7...but dont feel depressed. i went thru the same thing...we just gotta push ourselfs...but try zumba on xbox or wii....because you will lose weight without having to give up too food........im losing weight and i havent given anything up......so try that and let me know how that goes :)
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    Agreed - you dont have much to lose, so that takes a long time and is very hard to shift. So be realistic - dont expect to see a huge drop in weight quickly.

    Also, try to incorporate some strength training into your workouts.

    Chocolate cravings - some drinking chocolate made with low fat milk? My favourite when I need a choc fix is the dark chocolate flavour soya dessert, eaten with a small spoon so I savour every bite.
  • Byn73
    Byn73 Posts: 20
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    Dont give up, you need to work out a plan that works for you. If you want chocolate every day, than have some. If you have a just a little each day, you may not feel so deprived and knowing that you can have more tomorrow might help. I believe that we should not have to give up the foods we love, we just have to reduce the amount we have. All the best:smile:
  • shakybabe
    shakybabe Posts: 1,578 Member
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    the chocolate snack-a-jacks have a very chocolatey taste, the big ones are quite a mouthful if you munch on one slowly, maybe have some apple slices at the same time or a tangerine/orange so you get the chocolate orange combination... then its not just about the chocolate but enjoying the whole snack.

    I also put small handful of coco pops mixed in with my rice krispies so I get the chocolate taste but not as much sugar and calories as a whole bowl of just coco pops.

    Cadbury's drinking chocolate (with milk - makes me feel fuller than water based ones) too is a favourite for night time cravings, if you getting them really bad try combining a choc chip snack-a-jack with a hot choc drink, still less calories than an entire bar of chocolate.

    Chromium is meant to help with cravings by helping your estrogen and cortisol levels which get raised week before TOTM in anticipation of your monthly cycle
  • jbenton091011
    jbenton091011 Posts: 99
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    I too have been where you are. As I bet hundreds and thousands of others. At least you're out there trying to find the answer and doing your best to get there!

    I suffer the exact problem. Exercise is no problem for me. Sometimes I was at the gym twice a day. My biggest problem is food. And notably, ANY food. Invariably over eating is associated with emotional eating. So, give yourself an emotional health check and look into what's up. Perhaps there's a void in your life which you're trying to fill with food. Or there's something stressful in your life which leads you to using food as a tranquilliser. Food is great and if eaten properly and within reason can be so enjoyable. But if you're experiencing bouts of guilt, discomfort or depression after you've eaten something, then you're most likely an emotional eater.

    I've been addressing whatever problems I may have with myself or with others and this has significantly helped me to get over the hurdle of using food as a means of gaining some form of control in my life. I've also taken a far more realistic approach to eating and exercising. As mentioned I used to go to the gym twice a day. This also gave me the excuse of eating more. Eating is good, but not at the price of exhausting yourself physically. I now limit myself to once a day for 35 minutes. I then stick to my calories and I eat back my exercise calories. I factor into my daily allowance a treat of sorts. At present I'm working through some of my mince pies that I didn't manage to scoff down at christmas. Once they're gone, I'll factor in my next treat. Fill out your food diary. I noticed that a lot of your diary is empty. It's such a helpful tool and if you plan your chocolate snack before you actually consume it, you're more likely to control how much you eat.

    I have just restarted my journey. At my lowest I was 130lbs. I'm currently at 153lbs (my highest). I've reset my goals and I've started by taking my final goal and implementing minor goals in between. I know exactly how you feel.

    I really hope you find what you're looking for over here and that you find the way to stop hating yourself.

    xx
  • crunchybubblez
    crunchybubblez Posts: 387 Member
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    Maybe you could eat a Cliff bar instead?
  • ImaLadyBiker
    ImaLadyBiker Posts: 28
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    I found this on Facebook: "Remember: Weight-loss is found in the kitchen. Don't be silly. A bar isn't just a bar. A piece of cake isn't only a piece of cake. Every little thing counts. What is eaten in private is worn in public. This doesn't mean it's starvation time. It means it's time to stop kidding yourself. Tough-love is what you need. Put down the chocolate. Pick up the fruit. Green tea. Water. Veg. Salad. Pig out on that (only you won't because good food makes you feel full.) It is so easy to let yourself go. But don't. Start now or else in a month you'll wonder why you didn't start a month ago."

    POW! [gulp]

    Food is the best leverage we have against excess weight. There are not enough hours in the day to exercise off a piece of Cheesecake Factory cheesecake.

