Anyone somewhat embarrassed by the weight loss?

cmyk529
cmyk529 Posts: 13
edited October 7 in Motivation and Support
I guess I've known I was over weight, but in my head I just didn't see myself as being the over weight girl. As I'm losing people are commenting on it, saying, "you look great," or, "you lost weight!" and I find it somewhat off-putting. I know it should make me feel good but I guess I find it embarrassing.

I'm happy that I'm losing weight and working hard to get healthy, but I'm not a fan of calling attention to it.

Anyone else have this problem?

Replies

  • RumRum85
    RumRum85 Posts: 61 Member
    Hi!! It's heppening to me too!! I started in october, but I never say anyting to nobody, just in case of failing (like Homer Simpson when he started at gym in the night :tongue: ) and a couple of weeks ago, people at my job started with the: "are you thinier? O.O", "you are following a diet, do you?" it soooo :blushing: but at the same time I like it :happy:

    Those comments are a good moment to test your improvisation skills with answer like: "no, this time I've ironed my t-shirt", "Coca cola gives you gases, DON'T ENTER TO THE TOILET!" , etc :laugh:

    You know that, if you do this hard work correctly, this is unavoidable, someday you may surprise everyone with an stunning outfit :wink: (I'm planning to do that when after my vacactions muahahaha)
  • I know exactly what you mean! I don't really like any comments about my weight at all, I find it really uncomfortable to think that people are even watching my weight, you know?

    Like, it's great to be told 'you look nice' but when people say 'you look great, have you lost weight?' I feel mortified!

    I have only been on this site a week but am at my heaviest I have ever been and I have really felt the scrutiny since going from a healthy weight of about 10 stone to 12 stone in the last few years. I'm amazed at how important my weight is to other people!
  • david_swinstead
    david_swinstead Posts: 271 Member
    I have a tip to get around this.

    As you lose weight, begin to wear a fat suit every day. Make the fat suit increasingly large by adding extra cushioning as you lose more and more, so your weight loss is completely invisible.

    Then when you've lost 50lbs take the fat suit off and give everyone a shocker, and get it all over and done with in 1 day.

    Perfect!
  • ha!
  • Gary1977
    Gary1977 Posts: 804 Member
    I'm not embarrassed by the weight loss, but by the actual # itself. When people ask me how much weight I've lost, it's actually hard to say the #. By doing so its like I'm giving away actually how much I used to weigh.:blushing: I don't know why, but I do hate doing this sometimes.
  • Kirsty_UK
    Kirsty_UK Posts: 964 Member
    I have a tip to get around this.

    As you lose weight, begin to wear a fat suit every day. Make the fat suit increasingly large by adding extra cushioning as you lose more and more, so your weight loss is completely invisible.

    Then when you've lost 50lbs take the fat suit off and give everyone a shocker, and get it all over and done with in 1 day.

    Perfect!

    awesome, if a little sweaty!
  • Nicola1944
    Nicola1944 Posts: 290 Member
    I know exactly what you mean! I don't really like any comments about my weight at all, I find it really uncomfortable to think that people are even watching my weight, you know?

    Like, it's great to be told 'you look nice' but when people say 'you look great, have you lost weight?' I feel mortified!

    I have only been on this site a week but am at my heaviest I have ever been and I have really felt the scrutiny since going from a healthy weight of about 10 stone to 12 stone in the last few years. I'm amazed at how important my weight is to other people!

    Exactly how i feel! Over the past say 2 years iv lost 4 stones (approx 56lbs) and i hate people knowing that. I still feel very big, so i imagine people are thinking, oh my god she used to be even bigger!!! I just want to do this for me really, and once im at goal, THEN people can comment, untill then i try and keep my mouth shut! lol

    :)
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I have a tip to get around this.

    As you lose weight, begin to wear a fat suit every day. Make the fat suit increasingly large by adding extra cushioning as you lose more and more, so your weight loss is completely invisible.

    Then when you've lost 50lbs take the fat suit off and give everyone a shocker, and get it all over and done with in 1 day.

    Perfect!

    awesome, if a little sweaty!

    Nah, people aren't that observant, I lost most of my weight getting on for 10 months ago, and some people I see every week are only just noticing now. I had someone this morning ask if I'd lost weight over Christmas. I have been maintaining since last August.


