Question for the men...

rosemarymint
rosemarymint Posts: 132 Member
edited September 19 in Chit-Chat
Or ladies if you want to chime in.

There is a man at work that I've been thinking about asking if he wants to get together outside of work to hang out. Grab a beer, shoot some pool kind of thing. I am interested only in a friendly thing. We seem to have some things in common, and when we do have short conversations, they are good ones. I almost positive that he is in between girlfriends at the moment (otherwise I wouldn't even consider it). Like I said, just a friendly thing...

My question is... How do I say something without him getting the wrong idea? Or is it a bad idea in the first place?

Replies

  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    Hey

    I'll chime in.....
    I don't consider myself old fashion and maybe I'm putting too much pressure on the boys here, but I would wait for him to ask ME out
    I would chat with him, be very friendly, even mildly flirty, but I think if HE was interested in getting to know you better (on any level) that he should do the asking
    Sorry, but just my .02...very curious to see what the boys here have to say!

    Good luck!
    Kim
  • naugustyniak
    naugustyniak Posts: 836 Member
    Okay I am gonna chime in also. Don't do it. Hanging out with a coworker of the opposite sex is not a good idea even if you just want to be friends. If he gets the wrong idea or things go badly, do you really want to see that person every day at work.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • cediyam
    cediyam Posts: 181 Member
    another girl chiming in. if you are only interested in a friendly thing make it a work or office event. then during the outing find an opportunity to chat with him. hope this helps.
  • kenne
    kenne Posts: 13
    Hey

    I'll chime in.....
    I don't consider myself old fashion and maybe I'm putting too much pressure on the boys here, but I would wait for him to ask ME out
    I would chat with him, be very friendly, even mildly flirty, but I think if HE was interested in getting to know you better (on any level) that he should do the asking
    Sorry, but just my .02...very curious to see what the boys here have to say!

    Good luck!
    Kim

    I agree with Kim.


    I agree. Nothing wrong with making sure he knows where everyone is meeting for happy hour though.
    That can't be good, can it?

    Well, I agree with Kim.
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    Hey

    I'll chime in.....
    I don't consider myself old fashion and maybe I'm putting too much pressure on the boys here, but I would wait for him to ask ME out
    I would chat with him, be very friendly, even mildly flirty, but I think if HE was interested in getting to know you better (on any level) that he should do the asking
    Sorry, but just my .02...very curious to see what the boys here have to say!

    Good luck!
    Kim

    I agree with Kim.

    That can't be good, can it?

    Well, I agree with Kim.

    Awwwwww...Max u do :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: me
    Just admit that I am smarter and everything will work out O.K.

    W/ out being too harsh...I just have to ask u, if u are being honest with yourself about what you may want out of this relationship (maybe u don't know?)
    You say you're just interested 'as a friend' but you have a lot in common and he is in between gf?
    I think if a girl were to ask a guy out...he would automatically think she was interested in more than a friendship..am I wrong boys?
  • skillz
    skillz Posts: 5
    Be up front and honest, Thats what I would like. If I worked with a lady and she asked me to go to a bar I would assume she was interested in me, in some way. So if you lay the rules out in the beginning there is no room for assumtion. Then you can build what ever kind of relationship is possible for the two of you.

    Good Luck
    Keith

    AKA Skillz
  • IUChelle423
    IUChelle423 Posts: 197
    Another female chiming in (we just love to give advice - don't we?). I think you should make it a group thing (either a work/office event like cediyam said or just with a group of friends). Saying "Hey, my friends and I are going to [fill in the blank] - would you like to come along?" is very different from "Would you like to grab a beer sometime?"
  • FalconSays
    FalconSays Posts: 62
    I agree with the overall tone of the replies. I would say don't even go there with a ten foot pole.
    Even tho you state "just friendly", it can get complicated (men are from mars!) and you don't need
    any drama at work, even the slightest misinterpreted tone around work can be hurtful.

    Just admire him in your heart and mind and visit w/him as a friend. There's nothing time can hurt.
    In time, maybe he'll see just what an awesome chic is right in front of him and he may want to hang
    out with you. . . . .cross that bridge later, (my oppinion)

    ♥Karen
  • stef_e_b
    stef_e_b Posts: 593
    I like the ideas about going out with a group. Friendship is important, and sometimes its easier to get along with men. However, you don't want him to get the wrong impression, its a tricky situation.
  • czewwhat
    czewwhat Posts: 8,715
    I agree with Kim, but nothing wrong with including everyone in the office! Bake a big batch of cookies, wrap and gift them to everyone, giving some to each person in the office. Smile and say you thought he might like some too. period. Nothing wrong with friendly sweets!

    Personal relationships at work can get hairy, unless you are planning to change jobs!
  • rosemarymint
    rosemarymint Posts: 132 Member
    Thanks for all the input. Maybe I would at some point be interested in more than friendship...but I guess I need to have the friendship first to know. I already knew the "work" thing is no good, I just needed for someone else to say it too, you know? Kind of like giving my head some back up. I will eventually be changing jobs...when I'm done with school...hopefully. No harm until waiting for that time to come, then rethinking it!

    Thanks my fellow MFP'ers
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    I agree with Kim, but nothing wrong with including everyone in the office! Bake a big batch of cookies, wrap and gift them to everyone, giving some to each person in the office. Smile and say you thought he might like some too. period. Nothing wrong with friendly sweets!

    Personal relationships at work can get hairy, unless you are planning to change jobs!

    cookies, Momma? jeez- :huh:
  • czewwhat
    czewwhat Posts: 8,715
    I agree with Kim, but nothing wrong with including everyone in the office! Bake a big batch of cookies, wrap and gift them to everyone, giving some to each person in the office. Smile and say you thought he might like some too. period. Nothing wrong with friendly sweets!

    Personal relationships at work can get hairy, unless you are planning to change jobs!

    cookies, Momma? jeez- :huh:

    what is wrong with sweets?
This discussion has been closed.

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