advice needed non weight related

prettyontheinside
prettyontheinside Posts: 14
edited October 7 in Chit-Chat
I have been talking to a guy he seems really great we haven't meet. He has seen pictures and he wants to meet. I just dont feel comfortable should I just bite the bullet and meet him or wait until I feel comfortable?

Replies

  • NordenJenn
    NordenJenn Posts: 82
    definitely wait until you feel comfortable! sometimes your gut instincts know more than you do!
  • JENJEN2011
    JENJEN2011 Posts: 36 Member
    I would definetly wait until you feel comfortable! If you do not know him well you may walk into something you did not anticipate.
  • xandra
    xandra Posts: 101 Member
    When u do decide to meet him make sure it is n a public plc. Let someone know where ur going and with whom. Never give out personal info such as ur adress or company where you work. Be safe and have fun. I met my last boyfriend online.

    Be warned no one ever looks like their pic. And men always seem 2 lie about their height.


    Peace
  • sammibob
    sammibob Posts: 47
    why dont you feel comfortable? I'd say trust your instincts..
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    I have been talking to a guy he seems really great we haven't meet. He has seen pictures and he wants to meet. I just dont feel comfortable should I just bite the bullet and meet him or wait until I feel comfortable?
    Meet for lunch - not dinner.
    Drive yourself, and go somewhere VERY public.

    And if at any time you get a bad feeling, say so and just leave.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    i would not meet anyone off the internet for a very very long time. this is how women end up missing and eventually found buried 6 inches deep back in the woods 5 years later! just my opinion :) our gut instincts are usually smarter than our hearts and our heads... we just need to learn to listen to these instincts better! if he truly likes you, he'll wait until your ready to meet, without getting "wierd"...
  • brittnelauren
    brittnelauren Posts: 2
    I met my now fiance on match.com it was really odd at first but we did make sure we met in a public place where I felt comfortable. I was excited to meet him but really nervous. We talked for a while through internet and on the phone but when we had to meet in person I was really nervous because pictures don't tell the whole story. Just be true to you whenever you do meet him and at least have someone that knows you are going to meet him and that you can text or call when you meet and when you leave. Hope it works out.
  • rjmwx81
    rjmwx81 Posts: 259 Member
    I don't understand why you're hesitant. Everyone is honest on the internet. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go wash my Ferrari. :laugh:

    Seriously, meet in a public place, and if possible, with a group of friends. The friends don't have to actually *meet* the guy (that can be later in the relationship, if any) but they can keep an eye on you and make sure you're safe.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    It depends on the reason you don't yet feel comfortable.

    If there's red flags in what he's saying and you don't trust him not to be a weirdo, then don't meet him. Not now, not ever.

    But if it's normal cold feet... bite the bullet! What would be gained by waiting? All you'll do is build up expectations.

    I've known many people who wanted to postpone meeting until they lost weight, for instance, or thought that the other person would fall for them based on just their personality and forgive little white lies like not living up to their claims they made online (height, weight, age, job, etc.) I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but it's something that does happen.
  • simoriah_angel
    simoriah_angel Posts: 72
    What exactly is it that is making you feel uncomfortable? If there is something about him that is making you feel uncomfortable, either ask him about it or if you can't bring yourself to do it, walk away. Women's intuition is a powerful thing. And you should be comfortable enough to address any topic with him.

    If it is merely you, specifically your body size, please understand that he has seen your pictures and wants to meet anyway. Even if you personally don't feel like a million dollars, you're a million $$ to this person. For me, I place very clear, accurate and recent pictures up all the time so there should not be an issue with someone being "surprised". Another thing that may be less daunting, but still interactive, is a Skype date, where you and him can take face to face but not be in the same place.

    Obviously, if you do decide to meet this person, take all of the necessary precautions:

    http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/features/firstmeeting.html

    I hope this all helps.
  • cgrout78
    cgrout78 Posts: 1,628 Member
    Meet in public for sure...at a Starbucks or something for coffee, that way if you get a weird vibe it's a quick thing.
  • Kalani2012
    Kalani2012 Posts: 33
    Meet for lunch - not dinner.
    Drive yourself, and go somewhere VERY public.

    And if at any time you get a bad feeling, say so and just leave.
    [/quote]


    +1 on this advice.
  • MalibuBeth
    MalibuBeth Posts: 87 Member
    I would say bite the bullet, but definitely give yourself an "out". I went on a "blind date" once, and had my friend txt me within a half an hour so I could act like I need to leave because of an emergency. I ended up sticking it out the rest of the "date" anyway even though I didn't like him, but knowing I had that option ahead of time helped me actually meet up with him.
  • CanuckLove
    CanuckLove Posts: 673 Member
    I'm like the queen of internet dating. LOL
    Definitely if you have a weird feeling about it - don't do it. Either wait till you feel comfortable or don't go at all, make sure you meet in a public place like above poster said and take a cab home.

