Just don't give an #@$.............

jessejames3ball
jessejames3ball Posts: 268
edited October 7 in Motivation and Support
Some of you may recognize at least part of my username. I was here once before but kind of got fed up with everything I guess. Not just here I mean, everything. That was 3 months ago. I am still in that same mode and can't seem to shake it. Since I left here 3 months ago, I have gained back 10lbs of the 25 that I had lost while being here. Yet even still, I just can't seem to make myself care. Do I want to be skinny again? Of course. The thing is, I like food, and all the wrong kinds. I don't know what the hell to do with myself. Who wants to punch me? Not yet? I can go on...................

BTW, if you don't recognize my username a little from before or know who I am, that's ok. Have a great day!

Replies

  • dargytaylor
    dargytaylor Posts: 840 Member
    I feel the same way.......no motivation what so ever!!

    My food is ok.....I just can't seem to make myself get to the damn gym!! And no, working out at home is not an option. Small livingroom, too many people around.....etc etc

    I am always so gung ho during the day at work, but then just loose it all once I am home!! I will be so dissapointed this summer if I don't just get some motiviation and soon!!

    Feel free to add me
  • GemaG
    GemaG Posts: 142
    Oh dear!! I have been like that. After losing some I put more back on again. All I can say is finally one day I just felt I couldnt take anymore and was the biggest I have ever been. As you can see I have only just started so I may fall off the wagon again!! Good luck
  • You can but you must get a goal.do it for yourself.Just do it.
  • audram420
    audram420 Posts: 838 Member
    The whole month of December turned me into feeling this way! I'm trying hard to get back into things!! =)
  • noexcuses1218
    noexcuses1218 Posts: 332 Member
    That was my December.

    It took gaining ten pounds back, not fitting into my clothes, and a couple of concerned check-ins from friends here to bring me "back from the dark side" - which metaphor works a whole lot better for me than "on the wagon."

    Also, have you ever seen Apocalypse Now? There's a scene where the main character has been warned to "stay on the boat. Never get off the boat." Then someone gets off the boat to go tend to certain bodily functions and gets mauled by a freaking tiger. A TIGER. At least that's how I remember it. So for me, getting back on the boat and out of the jungle of chaos has been a blessing over the last couple of days. It just feels safer, and less out of control. I'm a creature of habit, and a compulsive eater to boot, so that's made a huge difference.

    If you're here, there's some part of you that wants and needs it. Just hang out for a while, maybe make some more friends. I'll bet you anything you'll pick up some of their motivational vibe, and that might be enough to get you out of the jungle. Best of luck. Friend me if you like.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    As someone who works part time with drug addicts and alcoholics, I hear this a lot. At first they recognize they have a problem, what to get healthy, then say screw it, I really do not want to be sober anyway. I like drinking, why do I want to give that up, I am not hurting anyone but myself..................

    This is not a case of just simply stopping drinking or drugging for them, there are emotional issues that need to be addressed to get to the bottom of the problem. The same goes for eating and having a case of the F'it's.

    I am not going to punch you in the face as I know from experience that wont work, hey, if it did, everyone would be healthy. There are several things you can do to make this crap in your head go away (this also will help with the "getting fed up" with things). First is OA, a 12 step program is an amazing thing and will give you a manner of living which is being responsible for self and all your own choices. Second one is therapy.

    Good luck and I hope you find the happiness you deserve.
  • akgerweck
    akgerweck Posts: 11 Member
    It honestly sounds like what you're going through is mild depression. I'm not talking about the debilitating depression everyone seems to thing is the only kind that actually exists. I'm talking about the "I'm tired, I don't want to move today, I don't care about myself" kind where you still get up, go to work, eat your meals (and all the stuff in between), and interact with others, but you don't enjoy it. I understand completely. Noone with a heart will judge you for it, but unfortunately there are a lot of heartless people out there. Do you need someone to kick your butt, or do you need to just work through things at your own pace? Neither is wrong, it's a personal decision. But, do try to figure out what you need to get yourself out of it. If you stay in a mildly depressed state for too long it can tailspin into something worse before you realize you are heading down a bad path (again, I understand).

    I havent' gained much of my weight back (not that I lost that much to begin with, but right now I'm finding it hard to have the motivation to do anything. Even clean the house. EVEN get out of my pajamas. That's where my tailspin is heading. I started blogging about my issues (mine were already pretty public anyway, I'm not suggesting that would work for you).

    If you want to read my blog, go to http://www.amnesiacsjourney.blogspot.com/ and read about someone elses problems. That helps for some people too.

