I miss being in love

Fashionista012
Fashionista012 Posts: 51 Member
edited October 7 in Chit-Chat
After my divorce, I was so happy to be free and no one nagging at me and no responsibilities etc..I think I actually subconsciously put on weight so I don't have to deal with another relationship, that's how fed u I was. But now I miss it...I miss laying on a guys lap watching a movie, or when someone really kisses you even on the cheek, when they squeeze you just because you are sitting next to them, or that feeling of wanting to get home from work so badly because you know you will see your honey. Or knowing friday night you have plans, just a matter of "so what should we do this weekend?" I know right now I am in no shape to have a relationship, but when I do get there probably (and I know I will!!!) Where can I meet guys at my age??? I have no single friends left. any one else feel the way I do? I just need something to look forward to...:(

Replies

  • Iamkim73
    Iamkim73 Posts: 924 Member
    First, I love the big red mark on the ex.

    Second, It sucks after a divorce!

    From my own experience: The best thing you can do is to focus on finding what makes you happy not who make you happy. Self fulfilled confident people are the most attractive and don't forget beauty comes in all sizes. Don't dwell on being alone it will make life miserable. With that being said, being alone does have its momentsof, "this just sucks".

    Keep your eyes open, you can meet guys places you least expect it.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Those are things everyone yearns for,it it normal so don`t feel alone.

    As far as being in shape to have a relationship don`t let your body control your mind like that if you can.
    Work to lose the 100 that your name indicates but you need to believe in yourself and your future now too.
    A relationship is with the person that you are not just the appearance so let the inner beauty show.
    Maybe you will see the outer person isn`t so bad either.
  • Iamkim73
    Iamkim73 Posts: 924 Member
    Those are things everyone yearns for,it it normal so don`t feel alone.

    As far as being in shape to have a relationship don`t let your body control your mind like that if you can.
    Work to lose the 100 that your name indicates but you need to believe in yourself and your future now too.
    A relationship is with the person that you are not just the appearance so let the inner beauty show.
    Maybe you will see the outer person isn`t so bad either.

    Ya what he said!
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    Uh yup... what Carl said.

    ((hugs)) to you my dear.
  • Fashionista012
    Fashionista012 Posts: 51 Member
    thanks guys!!
  • stevwil41
    stevwil41 Posts: 608 Member
    I also go with the idea of being happy with yourself and that the rest will take care of itself eventually. Your size shouldn't dictate whether you can have a relationship or not.
  • Maggieq87
    Maggieq87 Posts: 400 Member
    You can find a man while overweight! Just because you're heavy does not make you unlovable, it's not who you are!! I miss all those things too. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
  • flsunshine
    flsunshine Posts: 188 Member
    even though it may get lonely focus on you and good things will happen- i spent 3 1/2 years in a really bad realationship and after the break up i felt happy and free and as a result i had to change my expectations of not only myself but my future partner and with that note- i found a guy i can picture growing old with
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
    I've been there. I've been alone for many years with my 2 kids, and this time gave me the opportunity, not to think of what I wanted or expected from a relationship, but more of what I didn't wanted. And that also gave me time to do a cleanup in my life. And at lunch, at work, a coworker gave me a 5 page letter... coming from somebody I would have never expected. We've been together for 7 years now. So it often comes to you, when you don't expect it, and from somebody you would have never thought! Take this time for yourself.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    With all this extra free time, just imagine all the sammich making practice you could get!!
  • Fashionista012
    Fashionista012 Posts: 51 Member
    You can find a man while overweight! Just because you're heavy does not make you unlovable, it's not who you are!! I miss all those things too. Try not to be so hard on yourself.


    thanks...but that leaves probably 5 men who don't mind overweight women. Usually I understand if someone is friends with someone who is overweight and they fall in love, but from my experience it is extremely rare that a man gets attracted to an overweight woman...let's be honest. It stinks but its true..:(
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    I can totally relate to this. I have not had a serious relationship in 8 years, since I broke up with my fiance. Before last night I had not had a date, or anyone I was really interested in, in nearly 2 years. I miss all the things you said...just the companionship.

    I don't have any good advice unfortunately, but I do understand how you feel.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I'm going through a divorce and although I am not experiencing exactly what you are, I'm do feel the loss of certain things.

