Any one else with a history of mental health problems?

lyssamichelle
lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
edited October 7 in Chit-Chat
I have a very long list, actually. It makes this weight loss thing a lot harder. I try to be as pleasant as I possibly can. I put everyone else's needs before my own. I can't handle my own emotions. My anxiety is at an all time high. It's very hard for me to talk to strangers.. I mean it did take a year for me to actually use this website lol.
Just seems like it would be nice to share stories of our problems & how we've learned to deal...
Like a free therapy session. (:
If no one's interested that's fine.
My story:
My father is an alcoholic. He's also bipolar & has ADHD. I am exactly like him. I've always felt different. That scared me senseless. I can remember moving to this school, I was in 4th grade. I was bullied. In 5th grade, a girl called me retarded. We went up to stamp our papers, she was handing me the stamp.. I didn't notice. My mind froze. I felt horrible. Like I was a freak.. I've always had moments where my mind seemed to stand still while life moved on around me. My parents separated when I was about 8. That's when I started gaining weight. I don't remember much of my life. There are so many black holes in my memory. My thoughts move to fast to jot down. Probably why everything has always been so locked away in my head. I have ADHD. I'm bipolar. I have depression. I have anxiety. I'm addicted to cigarettes. I'm probably an alcoholic. I go in soon to this therapist, so she'll give me a new diagnosis.
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Replies

  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    I have a very long list, actually. It makes this weight loss thing a lot harder. I try to be as pleasant as I possibly can. I put everyone else's needs before my own. I can't handle my own emotions. My anxiety is at an all time high. It's very hard for me to talk to strangers.. I mean it did take a year for me to actually use this website lol.
    Just seems like it would be nice to share stories of our problems & how we've learned to deal...
    Like a free therapy session. (:
    If no one's interested that's fine.
    My story:
    My father is an alcoholic. He's also bipolar & has ADHD. I am exactly like him. I've always felt different. That scared me senseless. I can remember moving to this school, I was in 4th grade. I was bullied. In 5th grade, a girl called me retarded. We went up to stamp our papers, she was handing me the stamp.. I didn't notice. My mind froze. I felt horrible. Like I was a freak.. I've always had moments where my mind seemed to stand still while life moved on around me. My parents separated when I was about 8. That's when I started gaining weight. I don't remember much of my life. There are so many black holes in my memory. My thoughts move to fast to jot down. Probably why everything has always been so locked away in my head. I have ADHD. I'm bipolar. I have depression. I have anxiety. I'm addicted to cigarettes. I'm probably an alcoholic. I go in soon to this therapist, so she'll give me a new diagnosis.
    You are not alone! I am diagnosed bipolar and ADHD. I am medicated and do very well. Like you, I don't remember much of my childhood. Not sure why that is! Do you see a psychatrist? If not, I highly recommend it. Treatment is the best thing that happened to me!
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    You are not alone! I am diagnosed bipolar and ADHD. I am medicated and do very well. Like you, I don't remember much of my childhood. Not sure why that is! Do you see a psychatrist? If not, I highly recommend it. Treatment is the best thing that happened to me!
    I don't yet, I just found a place near my house. It would be free for me. Which is great. I've been on medication before.. Whatever it was I was on made everything so much worse.. I've never even fully recovered. I'm looking forward too it. (:
    I'm really happy for you though! (:
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I'm also bi-polar with a LONG history of depression. Feel free to read my blog for some of the things I have found that have helped (aside from medical treatment, which is definitely important, but there are things you can do for yourself that also help).
    www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/CoryIda

    Anyway, I hope that you get a lot of support and encouragement on here and that you grow stronger and healthier both physically and emotionally.
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    I'm also bi-polar with a LONG history of depression. Feel free to read my blog for some of the things I have found that have helped (aside from medical treatment, which is definitely important, but there are things you can do for yourself that also help).
    www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/CoryIda

