advice needed non weight related

Options
prettyontheinside
prettyontheinside Posts: 14
in Chit-Chat
I have been talking to a guy he seems really great we haven't meet. He has seen pictures and he wants to meet. I just dont feel comfortable should I just bite the bullet and meet him or wait until I feel comfortable?
«1

Replies

  • NordenJenn
    NordenJenn Posts: 82
    Options
    definitely wait until you feel comfortable! sometimes your gut instincts know more than you do!
  • JENJEN2011
    JENJEN2011 Posts: 36 Member
    Options
    I would definetly wait until you feel comfortable! If you do not know him well you may walk into something you did not anticipate.
  • xandra
    xandra Posts: 101 Member
    Options
    When u do decide to meet him make sure it is n a public plc. Let someone know where ur going and with whom. Never give out personal info such as ur adress or company where you work. Be safe and have fun. I met my last boyfriend online.

    Be warned no one ever looks like their pic. And men always seem 2 lie about their height.


    Peace
  • sammibob
    sammibob Posts: 47
    Options
    why dont you feel comfortable? I'd say trust your instincts..
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Options
    I have been talking to a guy he seems really great we haven't meet. He has seen pictures and he wants to meet. I just dont feel comfortable should I just bite the bullet and meet him or wait until I feel comfortable?
    Meet for lunch - not dinner.
    Drive yourself, and go somewhere VERY public.

    And if at any time you get a bad feeling, say so and just leave.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    Options
    i would not meet anyone off the internet for a very very long time. this is how women end up missing and eventually found buried 6 inches deep back in the woods 5 years later! just my opinion :) our gut instincts are usually smarter than our hearts and our heads... we just need to learn to listen to these instincts better! if he truly likes you, he'll wait until your ready to meet, without getting "wierd"...
  • brittnelauren
    brittnelauren Posts: 2
    Options
    I met my now fiance on match.com it was really odd at first but we did make sure we met in a public place where I felt comfortable. I was excited to meet him but really nervous. We talked for a while through internet and on the phone but when we had to meet in person I was really nervous because pictures don't tell the whole story. Just be true to you whenever you do meet him and at least have someone that knows you are going to meet him and that you can text or call when you meet and when you leave. Hope it works out.
  • rjmwx81
    rjmwx81 Posts: 259 Member
    Options
    I don't understand why you're hesitant. Everyone is honest on the internet. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go wash my Ferrari. :laugh:

    Seriously, meet in a public place, and if possible, with a group of friends. The friends don't have to actually *meet* the guy (that can be later in the relationship, if any) but they can keep an eye on you and make sure you're safe.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
    Options
    It depends on the reason you don't yet feel comfortable.

    If there's red flags in what he's saying and you don't trust him not to be a weirdo, then don't meet him. Not now, not ever.

    But if it's normal cold feet... bite the bullet! What would be gained by waiting? All you'll do is build up expectations.

    I've known many people who wanted to postpone meeting until they lost weight, for instance, or thought that the other person would fall for them based on just their personality and forgive little white lies like not living up to their claims they made online (height, weight, age, job, etc.) I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but it's something that does happen.
  • simoriah_angel
    simoriah_angel Posts: 72
    Options
    What exactly is it that is making you feel uncomfortable? If there is something about him that is making you feel uncomfortable, either ask him about it or if you can't bring yourself to do it, walk away. Women's intuition is a powerful thing. And you should be comfortable enough to address any topic with him.

    If it is merely you, specifically your body size, please understand that he has seen your pictures and wants to meet anyway. Even if you personally don't feel like a million dollars, you're a million $$ to this person. For me, I place very clear, accurate and recent pictures up all the time so there should not be an issue with someone being "surprised". Another thing that may be less daunting, but still interactive, is a Skype date, where you and him can take face to face but not be in the same place.

    Obviously, if you do decide to meet this person, take all of the necessary precautions:

    http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/features/firstmeeting.html

    I hope this all helps.
  • cgrout78
    cgrout78 Posts: 1,679 Member
    Options
    Meet in public for sure...at a Starbucks or something for coffee, that way if you get a weird vibe it's a quick thing.
  • Kalani2012
    Kalani2012 Posts: 33
    Options
    Meet for lunch - not dinner.
    Drive yourself, and go somewhere VERY public.

    And if at any time you get a bad feeling, say so and just leave.
    [/quote]


    +1 on this advice.
  • MalibuBeth
    MalibuBeth Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    I would say bite the bullet, but definitely give yourself an "out". I went on a "blind date" once, and had my friend txt me within a half an hour so I could act like I need to leave because of an emergency. I ended up sticking it out the rest of the "date" anyway even though I didn't like him, but knowing I had that option ahead of time helped me actually meet up with him.
  • CanuckLove
    CanuckLove Posts: 673 Member
    Options
    I'm like the queen of internet dating. LOL
    Definitely if you have a weird feeling about it - don't do it. Either wait till you feel comfortable or don't go at all, make sure you meet in a public place like above poster said and take a cab home.

    Be careful and trust your instincts. AND...... let a friend know where you are. :) Good luck!
  • prettyontheinside
    prettyontheinside Posts: 14
    Options
    I work at a police department as a dispatcher he is actually someone that calls in for traffic reports. I told him I didnt feel comfortable one on one and even though he really wants it to be us he's agreed to the double date. Told him the couple we are going out with os a cop and one of my bestfriends. And tge reason i am hesitant is because of my weight but i know i just need to get over that.
  • lcouterm
    lcouterm Posts: 138 Member
    Options
    1) public place
    2) bring your own money (just in case)
    3) coordinate a time for a friend to call you (if you have a cell) to check on you and to give you an "out" if you need. You know "Oh no it's an emergency at home, Ive got to go" kinda out.
    4) even if you really are having a good time do not let yourself be alone with them, until your more aquanted (maybe another date)
    5) Have a great time.
  • NeverGivesUp
    NeverGivesUp Posts: 960 Member
    Options
    I met my husband online. It was when I was at the height of my weight 230lbs and I am only 5 ft 3 inches. He fell in love with me anyway. I had my gastric bypass a month after we met and he tried to talk me out of it. He moved in 2 weeks after we met, we got engaged after 2 months, married after 4 months. I am still very in love with him and it has been 10 years. Take your first meeting with him on a double date (that is a good idea) but don't let your uncomfortableness of your body get to you. Fake self confidence and it will eventually be real. If it is meant to be then it is meant to be. If he rejects you because of your looks then he just wasn't the right guy. Be yourself and be honest and enjoy the exciting new relationship feelings :)
  • CalJur
    CalJur Posts: 627 Member
    Options
    hook-up on facebook for a minute. this is totally a facebook-like scenario.
  • simoriah_angel
    simoriah_angel Posts: 72
    Options
    Let me stress this as well. Don't just talk "online" or through text to him. Talk to him on the phone, even if it is not your "thing". Better yet, Skype Chat first. (link is below). Make a fake name for dating websites if you are afraid of being followed. This way, you can at least get somewhat of a reading off of him without actually being "in person".

    http://www.skype.com/intl/en-us/home
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    Options
    I just had a blind date. It was rather uncomfortable for me because I have been out of the "dating scene" for some time. I personally did not really feel comfortable with me, but I faked it, because as I lose more, I know I will feel the way about myself that I want to feel. Although, I will tell you my date was a disaster, so now I dont feel so uncomfortable, and I can laugh at Straw Boy (he blew the wrapper off his straw at me and it landed in my water - that is how our date started. It got worse from there!)

Categories