    Anyway, to the OP. YES! I hate people commenting on my weight. It makes me feel awkward, like they picture me fat in their heads.
  • Not at all, in fact losing weight has changed my life for the better in a big way. I am ding things now i could not of dreamed of before, commercial modeling for one and not just that its a nice feeling to know people could see the hard work i put in :smile:
  • david_swinstead
    david_swinstead Posts: 271 Member
    I have a tip to get around this.

    As you lose weight, begin to wear a fat suit every day. Make the fat suit increasingly large by adding extra cushioning as you lose more and more, so your weight loss is completely invisible.

    Then when you've lost 50lbs take the fat suit off and give everyone a shocker, and get it all over and done with in 1 day.

    Perfect!

    awesome, if a little sweaty!

    The sweat would just go further to convince them you're still an unfit porker.

    Only you would know better. It's like espionage.

    Sorta.
  • veggievixen79
    veggievixen79 Posts: 109 Member
    I'm not embarrassed by the weight loss, but by the actual # itself. When people ask me how much weight I've lost, it's actually hard to say the #. By doing so its like I'm giving away actually how much I used to weigh.:blushing: I don't know why, but I do hate doing this sometimes.

    I would hate that too! Asking for the actual # is SO RUDE! Tell them to mind their own business.
  • RachelT14
    RachelT14 Posts: 266 Member
    At the moment i wouldnt mind someone noticing that i have lost weight! I mentionned MFP to a friend yesterday because she wasnt sure about joining weight watchers becase of the money, told her not to bother and check this site out and mentionned how much i had lost and she gave me a look that said "you have lost weight?"

    Whilst i am proud of what i have lost i know i will be a little ashamed of the end amount and may not actually mention the amount to people.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    People have been asking me how much I have lost since I was 4 lbs down. When I said 4 lbs people always looked amazed, but now it's 30 lbs, I don't really like to say.
  • GdeVries
    GdeVries Posts: 232 Member
    Same here. I find it to be a very uncomfortable topic to talk about. And I do usually try to use improvisation or change the subject to other subject matter.

    I'm not sure why it bothers me so much. It bothered me before when I was thin as well - whether it was a positive or negative comment.

    Maybe it's because it amazes me how everyone seems to have an opinion about another's weight AND have the right to voice this opinion out loud.
  • I have a tip to get around this.

    As you lose weight, begin to wear a fat suit every day. Make the fat suit increasingly large by adding extra cushioning as you lose more and more, so your weight loss is completely invisible.

    Then when you've lost 50lbs take the fat suit off and give everyone a shocker, and get it all over and done with in 1 day.

    Perfect!

    This is great! I lol'ed!
  • amyofftherecord
    amyofftherecord Posts: 64 Member
    I know what you mean. I lost a lot a while ago and everyone commented. On the one hand it was nice to get compliments, but the insecure girl inside kept thinking "if you think I look good now, how horrible did you think I looked before?" Plus I was losing weight because of an eating disorder -- basically killing myself to get thin -- so all that validation just made me feel like anything going on inside didn't matter to anyone as long as the outside got smaller, even if the weight I was losing was coming out of my muscles, including my heart.

    Our society is so obsessed with weight we think it's an unconditional compliment to point out that someone has lost weight, and often it is. It isn't your failing to be embarrassed by the comments, it's just indicative of our social infatuation with all things skinny. It's a social flaw that too many people don't even think about even as they participate in it.

    I know that probably wasn't a very helpful response, but hey, at least you aren't alone in the awkwardness!
  • appleseeds
    appleseeds Posts: 212 Member
    So horibly embarrassed. My automatic reaction is something of an embarrassed 'really? Maybe...idont know....I don't really oay attention....mutter mutter *turn-away-from-customer-at-work-and-drink-water-so-i-can-try-and-stop-myself-going-red.