    Anyway, I hope that you get a lot of support and encouragement on here and that you grow stronger and healthier both physically and emotionally.
    Thank you (:
    I'm going to bookmark that and have a look at that later! (:
  • PANZERIA
    PANZERIA Posts: 471 Member
    I have a very long list, actually. It makes this weight loss thing a lot harder. I try to be as pleasant as I possibly can. I put everyone else's needs before my own. I can't handle my own emotions. My anxiety is at an all time high. It's very hard for me to talk to strangers.. I mean it did take a year for me to actually use this website lol.
    Just seems like it would be nice to share stories of our problems & how we've learned to deal...
    Like a free therapy session. (:
    If no one's interested that's fine.
    My story:
    My father is an alcoholic. He's also bipolar & has ADHD. I am exactly like him. I've always felt different. That scared me senseless. I can remember moving to this school, I was in 4th grade. I was bullied. In 5th grade, a girl called me retarded. We went up to stamp our papers, she was handing me the stamp.. I didn't notice. My mind froze. I felt horrible. Like I was a freak.. I've always had moments where my mind seemed to stand still while life moved on around me. My parents separated when I was about 8. That's when I started gaining weight. I don't remember much of my life. There are so many black holes in my memory. My thoughts move to fast to jot down. Probably why everything has always been so locked away in my head. I have ADHD. I'm bipolar. I have depression. I have anxiety. I'm addicted to cigarettes. I'm probably an alcoholic. I go in soon to this therapist, so she'll give me a new diagnosis.

    Hey! We can be crazy buddies!!!

    I just got put on medication after over a decade of depression and anxiety. (self-mutilation, suicide attempts, etc.) I've been diagnosed with bulimia nervosa, and I'm also nearly 100% positive that I am ADD. A friend of mine, who is an apprentice therapist, said that I'm the poster child for it. I wish I had known years ago so I could have been diagnosed at a young age and had an easier time with school. Oh well. I think the only reason I got through school (I'm graduating university in the spring) was because I was kept so stimulated and busy - piano lessons, softball games, volleyball, basketball, writing courses, etc. My parents liked keeping us busy so that was my only saving grace. School was still a struggle, though. Even if I was interested in the material, I still zoned out. Sometimes I'll zone out while having conversations with people. Not intentional - it just happens.

    My mother is an alcoholic who is refusing to come to my wedding, hates my fiance, left my dad, sister, and I for a new boyfriend when I was 16, and moved half a continent away from everyone. I think it was self-exile, but the kicker is that she hates me for not 'having a relationship anymore.' Whenever I'm there, I'm just her D.D. so that she doesn't drink and drive.

    I find that my anxiety and my depression are my biggest obstacles for weight loss and for gaining a healthy lifestyle. My fiance is helping me work through my bulimia (I'm very open with him about it - I've gotten a lot better in just the year since I told him), but sometimes, I just get sad and lonely. OR I'll over think something and will have an all-out anxiety attack.

    I feel better now letting all of that out, haha.
  • Kohadre
    Kohadre Posts: 316
    Same boat as you

    Bi-polar, depression, tourettes, ocd, schizophrenia. Medication definitively helps, not as much as I'd like it to but its nice :)
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    Severely depressed, OCD, high anxiety, probably ADHD and god knows what else. I tend to want to ignore my mental health and pretend everything is fine...mostly because I just don't have the energy to commit to getting treatment. I always tell myself -- maybe some day, but the years go by, I get worse, and nothing ever changes.

    Here's hoping that therapy gets you to a good place. :)
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member

    Hey! We can be crazy buddies!!!

    I just got put on medication after over a decade of depression and anxiety. (self-mutilation, suicide attempts, etc.) I've been diagnosed with bulimia nervosa, and I'm also nearly 100% positive that I am ADD. A friend of mine, who is an apprentice therapist, said that I'm the poster child for it. I wish I had known years ago so I could have been diagnosed at a young age and had an easier time with school. Oh well. I think the only reason I got through school (I'm graduating university in the spring) was because I was kept so stimulated and busy - piano lessons, softball games, volleyball, basketball, writing courses, etc. My parents liked keeping us busy so that was my only saving grace. School was still a struggle, though. Even if I was interested in the material, I still zoned out. Sometimes I'll zone out while having conversations with people. Not intentional - it just happens.

