Depression - please read if you are experiencing this...

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It took a death in the family (Meagan Kandis - my 15 yr old BEAUTIFUL cousin). She would have celebrated her sweet 16 on Thursday, Jan 12 but she will be celebrating it in Heaven while we are weeping down here on Earth. It opened my eyes and let me know what was really important to me - my 3 girls! I thank God each day for my great health, WONDERFUL children and a family who loves me. I focus on that - and not 'me'. Also, running 30-35 miles a week and setting goals helps me keep my eyes on the ball. If I have too much time on my hands - I will start to feel depressed. I just don’t have time to get depressed anymore.

Also, you may not see it - but you are a shining star in many people's eyes! They love you, check up on you, smile when they hear your voice or see you or even think of you. If you were gone from this Earth (like our precious little Megs), MANY MANY MANY people would be devastated. You would have weeping parents, siblings, friends, relatives and others. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone when/if you feel depressed. It killed Meagan! Don’t let it kill anyone else! This is for anyone thinking/contemplating suicide! I can tell you this, it’s left our family in turmoil. She wrote in her notes that 'we would cry a little but we would get over it' - BULL$HIT! It’s a LIFE SENANCE for her mother, father, step father, grandparents, friends, relatives, my children, me, and a slew of other people she touched daily.

Right now, the only communication her mom has (my 1st cousin) is the last stuff she posted on Facebook and the last text messages she sent on her phone. She doesn't see her come home from school anymore. She doesnt hear her voice. She doesn't feel her arms around her, she doesn't hear the word, "mom".

If you are depressed DONT LET IT KILL YOU!! Get help! People will understand! Talk to someone! Depression is only in your mind and it can be overcome! Trust me, I know from personal experience!

For Meagan's sweet 16 birthday - we will be releasing colorful balloons so she can see them floating in the sky.

Replies

  • shavonne
    shavonne Posts: 46 Member
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    I'm sorry for your family's loss and thanks for sharing your story. I suffer from bouts of depression and talking to others and seeking therapy (when extreme) really does help. I hope others will read and heed your message.

    RIP Megan
  • Jconner30
    Jconner30 Posts: 311
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    Awe... thanks!
  • tam120
    tam120 Posts: 444 Member
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    My mom killed herself 10 years ago then my uncle did the same thing 5 years ago even after seeing all the pain she left behind. Sometimes all I feel is anger toward both of them for being so selfish even though I know how dark that place can be. The difference is; I got help, I don't want to cause that much pain.
  • seal57
    seal57 Posts: 1,259 Member
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    I can totally understand where Meagan was when she did this because I have been there and unless you have you will never understand.....The pain is so bad that you just want it to end.....You don't think about anything as you are completely numb to everything......If my attempt was successful, I'm pretty certain that my family wouldn't give a *kitten* that I was gone.....They didn't when I had cancer.....

    I'm not sorry for doing it because it was going to happen sooner or later......Will I try again? No, because now I have never felt better....Also, I know that it will hurt the most dearest friend that I have ever had.....I'm single with no kids and my dearest friend and her family are now my next of kin....They are the ones who mean more to me then my family ever will....

    What I'm about to say, I'm not saying it to be hurtful....

    But for Meagan to say what she did regarding her family, there must have been a reason....A reason that she only knows about....

    I am sorry for your loss.....

    R.I.P Meagan.....