    Since I joined the gym I just laugh and say I work out all the time. I feel like when i talk about fitness its OK but when its talking about weight/fat its horrid
  • I'm not embarrassed by the weight loss, but by the actual # itself. When people ask me how much weight I've lost, it's actually hard to say the #. By doing so its like I'm giving away actually how much I used to weigh.:blushing: I don't know why, but I do hate doing this sometimes.
    Me too! I was asked the other day and I didn't like it,, I mean,, I am doing good, but to say I weigh 250.. oh come on.
  • russelljclarke
    russelljclarke Posts: 836 Member
    Nope, not embarrassed at all, and I can take all the nice comments people are willing to give. I hated being fat, and I love that I'm fit and healthy again now.
  • I have a tip to get around this.

    As you lose weight, begin to wear a fat suit every day. Make the fat suit increasingly large by adding extra cushioning as you lose more and more, so your weight loss is completely invisible.

    Then when you've lost 50lbs take the fat suit off and give everyone a shocker, and get it all over and done with in 1 day.

    Perfect!

    awesome, if a little sweaty!

    The sweat would just go further to convince them you're still an unfit porker.

    Only you would know better. It's like espionage.

    Sorta.



    Utter genius haha!
  • caramkoala
    caramkoala Posts: 303 Member
    I know exactly what you mean! I don't really like any comments about my weight at all, I find it really uncomfortable to think that people are even watching my weight, you know?

    Like, it's great to be told 'you look nice' but when people say 'you look great, have you lost weight?' I feel mortified!

    This. tell me I look good, great, healthy. Don't tell me I look lighter!
  • Be proud and confident in who you are no matter what shape or size. Be extra proud and confident if you are working to improve your health. Weight loss is not an easy demon to tackle. Congratulations.

    I was always told that if you knew all the more people thought of your looks, you would worry a lot less.

    Have a healthy day. :smile:
  • Kristalmyah
    Kristalmyah Posts: 8 Member
    I'm not embarrassed by the weight loss, but by the actual # itself. When people ask me how much weight I've lost, it's actually hard to say the #. By doing so its like I'm giving away actually how much I used to weigh.:blushing: I don't know why, but I do hate doing this sometimes.

    Don't feel obligated to satiate their nosiness! People ask questions that are none of their business.

    Kudos to you on your loss - you should be proud of all of your hard work and determination! Awesome, awesome job.
  • Bubdog1
    Bubdog1 Posts: 72
    Oh, yes, I have these feelings, too. I think that when we're heavier, we're almost "invisible". That's what we get used to. Then, when we've lost the weight and someone notices, it's like your magic invisible cape has suddenly been removed and it's uncomfortable to actually be "seen." I know that my first reactiion when someone says something about my weight loss is to downplay it. I ALWAYS say something about how much I've still got to lose. I wish I could just appreciate what I've done so far and not always downplay my accomplishments.
  • mfp_1
    mfp_1 Posts: 516 Member
    It's helpful to learn a few formulas. Here are some suggestions:
    "Thank you" [then say nothing - very powerful when used appropriately]
    "Thank you, I'm getting more exercise"
    "Thank you, I've been using Myfitnesspal - a health and fitness website"

    "Yes, I'm eating better"
    "Yes, I'm looking after my health"
  • I totally understand - especially the invisible bit - since I have lost weight the amount of people that have never spoken to me before are all of a sudden my friend and wanting to know the ins and outs of my personal being. I am very open about my self to my friends and my family but for these people to whom I was invisible before I am not about to tell them anything to personal.

    They then give me a complement about my loss which I dismiss and then they continue with - I remember you when you were huge and used to wear your husbands clothes bla bla bla and some how there nice comments are wiped away with horrible memories!

    I know they are trying to be nice - but I would rather they kept it zipped
  • lexoxoc
    lexoxoc Posts: 135 Member
    I completely understand where you are coming from. Personally though I turned around all those comments and made them into positives. Instead of just accepting them I embraced them in that, I used them to motivate those around me. When someone says, "you lost weight!" I say, "Thank you! I've been using MyFitnessPal it's a life changer!" and usually we'll get into a conversation about how/what MFP is all about and I inspire that person to use MFP as well. Kinda cheesy but it made me feel a lot better!
  • PhiSigAmber
    PhiSigAmber Posts: 44 Member
    I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have tried explaining this feeling to my close friends & family, but I guess it's one of those things that's hard to explain. I'm not necessarily embarrassed that I've lost weight, but I am definitely more self-conscious about my body.
  • Thank you for putting this up here. It makes me feel less kooky knowing that other people are the same way. :-D
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