    You have only failed if you quit trying. Professional basketball players miss more shots than the make, but they keep shooting. Track every morsel and be fearless about it. Don't fear the "empty" feeling that comes before true hunger. Hang in there!!!
  • chic_mama_25
    chic_mama_25 Posts: 90
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    Thanks to everyone who replied.. I guess it is getting over the instant gratification temptation of eating loads of chocolate. I am going to try and fill myself up with healthy food first and then try sweet yoghurt instead.. I think I have a self-control problem with biscuits and chocolate so I'm going to try and avoid them altogether if I can...

    Re exercise, I burn 700 cals a day cycling to work and back, but I feel like I need to start wearing my HRM again as I have got fitter I feel like it might be less than that so I might be eating too much?

    I looked at my graph again and you can see the gains started again in March 2011 exactly when I quit smoking! I had consistently lost weight up to that point and it is almost a straight line from 128 then back up to 141 now. So maybe it is not all my fault for being greedy but rather replacing cigarettes with food. I mean, I knew that. But how to overcome using food as a 'treat'?
  • sonjawi
    sonjawi Posts: 46
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    Did you know that Twizzlers come now in Hershey's chocolate as well? It's still not healthy but cuts out the fat.
    If you have to indulge in real chocolate, maybe you can modify your taste slowly to the dark, high cocoa type of chocolate. Its higher in antioxidants and the rich taste makes it hard to down a whole huge box of it.

    I don't eat much chocolate, but if I do, I tend to go for the good stuff (Lindt :) ). I only need a little nip to get over the craving.
  • sonjawi
    sonjawi Posts: 46
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    I looked at my graph again and you can see the gains started again in March 2011 exactly when I quit smoking! I had consistently lost weight up to that point and it is almost a straight line from 128 then back up to 141 now. So maybe it is not all my fault for being greedy but rather replacing cigarettes with food. I mean, I knew that. But how to overcome using food as a 'treat'?

    That is what I struggle with as well. Gave up smoking 2 months ago, and cutting now out the "bad stuff" feels like quitting smoking all over again *lol* I got moody, anxious, and generally hard being around. Probably not a smart idea to start a big change right after getting through with the non smoking, but I did not want to wait for the weight to accumulate after quitting smoking.

    I would say the secret is the same as with quitting smoking: one day at a time, and after a few days, it gets easier. I am more than 10 days in and really don't feel anymore as if I deprive myself when I walk away from the 2nd cookie. I am not strong enough to eat an apple instead of the cookie yet, but with time, that will come. Any lifestyle and behaviour change is a long term goal...so tiny steps add up, in the long run.
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    The hand to mouth action habit is often the biggest culprit and if you feel this is your problem try having something on hand to deal with that, veggie sticks, sugar free lollies etc so when you are doing the hand to mouth habit at least it not loads of calories going in.

    You then break the hand to mouth habit by taking up a 2 handed hobby, I knitted so many scarves when I quit I literally ran out of people to give them to!!

    Well done on quitting, its the bigger of the 2 evils and if you can do that you can shift the pounds too
  • ImaLadyBiker
    ImaLadyBiker Posts: 28
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    Thanks to everyone who replied.. I guess it is getting over the instant gratification temptation of eating loads of chocolate. I am going to try and fill myself up with healthy food first and then try sweet yoghurt instead.. I think I have a self-control problem with biscuits and chocolate so I'm going to try and avoid them altogether if I can...

    But how to overcome using food as a 'treat'?

    There are certain foods that I know will trigger, if not a binge, an overpowering desire to binge. For me, I can't have "just a little." It's like being a little bit pregnant.... It's important for me to identify FOR MYSELF what those are. Biscuits, pasta, and gravy are three. Anything with sugar is another entire group... I've tried it, just to check it out. First it's a little taste, then it becomes and obsession to FINISH whatever it is. Great Value Tropical Trail Mix is my kryptonite. So are those Emerald Cocoa Almonds.

    But I will pop myself some popcorn as a treat. Or I will have a fruit smoothie with yogurt, frozen fruit and some soy milk with flax seed. If I'm going to blow up my calorie count, I try to make it be nourishing food.

    I see a beautiful child in your pic... Teaching your child/ren the importance of eating well and not smoking is NOT a failure. :heart: You're a mommy, and if someone talked to YOUR CHILD the way you talk to YOURSELF, you'd be clawing their eyes out. Be kind to you....
  • busey
    busey Posts: 39 Member
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    I myself looooooooove chocolate! However we can't eat a whole bag of chocolate so I have found if you are in need of a fix I have bought chocolate protein bars. I have eaten a whole one and have found that the fibre in them makes me so full that I would be satisfied for hours. So perhaps try a half bar and if that doesn't satisfies you then have a whole one......At least with a protein bar you get the benefits of some extra protein.

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