    My mother is an alcoholic who is refusing to come to my wedding, hates my fiance, left my dad, sister, and I for a new boyfriend when I was 16, and moved half a continent away from everyone. I think it was self-exile, but the kicker is that she hates me for not 'having a relationship anymore.' Whenever I'm there, I'm just her D.D. so that she doesn't drink and drive.

    I find that my anxiety and my depression are my biggest obstacles for weight loss and for gaining a healthy lifestyle. My fiance is helping me work through my bulimia (I'm very open with him about it - I've gotten a lot better in just the year since I told him), but sometimes, I just get sad and lonely. OR I'll over think something and will have an all-out anxiety attack.

    I feel better now letting all of that out, haha.
    I've always wanted a crazy buddy! haha, (:
    I understand what you mean about school. I, unlike you, couldn't handle it. I felt so stupid all the time. I dropped out. Every time I try to study for my GED.. other things happen & I forget all together.

    I'm really sorry about your mother. It's really a shame. ):

    We seem to have a lot in common actually, other than the fact I'm single and a tad bit younger. lol (:
    I'm really happy for you though! & glad this made you feel better! (:
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    Same boat as you

    Bi-polar, depression, tourettes, ocd, schizophrenia. Medication definitively helps, not as much as I'd like it to but its nice :)
    I've been told numerous times I've got ocd.. I really don't buy it.
    I'm sorry the medication doesn't help as much as you'd like, I forgot what I was saying. Sorry.
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    Severely depressed, OCD, high anxiety, probably ADHD and god knows what else. I tend to want to ignore my mental health and pretend everything is fine...mostly because I just don't have the energy to commit to getting treatment. I always tell myself -- maybe some day, but the years go by, I get worse, and nothing ever changes.

    Here's hoping that therapy gets you to a good place. :)
    That's what I was trying to do actually, tell myself I was fine.. I've just gotten to the point I can't take it anymore lol. I mean maybe if I had talked more about what was going on in my head with people. I just really had no one to turn to. Everyone always thought I was crazy.
    & thank you (:
  • petreebird
    petreebird Posts: 344 Member
    Nope no one on this post is alone!! Crazy buddies...love it! I was diagnosed Bipolar 1 in 1999 and have been through the gamut with meds. Ups and downs, self mutilation but never a suicide attempt, thankfully. This past summer I was hospitalized twice 8 days then 6 for severe anxiety and paranoia. My anxiety is so bad that I was scared to post my first post on here. Like something bad would happen or people wouldn't like me or something. ehh, its all part of it I suppose.
    I also have huge chunks of my past missing. Sometimes I remember if someone reminds me, sometimes I don't.
    I have a great doc and great therapist both whom I meet with frequently. I feel better this winter than I have in years. (I always get severely depressed during the winters). I also get the zoning out part. Sometimes I just "go someplace else" or sometime my BP brain is thinking so fast that the conversation is to slow and I can't just sit and listen. Either way, I don't get half of what a lot of people say to me.
    I've also noticed that since I've joined this website, it gives me something to concentrate on and the exercise is really making me feel great!! Of course I do tend to get obsessive over things, but getting healthy is a good obsession as long as I keep it in check. :wink:
    Here's hoping that therapy works as well for you as it has for me!!
  • kndlkai1
    kndlkai1 Posts: 103 Member
    Bipolar, borderline OCD and ADHD. Medicated. Seeing a therapist. It all helps as much as I let it. It's all a learning process and sometimes I just don't want to learn. This site is great for support and ideas and suggestions. I haven't seen any negativity here at all. Stay, be safe, and allow yourself to grow and heal.
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
    I feel for you. Sincerely.

    I can't say that I have mental health problems (well.... apart from aptitude at being socially inept in situations, which I think is more of a skill... hard to refine a quality such as that :P)

    I can say that I'm affected by a family member of mine, my mother. She goes through depression as a result of many factors: life-long illness, constant pain, family issues dating back decades, etc. So she medicates for it. She OK some times, and others its terrible.

    I'm posting because I wanted to express how interconnected your situation ties in with so many people's lives. With mine. And I wanted to express that like the other posters in this thread will say, you are not alone.

    No matter the person, we all have barriers to push through regardless of the task at hand. Some have more barriers than others. But we are all in this together, whether we acknowledge this or not.