    YET... I rather be lonely or bored than to be miserable and unfulfilled with someone. All those things you list are nice and all and like you said, one day you (and I) will have them. I'm not ready to seriously date either but I have been meeting guys here and there. Instead of focusing on the love and relationship type of fun, I'm enjoying just meeting new people. The rush of it, the smiles, the flirty looks, etc. It's a whole new world out there. Take it a day at a time. Try not to think about the things you DON'T have and instead focus on what you DO have like freedom, a new beginning, etc etc.
  • skierxjes
    skierxjes Posts: 926 Member
    You can find a man while overweight! Just because you're heavy does not make you unlovable, it's not who you are!! I miss all those things too. Try not to be so hard on yourself.


    thanks...but that leaves probably 5 men who don't mind overweight women. Usually I understand if someone is friends with someone who is overweight and they fall in love, but from my experience it is extremely rare that a man gets attracted to an overweight woman...let's be honest. It stinks but its true..:(

    There are a LOT more guys out there that like their woman to NOT look like a 12 year old boy. I'm sorry, but you're wrong that it's rare for a man to instantly be attracted to a larger lady.
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
    You can find a man while overweight! Just because you're heavy does not make you unlovable, it's not who you are!! I miss all those things too. Try not to be so hard on yourself.


    thanks...but that leaves probably 5 men who don't mind overweight women. Usually I understand if someone is friends with someone who is overweight and they fall in love, but from my experience it is extremely rare that a man gets attracted to an overweight woman...let's be honest. It stinks but its true..:(

    You look like a beautiful women, and I'm sure a few single people around you noticed it. They are just to shy to say it, or afraid of what people will say. You will probably discover who they are, not when you'll lost the pounds that you want, but when you'll be more confident in yourself. So hang in there, and think of you. I'm giving you a big "remote" hug. :happy:
  • greekbellydancer
    greekbellydancer Posts: 22
    YES, I LOVE WHAT MAGGIE SAID............:)
  • Fashionista012
    Fashionista012 Posts: 51 Member
    You can find a man while overweight! Just because you're heavy does not make you unlovable, it's not who you are!! I miss all those things too. Try not to be so hard on yourself.


    thanks...but that leaves probably 5 men who don't mind overweight women. Usually I understand if someone is friends with someone who is overweight and they fall in love, but from my experience it is extremely rare that a man gets attracted to an overweight woman...let's be honest. It stinks but its true..:(

    There are a LOT more guys out there that like their woman to NOT look like a 12 year old boy. I'm sorry, but you're wrong that it's rare for a man to instantly be attracted to a larger lady.

    where oh where? I am pretty sure they are not hiding in Manhattan. :) but thanks for all the great advice. I will take time for myself. It just seems so very very far away.
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member

    where oh where? I am pretty sure they are not hiding in Manhattan. :) but thanks for all the great advice. I will take time for myself. It just seems so very very far away.

    You never know when love will strike you :happy: And you could be surprise to see from who it will be coming from! Just be prepare for anything, and hang in there! Don't give up, neither on love or on fitness! And don't forget that we'll be right here for you! :drinker: And when it happens, don't forget to let us know! :wink:
  • Fashionista012
    Fashionista012 Posts: 51 Member

    where oh where? I am pretty sure they are not hiding in Manhattan. :) but thanks for all the great advice. I will take time for myself. It just seems so very very far away.

    You never know when love will strike you :happy: And you could be surprise to see from who it will be coming from! Just be prepare for anything, and hang in there! Don't give up, neither on love or on fitness! And don't forget that we'll be right here for you! :drinker: And when it happens, don't forget to let us know! :wink:

    you're the best!! made me smile so much. thank you :smile:
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
    After my divorce, I was so happy to be free and no one nagging at me and no responsibilities etc..I think I actually subconsciously put on weight so I don't have to deal with another relationship, that's how fed u I was. But now I miss it...I miss laying on a guys lap watching a movie, or when someone really kisses you even on the cheek, when they squeeze you just because you are sitting next to them, or that feeling of wanting to get home from work so badly because you know you will see your honey. Or knowing friday night you have plans, just a matter of "so what should we do this weekend?" I know right now I am in no shape to have a relationship, but when I do get there probably (and I know I will!!!) Where can I meet guys at my age??? I have no single friends left. any one else feel the way I do? I just need something to look forward to...:(

    I can totally relate to this. I have no single friends, I am not the type to pick up women at the bar, and online dating just blows. It really just shreds your self image.

    I recently met someone really special when I wasn't even looking. She makes me smile like no one ever has before and I think there's tons of potential for a very complete, happy, and loving relationship between the two of us. So my advice is just focus on what makes you happy and if someone special comes along go with it, otherwise do it when you're ready.
  • FiremanSam111
    FiremanSam111 Posts: 118
    I went through a painful separation last year. Thought I was unloveable etc. and I missed all those things you mentioned. I hated waking up alone, I missed physical intimacy (read 'sex') and mental comfort. I missed talking to someone. So eventually i stopped looking for it. Guess what? You don't find love, it finds you. Be yourself, be happy, and it will find you. I stopped looking 6 weeks ago, and have never felt better. Then, BAM! Fell in love :heart: Very unexpected... Guess where I found my dream girl? Right here on mfp. Good luck, you will get there.
  • skierxjes
    skierxjes Posts: 926 Member
    You can find a man while overweight! Just because you're heavy does not make you unlovable, it's not who you are!! I miss all those things too. Try not to be so hard on yourself.


    thanks...but that leaves probably 5 men who don't mind overweight women. Usually I understand if someone is friends with someone who is overweight and they fall in love, but from my experience it is extremely rare that a man gets attracted to an overweight woman...let's be honest. It stinks but its true..:(

    There are a LOT more guys out there that like their woman to NOT look like a 12 year old boy. I'm sorry, but you're wrong that it's rare for a man to instantly be attracted to a larger lady.

    where oh where? I am pretty sure they are not hiding in Manhattan. :) but thanks for all the great advice. I will take time for myself. It just seems so very very far away.

