Looking for quick weight loss?

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_David_
_David_ Posts: 476 Member
in Chit-Chat
Here is the annswer to all your questions on FAST weight loss
The Amputation Diet!
Procedure Estimated Immediate Weight Loss
Clip finger and toenails 1 ounce maximum
Haircut 2-6 ounces
Drastic Haircut / Headshave 4-12 ounces
Trim Body Hair 1 oz. (ladies) 3 oz. (men) 24 lbs (Greek men)
Remove a wart 1 oz.
Take a diuretic 1-3 pounds (temporary)
Take a laxative 1-2 pounds (temporary)
Colon Therapy / Take an Enema 2-3 pounds (temporary)
Poop 0-2 pounds (temporary)
Run a marathon on a hot day 3 lbs (women), 5 lbs (men) (temporary)
Amputate your arm 10-25 lbs (way too permanent)
Amputate your leg 15-45 lbs (again, not advised)
Vascetomy none.
Take a big pee. up to 1.5 pounds
Take a big dump up to 2.5 pounds
Go barefoot 1-2 pounds
Go Naked 1-8 pounds (summer vs. winter)
Contact lenses vs. Glasses 0.3 pounds
No liquids all day 1-2 pounds
No food all day 2-3 pounds
No salt all day 0-1 pound
Don't wear underwear 1 oz. (thong)-2 lbs. (granny panties)
Exfoliating face wash nothin.
Liposuction 10 lbs maximum per surgery
Donate a kidney 3 pounds.
Breast Reduction Surgery 5-15 pounds typically.

Replies

  • megansalt
    megansalt Posts: 7 Member
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    Lol! That was good.
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
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    Haha, I was asked earlier this week if I'd had a breast reduction with my weight loss, lol. I laughed and said no, thank god, that a lot of what I have left is thanks to Victoria Secret!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,719 Member
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    LMAO! Amputation is permanent weight loss!!!

    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • thecountofcrisco
    thecountofcrisco Posts: 5
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    Lol, I think I'll stick to a less extreme approach.
  • Aussiefirebird02
    Aussiefirebird02 Posts: 4
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    LMAO...gold!!!
  • PanteraGirl
    PanteraGirl Posts: 566 Member
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    *cheers*:drinker:
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
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    Please have this in your queue for all the "help! I need to lose an ungodly amount of weight in a ridiculously short amount of time for a random event on the calendar where I just have to show them!" threads. Groundhog Day is coming, people!
  • traceracer
    traceracer Posts: 303 Member
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    Lol!! Hmmm..... never looked into amputation before. Ill save it for my last straw:)

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