    I appreciate your story and wish you nothing but happiness truthfully. Happiness is something that you decide, and it begins with acknowledging the barriers and deciding to better yourself despite of them.
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    Nope no one on this post is alone!! Crazy buddies...love it! I was diagnosed Bipolar 1 in 1999 and have been through the gamut with meds. Ups and downs, self mutilation but never a suicide attempt, thankfully. This past summer I was hospitalized twice 8 days then 6 for severe anxiety and paranoia. My anxiety is so bad that I was scared to post my first post on here. Like something bad would happen or people wouldn't like me or something. ehh, its all part of it I suppose.
    I also have huge chunks of my past missing. Sometimes I remember if someone reminds me, sometimes I don't.
    I have a great doc and great therapist both whom I meet with frequently. I feel better this winter than I have in years. (I always get severely depressed during the winters). I also get the zoning out part. Sometimes I just "go someplace else" or sometime my BP brain is thinking so fast that the conversation is to slow and I can't just sit and listen. Either way, I don't get half of what a lot of people say to me.
    I've also noticed that since I've joined this website, it gives me something to concentrate on and the exercise is really making me feel great!! Of course I do tend to get obsessive over things, but getting healthy is a good obsession as long as I keep it in check. :wink:
    Here's hoping that therapy works as well for you as it has for me!!
    It might seem weird, but I makes me happy that you've never had a suicide attempt. (:
    I can understand the fear of posting on here, like this post? I've started it, typed it all out, & erased it about 20 times before I finally sent it though. I am really starting to wonder about this missing past thing.. Is there something I don't know that connects it to being bipolar? or even anxiety?
    I'm happy for you, having a great group of people to help!
    It's so funny to me, having all these different people with stories that sound similar to mine..
    Thank you so much (:
  • I don't know if this qualifies for mental health issues. Definite anxiety issues, special ed classes all of my life and was diagnosed as "neurologically impaired" as a kid. Eventually I figured it to be Asperger's. If there's a normal out there, I'm the opposite.

    I also have a sympathetic ear to your special needs, as depression is no joke. It will also affect your weight loss, and any attempts at it. Feel free to friend me.
  • "Sometimes I just "go someplace else" or sometime my BP brain is thinking so fast that the conversation is to slow and I can't just sit and listen. Either way, I don't get half of what a lot of people say to me. "

    I can totally relate to this! I know it is related to my Aspergers, but my daydreams can turn into novellas, and I can be so engrossed in them I can't focus on the task at hand. My brain is also constantly working into overdrive, and this has affected a lot of important conversations.

    Of course I do tend to get obsessive over things ---> don't know how much you know about Aspergers but uh, YEAH. We are the obsessive type. We need to obsess over something.
  • teamlangston
    teamlangston Posts: 25 Member
    OK..so first off GOOD for you for acknowledging that you need help and going to get it. I know it's not easy. How do I know?? because I'm a psych nurse. No not the mean scary ones they depict on tv and in the movies either :-) As far as the missing parts of your past...from dealing with my patients and a very close loved one I have learned that sometimes when bad things happen in your life, your mind puts on its defense mechanisms and you just forget that time period. POOF Sometimes the memories and periods of time will come back, they tend to emerge in therapy with some intense digging into the past, and sometimes you never fully get them all back. I wish you all the luck in the world!! You are definitely not alone and there are honest and good people out there that truly want to help you on your journey!
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    I don't know if this qualifies for mental health issues. Definite anxiety issues, special ed classes all of my life and was diagnosed as "neurologically impaired" as a kid. Eventually I figured it to be Asperger's. If there's a normal out there, I'm the opposite.

    I also have a sympathetic ear to your special needs, as depression is no joke. It will also affect your weight loss, and any attempts at it. Feel free to friend me.
    I think that would be considered mental health issues. I used to think normal was real.. now I'm not so sure. lol.
    & thank you.. I was going to add you, but the link popped up & I lost it.. ha
  • teamlangston
    teamlangston Posts: 25 Member
    "Sometimes I just "go someplace else" or sometime my BP brain is thinking so fast that the conversation is to slow and I can't just sit and listen. Either way, I don't get half of what a lot of people say to me. "

    I can totally relate to this! I know it is related to my Aspergers, but my daydreams can turn into novellas, and I can be so engrossed in them I can't focus on the task at hand. My brain is also constantly working into overdrive, and this has affected a lot of important conversations.