    I feel like my reply came off as *****y haha didn't mean it to at all. Really though, you're a beautiful woman. I've been a chunk all of my life and have never had trouble getting a man. Believe me, I still feel awkward with my current beau because he's got like a 28'' waist.. then you've got me. haha Don't worry! They're out there! :)
  • Fashionista012
    Fashionista012 Posts: 51 Member
    I went through a painful separation last year. Thought I was unloveable etc. and I missed all those things you mentioned. I hated waking up alone, I missed physical intimacy (read 'sex') and mental comfort. I missed talking to someone. So eventually i stopped looking for it. Guess what? You don't find love, it finds you. Be yourself, be happy, and it will find you. I stopped looking 6 weeks ago, and have never felt better. Then, BAM! Fell in love :heart: Very unexpected... Guess where I found my dream girl? Right here on mfp. Good luck, you will get there.

    amazing!! thank u and good luck!
  • Fashionista012
    Fashionista012 Posts: 51 Member
    After my divorce, I was so happy to be free and no one nagging at me and no responsibilities etc..I think I actually subconsciously put on weight so I don't have to deal with another relationship, that's how fed u I was. But now I miss it...I miss laying on a guys lap watching a movie, or when someone really kisses you even on the cheek, when they squeeze you just because you are sitting next to them, or that feeling of wanting to get home from work so badly because you know you will see your honey. Or knowing friday night you have plans, just a matter of "so what should we do this weekend?" I know right now I am in no shape to have a relationship, but when I do get there probably (and I know I will!!!) Where can I meet guys at my age??? I have no single friends left. any one else feel the way I do? I just need something to look forward to...:(

    I can totally relate to this. I have no single friends, I am not the type to pick up women at the bar, and online dating just blows. It really just shreds your self image.

    I recently met someone really special when I wasn't even looking. She makes me smile like no one ever has before and I think there's tons of potential for a very complete, happy, and loving relationship between the two of us. So my advice is just focus on what makes you happy and if someone special comes along go with it, otherwise do it when you're ready.

    thank you and good luck! :)
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    You can find a man while overweight! Just because you're heavy does not make you unlovable, it's not who you are!! I miss all those things too. Try not to be so hard on yourself.


    thanks...but that leaves probably 5 men who don't mind overweight women. Usually I understand if someone is friends with someone who is overweight and they fall in love, but from my experience it is extremely rare that a man gets attracted to an overweight woman...let's be honest. It stinks but its true..:(

    If there's one good thing about being overweight or obese, is that you will get to know who are the real ones who love you for who you are. When I was still obese, I had a fair share of men attracted to me including my fiance (who by the way I met 21 kgs. ago) but now that I'm in shape, I see many men staring at me & some likes to flirt around. These are the men who used to ignore me when I was fat. However I appreciated much those who were with me when I was still fat.

    Thing is don't settle for anyone who are too shallow enough. They don't deserve your time & love.
  • Fashionista012
    Fashionista012 Posts: 51 Member
    You can find a man while overweight! Just because you're heavy does not make you unlovable, it's not who you are!! I miss all those things too. Try not to be so hard on yourself.


    thanks...but that leaves probably 5 men who don't mind overweight women. Usually I understand if someone is friends with someone who is overweight and they fall in love, but from my experience it is extremely rare that a man gets attracted to an overweight woman...let's be honest. It stinks but its true..:(


    If there's one good thing about being overweight or obese, is that you will get to know who are the real ones who love you for who you are. When I was still obese, I had a fair share of men attracted to me including my fiance (who by the way I met 21 kgs. ago) but now that I'm in shape, I see many men staring at me & some likes to flirt around. These are the men who used to ignore me when I was fat. However I appreciated much those who were with me when I was still fat.

    Thing is don't settle for anyone who are too shallow enough. They don't deserve your time & love.

    thank you and you are an inspiration!
  • Iamkim73
    Iamkim73 Posts: 924 Member
    I went through a painful separation last year. Thought I was unloveable etc. and I missed all those things you mentioned. I hated waking up alone, I missed physical intimacy (read 'sex') and mental comfort. I missed talking to someone. So eventually i stopped looking for it. Guess what? You don't find love, it finds you. Be yourself, be happy, and it will find you. I stopped looking 6 weeks ago, and have never felt better. Then, BAM! Fell in love :heart: Very unexpected... Guess where I found my dream girl? Right here on mfp. Good luck, you will get there.
    this was so sweet..
This discussion has been closed.

Categories