    Be careful and trust your instincts. AND...... let a friend know where you are. :) Good luck!
  • prettyontheinside
    prettyontheinside Posts: 14
    I work at a police department as a dispatcher he is actually someone that calls in for traffic reports. I told him I didnt feel comfortable one on one and even though he really wants it to be us he's agreed to the double date. Told him the couple we are going out with os a cop and one of my bestfriends. And tge reason i am hesitant is because of my weight but i know i just need to get over that.
  • lcouterm
    lcouterm Posts: 138 Member
    1) public place
    2) bring your own money (just in case)
    3) coordinate a time for a friend to call you (if you have a cell) to check on you and to give you an "out" if you need. You know "Oh no it's an emergency at home, Ive got to go" kinda out.
    4) even if you really are having a good time do not let yourself be alone with them, until your more aquanted (maybe another date)
    5) Have a great time.
  • NeverGivesUp
    NeverGivesUp Posts: 960 Member
    I met my husband online. It was when I was at the height of my weight 230lbs and I am only 5 ft 3 inches. He fell in love with me anyway. I had my gastric bypass a month after we met and he tried to talk me out of it. He moved in 2 weeks after we met, we got engaged after 2 months, married after 4 months. I am still very in love with him and it has been 10 years. Take your first meeting with him on a double date (that is a good idea) but don't let your uncomfortableness of your body get to you. Fake self confidence and it will eventually be real. If it is meant to be then it is meant to be. If he rejects you because of your looks then he just wasn't the right guy. Be yourself and be honest and enjoy the exciting new relationship feelings :)
  • CalJur
    CalJur Posts: 627 Member
    hook-up on facebook for a minute. this is totally a facebook-like scenario.
  • simoriah_angel
    simoriah_angel Posts: 72
    Let me stress this as well. Don't just talk "online" or through text to him. Talk to him on the phone, even if it is not your "thing". Better yet, Skype Chat first. (link is below). Make a fake name for dating websites if you are afraid of being followed. This way, you can at least get somewhat of a reading off of him without actually being "in person".

    http://www.skype.com/intl/en-us/home
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    I just had a blind date. It was rather uncomfortable for me because I have been out of the "dating scene" for some time. I personally did not really feel comfortable with me, but I faked it, because as I lose more, I know I will feel the way about myself that I want to feel. Although, I will tell you my date was a disaster, so now I dont feel so uncomfortable, and I can laugh at Straw Boy (he blew the wrapper off his straw at me and it landed in my water - that is how our date started. It got worse from there!)
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    1) public place
    2) bring your own money (just in case)
    3) coordinate a time for a friend to call you (if you have a cell) to check on you and to give you an "out" if you need. You know "Oh no it's an emergency at home, Ive got to go" kinda out.
    4) even if you really are having a good time do not let yourself be alone with them, until your more aquanted (maybe another date)
    5) Have a great time.

    This is great advice, follow it.
  • piercedbeauty21
    piercedbeauty21 Posts: 33
    Wait until you feel ready to meet him. My husband stalked me on Myspace lol. We talked for awhile, met in person, dated for 2 years, were engaged for a year, got married 07-07-07, had our daughter 3-11-09, and now we're coming up on our 5 year wedding anniversary.
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
    I work at a police department as a dispatcher he is actually someone that calls in for traffic reports. I told him I didnt feel comfortable one on one and even though he really wants it to be us he's agreed to the double date. Told him the couple we are going out with os a cop and one of my bestfriends. And tge reason i am hesitant is because of my weight but i know i just need to get over that.

    If he is agreeable to the double date and he wants to meet you...do it. Do not let your being self conscious ruin a potentially good thing. I met my husband on-line... I was over 300 lbs and he weight about 270. We have got in better shape together. I was totally honest with him up front and he was with me. He fell in love with the real me and not the packaging only.

    This could a be a truly wonderful man and you are hesitant to meet him because of you. Don't let you hold yourself back. Go live life!
  • mammy1984
    mammy1984 Posts: 8
    First you need to be aware that there are ppl posting to be someone that they aint. Have you ever seen him ie pics as i know you have not meet him yet. Have you spoke to him over the phone or on the computer etc. If you do decide to do so please do it in a public place as like i say ppl aint always who they make out to be and take it slow and good luck x
  • mpetty1975
    mpetty1975 Posts: 3
    depends on why you are hesitant. is it a personal insecurity relating to you not being worth the great relationship or is it 1 and 1 is not equaling 2. if it is the latter stop talking to him. period. my advice if you should decide to meet: public place, i prefer coffee shop, somewhere that i am familiar with the neighborhood, but it is not my neighborhood, i text my sis all vitals, first and last name, phone number, license plate....username because if you docome up missing they can always track the ip address....and i have her call and check up on me. an hour is usually a good timefrme b/c the person that you trust will be able to tell from your voice what kind of tme you are hving and if you need an out then there is your emergency! i gve my sis as much info as i have.
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