    Of course I do tend to get obsessive over things ---> don't know how much you know about Aspergers but uh, YEAH. We are the obsessive type. We need to obsess over something.

    My oldest son is a high functioning autistic. i SWEAR reading your post made me think of him. It made me smile, because sometimes he'll share his "novellas" with me. I LOVE to see where his brain is taking him!
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    OK..so first off GOOD for you for acknowledging that you need help and going to get it. I know it's not easy. How do I know?? because I'm a psych nurse. No not the mean scary ones they depict on tv and in the movies either :-) As far as the missing parts of your past...from dealing with my patients and a very close loved one I have learned that sometimes when bad things happen in your life, your mind puts on its defense mechanisms and you just forget that time period. POOF Sometimes the memories and periods of time will come back, they tend to emerge in therapy with some intense digging into the past, and sometimes you never fully get them all back. I wish you all the luck in the world!! You are definitely not alone and there are honest and good people out there that truly want to help you on your journey!
    Thank you (:
    See I always thought that maybe it was my minds defenses blocking the memories.. But the bad things that have happened to me are the things I remember the most. My first therapist might have explained that to me, I just don't remember lol
  • teamlangston
    teamlangston Posts: 25 Member
    Yours might be the reverse....your mind is so fixated on the bad memories that the good memories are over-shadowed. hopefully the new therapist can help you sort this out. I am so excited for you!
  • I have EXTREMELY bad anxiety, which is exactly why i am overweight,its a long story but for a good 2 1/2-3 years it debilitated me to the point where i rarely left my house. I still struggle with it but its gotten WAY better and now i want to get my old body back(or at least close to it).
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    Yours might be the reverse....your mind is so fixated on the bad memories that the good memories are over-shadowed. hopefully the new therapist can help you sort this out. I am so excited for you!
    That's actually really interesting. I'm hoping so! (:
    & thank you so much! (:
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    I have EXTREMELY bad anxiety, which is exactly why i am overweight,its a long story but for a good 2 1/2-3 years it debilitated me to the point where i rarely left my house. I still struggle with it but its gotten WAY better and now i want to get my old body back(or at least close to it).
    I'm so sorry about your anxiety. I know how hard that can be. I was on this one medication back when I was medicated, I couldn't leave my house. Lasted a few months. So I can only imagine what 3 years of that would be like. Good luck to you, I'm sure you'll get the body you want! (:
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    Thank you for the link (:
  • nokittyno
    nokittyno Posts: 293 Member
    I don't have any illnesses, but I do live with three schizophrenics, my mother, father and twin brother. So I sort of know abit about it, but can't say i've thoroughly lived IN it.

    My brothers has multiple issues, such as Anxiety (panic attacks), schizophrenia, and I think he was diagnosed OCD. My mom's a mild-schizophrenia, (functional) and my fathers more severe (non-functional) in terms of jobs, coping, socializing, etc etc.
  • lor007
    lor007 Posts: 884 Member
    Thank you for the link (:

    You're welcome! If you search within the groups there may be more to choose from.
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    I have issues with depression... and fairly significant mood swings. I'm still working on me, though... it's a day to day process. I was doing great for a long time. I used to be one of the most positive people on this site (here for almost 2 years), but the past few months have been so hard for me, and in turn, I've lost a good majority of my friends here... a lot of them I deleted for no real reason... others deleted me I'm sure because of my negativity.

    Sometimes people just don't understand that when someone is REALLY down... that's when we need them the most... and who knows??? You might just save that person's life...

    I have some VERY supportive and caring friends on here... and that's what's important... I might not have 270 anymore... but I have a very special 41. :)
  • PetitePerfection
    PetitePerfection Posts: 199 Member
    I used to get anxiety attacks very frequently, and went through depressed episodes, which led me to anorexia. That only furthered my troubles, but since eating healthy and exercising healthily, I haven't needed any meds!! Endorphins are my drug, and they're free!!
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