    Overall, I'm sorry for what you are going through. In the end there isn't anyone that can help you unless you're willing to help yourself. Wish that didn't come out so preachy, but ..... well .... it just does.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,026 Member
    Change the routine. Instead of going home, go for a walk, run, get a bike, etc. If you continue to stay the current course, the results will always be the same.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • mhotch
    mhotch Posts: 901 Member
    What you first have to realize that this is not a temporary diet- to goal, it is a lifestyle change. I miss a lot of foods, but I do like the feeling of healthy better. Its a choice that you make for yourself. I know its hard, I battle it every day. I plan to have this battle for a long time to come. Make exercise part of your weekly routine as you would scheduling showers, brushing your teeth... eventually it does become automatic.
  • katyejean
    katyejean Posts: 233 Member
    Take pictures of yourself from different angles. I bet seeing areas of fat that you never paid attention to will kick you back into gear. Lmao. Good luck shaking off that feeling. Don't worry about 'skinny', worry about living longer and better for yourself and those you love.
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
    Suck it up, buttercup! :wink:

    Seriously tho, I went thru the same thing, pretty much all of 2011 -- knew exactly what I needed to do, and how to do it yet couldn't make myself care enough to get off my butt and workout, or stop myself from eating the crap food I know I don't need. Took all of December to pump myself up for January. I knew I'd be starting over, back to square one with nobody to help me but me. You'll find your motivation again, it's there somewhere. And, you know where to find me if you are being real about the punching you part. :tongue:
  • empresslove13
    empresslove13 Posts: 48 Member
    it happens. if you feel really depressed have you thought about counseling?
  • Same here. I'm just so frustrated with it all. I feel like I do so well during the day at work, but once I get home, I would much rather sit on the couch and browse Netflix with the hubby and go to bed early, than actually get up and do something. I say things like "I'm going to stop drinking soda" "eating junk/fast food" "drinking alcohol" "sitting on my a&&" but I never really follow through. We have a gorgeous workout facility in the building at my new-ish job (starting after Thanksgiving), but have I used it yet? Nope. Because it's on the fourth floor and boohoo, I'd have to walk the stairs.

    I originally lost almost 30# on Weight Watchers but gained it all back and then some due to a back injury this summer. Now, I just can't get going to lose it again. I feel like I might never lose it.

    I hate whining about myself so I never say any of this stuff, and I'm tempted to erase it all rather than posting it, but I feel like if I never say it, I'll never move past it.
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
    This wont work unless your head is in the right place and for whatever reason it definitely sounds like its not there at the moment so just log for now...you could set your calories at maintenance level or go without any levels for a bit. keep up the habit of logging good or bad and hopefully you'll soon be feeling up to trying again.

    When you do get there don't go at it gung ho (my worst habit!) just aim for small changes and allow yourself treats/cheats so you dont end up feeling deprived.
  • lauraOOOO
    lauraOOOO Posts: 103 Member
    i am just emerging from wheat I am calling "my 5 week funk".....i gained, was lazy and just generally didn't care. but then it came to the point where i thouight--- no, i 100% do want to get healthy, so the only option is to keep pushing. no matter how many times i fall down, i WILL get back up and keep going, because it's the ontly option....there is no alternative.

    you have to find that for yourself though....so i hope something triggers for you :) good luck.
  • Thanks everyone. There is probably some truth amongst all of this.

    You can blame jstarnes for me being back. ha!
  • meltygarden
    meltygarden Posts: 111 Member
    I've lost weight before and yeah, eventually I get to a point where I think 'life is too short to constantly deny myself all these pleasurable things.'

    exercising helps. once i have done my daily exercise, i don't want to waste that effort by eating too many calories. it also increases the amount of calories i can have to a more liveable level, so i can enjoy the food i'm eating more and not feel like i'm eating diet cardboard all day long.
  • LWatson43
    LWatson43 Posts: 65 Member
    If that is the case take your tennis shoes to work and walk at lunch.
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
    Slack *kitten*. Get moving.
  • I had the same problem most of my life. Then something changed it. I watched my Dad die a painful extended death due to diabetes brought on by weight gain and poor eating decisions. He had the same problem, couldn't get the correct motivation. As he became more and more blind, needed wound specialists to wrap his wounds that just wouldn't heal, and became depacitated, the bed soars alone turned your stomach. it gave me one final "gift," a reference I never want for myself. Nor do I want my family or friends to watch me go through it. This was very real. PURE FEAR has motivated me, at least initially. If I could put these pictures in your head you WOULD be motivated. He let himself go beyond to where he couldn't fix it. There comes a time you can't despite what you "think." Thats where we all are headed if we don't---to a place where we no longer have control. That is what you are choosing and there is no going back then.

    Only YOU can make a better decision. I know I am, and its more empowering. I can't control the government, the weather, my boss, or a number of other things, but this is physics and it obeys laws. I can make a difference with this and the quality of whatever time I have. Only you can choose this. Why not YOU?
  • wilnat
    wilnat Posts: 14 Member
    This wont work unless your head is in the right place and for whatever reason it definitely sounds like its not there at the moment so just log for now...you could set your calories at maintenance level or go without any levels for a bit. keep up the habit of logging good or bad and hopefully you'll soon be feeling up to trying again.

    When you do get there don't go at it gung ho (my worst habit!) just aim for small changes and allow yourself treats/cheats so you dont end up feeling deprived.

