Help with weight lifting?

There's a popular book called "New Rules of Lifting for Women" or something like that. I don't have it yet but I would like it. I have recently started lifting in a gym with a semi-personal trainer included. If you send me a friend request you will be able to see my diary- I have logged what he's had me do over the last 3 weeks. Obviously that's ME, not you, but it would at least give you some idea...

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I've been seeing alot about how good heavy lifting is for women and building muscle while losing weight.
So my question is what should I be doing and aiming for? My husband has a basic weight bench with weights ranging from 3-50lbs.
I was able to lift about 23lbs 50 reps with breaks the other night.
I don't want to be "skinny" but rather lean and sexy lol
Any suggestions on what I should be doing?
Thanks

That's a tough question to just answer, and here is a great article that should get you started.
GOOD LUCK

The Best Strength Training for Women
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/weight-loss/weight-training-tips

Read 'New Rules of Weight Lifting for Women'
Then lift like a man because you aren't going to get anything but lean and sexy.

^^^^
That.

Don't be afraid of heavy weight. It is really hard for women to gain muscle, and even harder to do that without trying. It won't happen on a calorie deficit. I am on a calorie deficit but eating to maintain as much muscle mass as possible and lifting heavy - I am not getting "bulky" at all.

I'm old school I guess. I'm sure the recommended books are great, but it's quite simple. Work on proper form with no weight first, then begin to challenge yourself, lifting 1-2 warm up sets and 3-5 working sets for 8-12 rep will get that muscle on you. Lifting 4-5 sets for 5 rep of really heavy a** weight will build strength and of course muscle, but that rep range is going to make you stronger.....you need both, even days where your rep range is 12-20 is beneficial for endurance. the key is FORM FORM FORM! if let's say you're lifting for 12 rep, by rep 8-9 it should be taxing, almost struggling for those last 2-3 rep, that's how you know the weight is appropriate, if doing 5 rep for strength, rep 3 should be your peak. If you ever complete your set and feel like you can keep going...up that weight!

I do weights in my workouts nearly all the time. The woman in my family have a history of Osteoporosis (low bone density), and I don't want to end up being a hunched over brittle old lady, and lifting weights can help with women's bone density.
The best thing is to start off with small weights, then build on that. I started off with small weights, then each time I increased the weight. With chest press I started off with 6kg (around 13lb) dumbells, 3 sets of 12-15 reps and I'm now up to 15 kgs (around 35lbs). If I can do 3 sets of 12 reps, then I know I need to increase the weight. It hurts, but definitely worth the results!

Also, read nerdfitess.com. All of it. But esp this:

http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

I am using new rules now and love it. Previously I used body for life. Loved that too. I need the guidance of a program and can't afford a trainer.

For body sculpting, low sets and high reps are good. Like 100 reps can be a great gut buster! The websites people have mentioned are great.

Check out stronglifts 5x5 for some free info. It's about the same as starting strength. I think it has a lot of good info on where to start for a beginner. I pretty much agree with chicklidell, and who can argue with those results. You will need a decent gym with olympic wts, bench and squat rack. Before you start, read as much as you can and watch a bunch of vids for proper form. Practice without wts will pay divedends in the end.