    I am having the same trouble... i find it very hard to say no to junk because I feel that I will never be able to eat it again, so then I binge. This advice is great and I believe it will help me go in the right direction to becoming healthy. I want to fit into my clothes and feel healthy... Thanks!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    What you first have to realize that this is not a temporary diet- to goal, it is a lifestyle change. I miss a lot of foods, but I do like the feeling of healthy better. Its a choice that you make for yourself. I know its hard, I battle it every day. I plan to have this battle for a long time to come. Make exercise part of your weekly routine as you would scheduling showers, brushing your teeth... eventually it does become automatic.

    This mindset is what finaly changed it all for me this time around. I've done just about every diet (including pills and shakes) out there but always failed after a few months. Why? Because it's just a fad or a quick fix. My goal was to lose weight and if it wasn't working for me in one form or the other, instead of figuring out why or how I could make it better, easier, etc, I simply gave up.

    About two years ago, it hit me that I really needed to lose the weight and get healthy or I was headed for disaster. My blood pressure and cholesterol levels kept rising and I just didn't feel good about myself anymore. After 18 years of being obese, I was over it! But I knew deprivation didn't work, and I know pills and shakes didn't work so what would? I decided no foods were off the list, I simply had to eat normal portions of whatever was on the menu for the day and exercise to make up the difference. And to give myself a break if I went off the diet now and then.

    Guess what? It's working! I've lost nearly 80 pounds and I'm still going strong. Not tired of this new lifestyle at all! In fact, I'm stronger and happier with my life now than I have been in years. It's not always easy, I'm not saying that, but it does get easier.

    So, my advice in a nutshell is to stop all the presure. Make small goals - like this week, I will track all my food and next week I'll hit calorie goal at least 3 days and next week I'll exercise at least twice, and the next week I'll get in all my fruits and veggies, etc etc. And if you don't hit a goal, keep working on that goal until you get it, or move on to the next goal and put that goal further down on your list. Don't set weight goals because they're too unpredictible for most of us and that's why people get frustrated and quit. If you work instead towards goals that have more to do with the process, the weight will come off and there will be less of a struggle.
  • oneIT
    oneIT Posts: 388 Member
    Look at the people around you....
  • rugbyphreak
    rugbyphreak Posts: 509 Member
    i still feel that way. i've hit a brick wall and i'm not losing any more weight. why should i work my *kitten* off for no results?

    we can all just give up together and be fat and happy.
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
    Do not lock yourself in a routine.

    I see a lot of people failing because they are so focused on trying to routine their day to day lives and realize they are just not programmed that way (don't get me wrong many are programmed that way but many are not)

    You can't work out after work ? Then get home eat dinner, take a shower then go to the gym!

    You can't work out that late? Get up early, go to the gym.

    You can't work out that early? Change your lifestyle so every day is a work out; take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk the long way instead of the short way, park REALLY far away from your work and walk it in, go for a walk on your breaks instead of sitting their staring at mfp or fb all day long !

    In the words of the shoe company, JUST DO IT !
  • I had the same problem most of my life. Then something changed it. I watched my Dad die a painful extended death due to diabetes brought on by weight gain and poor eating decisions. He had the same problem, couldn't get the correct motivation. As he became more and more blind, needed wound specialists to wrap his wounds that just wouldn't heal, and became depacitated, the bed soars alone turned your stomach. it gave me one final "gift," a reference I never want for myself. Nor do I want my family or friends to watch me go through it. This was very real. PURE FEAR has motivated me, at least initially. If I could put these pictures in your head you WOULD be motivated. He let himself go beyond to where he couldn't fix it. There comes a time you can't despite what you "think." Thats where we all are headed if we don't---to a place where we no longer have control. That is what you are choosing and there is no going back then.

    Only YOU can make a better decision. I know I am, and its more empowering. I can't control the government, the weather, my boss, or a number of other things, but this is physics and it obeys laws. I can make a difference with this and the quality of whatever time I have. Only you can choose this. Why not YOU?

    WOW....this is powerful stuff here! I don't think I have read anyting on MFP quite like it. I watched my father die from diabetes as well. Talk about PURE FEAR! That was it!
  • aregensb
    aregensb Posts: 239 Member
    Change your goal from "lose weight" to "be healthy."

    Many are too fixed on restricting their calories to amounts that are unsustainable (for most folks). The enticing "lose 2 pounds per week" setting often makes people set their caloric intake too low. It's not a race to lose the weight. I think what often happens is people dramatically cut their calories and after about a month or two start thinking that it's impossible to stay at 1200 calories. Would you rather dramatically cut calories for a month, get sick of it, and stop paying attention to what you're eating, OR would you rather go slow and steady with a higher caloric allowance and realize that you CAN stick with a nutrition plan that allows more than 1200 calories? Those few hundred calories make a big difference in your feeling of satiation. I feel that people who lose weight slowly but steadily are more likely to stick with it than those who lose the weight by really restricting their diet.
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