Please read diaries before commenting

2

Replies

  • tamheath
    tamheath Posts: 702 Member
    I see the OP's point. Have wondered when I see a friend's diary has fast food for all 3 meals, yet she DID keep it under calorie limit. we all have some crazy-food days, but this particular friend does have alot to learn about healthy foods. If I am her "friend' should I not attempt to give some guidance, and point out: "Hey, why don't you make a sandwich tonight at home?!" LOL.... In fact, i DID finally do that, and we had some great conversations about it. On the other hand, I don't have time to review everyone's diary. Can't win. :grumble:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    MissFit I am aware of that but it's just to make sure I'm doing it. If I just log in I'm not 100% sure if I've done it. By physichally closing the diary and typing 'Not logged' I am making sure I'm logging in :)

    You can save notes in your diary without having to hit the "complete" button. All the "complete" button does is post it to your wall and give you an expected weight projection.
  • tamheath
    tamheath Posts: 702 Member
    [/quote]

    So then maybe instead of the OP posting a passive aggressive topic about her MFP friends, she should just confront them directly and delete them if she finds their compliments empty... I think we could go back and forth on this subject. If she were my MFP friend, and I stumbled upon this topic knowing it was about me, meh, I'd delete her. No time for that.
    [/quote]

    True that. I wouldn't have gotten cranky at my friends over such a thing. :laugh:
  • ttrussel
    ttrussel Posts: 99 Member
    I always read before I comment. I do not want to congratulate people for eating 700 calories. :(


    I feel the same. I am not going to congratulate someone for not eating enough calories nor am I going to congratulate someone who is under their calories but has a private diary.

    "Congratulations" and "Way to go's"are saved for those who made healthy choice, not because they stayed under their calories.



    And if we can't do that we don't comment, right? I am not one to criticize....I am not a FITNESS EXPERT but I do encourage and feel encouraged when friends post.
  • EricNCSU
    EricNCSU Posts: 699 Member
    you're seriously complaining about encouragement? *sigh*

    Yes.. she has a valid point. When someone has a daily goal of 1200 calories, and they do 900 calories worth of exercise to bump them up to 2100 and then they only eat 500 calories for the day? They do NOT need to be told GOOD JOB for behavior that will make them sick and not help them lose weight. -400 calories for the day is the WRONG kind of deficit. And like some on here could be indication of a eating disorder that does not need to encouraged.

    If you want to encourage people to kill themselves, go right ahead.
  • tamheath
    tamheath Posts: 702 Member
    See.... I don't even know how to quote correctly. Ah, well. Next.
  • alienblonde1
    alienblonde1 Posts: 749 Member
    You don't have to log food or exercise to be counted as logging in daily. You just have to log onto this site is all. I'm with them why enter a blank diary?

    I was commenting wtg on buddies diaries without checking them all. To me just logging your food deserves a wtg. If I check someone's diary and they are under 1200, I will check their diary and see if this is normal or just for the day. If consistently below I will speak my mind to them.
  • theroadto100
    theroadto100 Posts: 209 Member
    I think its nice when people encourage others, so I don't think we should be criticizing them for not looking at diaries.

    But what is encouraging or "validating" if the person knows their diary is actually *kitten* for the day but because of lack of logging or lack of eating properly they're "shown" under their calories for the day so people blanket comment..."good job" ? It just goes to show people are not truly taking an interest in the diary and giving empty compliments. At least from my perspective.

    So then maybe instead of the OP posting a passive aggressive topic about her MFP friends, she should just confront them directly and delete them if she finds their compliments empty... I think we could go back and forth on this subject. If she were my MFP friend, and I stumbled upon this topic knowing it was about me, meh, I'd delete her. No time for that.

    I don't think this was passive aggressive at all... just a suggestion she made. A valid one, in my opinion.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    you're seriously complaining about encouragement? *sigh*

    Yes.. he has a valid point. When someone has a daily goal of 1200 calories, and they do 900 calories worth of exercise to bump them up to 2100 and then they only eat 500 calories for the day? They do NOT need to be told GOOD JOB for behavior that will make them sick and not help them lose weight. -400 calories for the day is the WRONG kind of deficit. And like some on here could be indication of a eating disorder that does not need to encouraged.

    If you want to encourage people to kill themselves, go right ahead.

    It is not your place to decide what eating practices are good or bad for someone. Grossly obese individuals can net below their calorie goals and safely lose weight without health issues. It is not until they approach an overweight BMI that eating calories back becomes necessary. And many people on a VLCD prescribed by their doctors. It is just not your place to wave the ED label around at your friends when you don't know them personally, and have absolutely no idea what their situation is.
  • moniquelessard
    moniquelessard Posts: 418
    you're seriously complaining about encouragement? *sigh*

    Yes.. he has a valid point. When someone has a daily goal of 1200 calories, and they do 900 calories worth of exercise to bump them up to 2100 and then they only eat 500 calories for the day? They do NOT need to be told GOOD JOB for behavior that will make them sick and not help them lose weight. -400 calories for the day is the WRONG kind of deficit. And like some on here could be indication of a eating disorder that does not need to encouraged.

    If you want to encourage people to kill themselves, go right ahead.

    well none of my mfp friends do that, so I don't encourage people to kill themselves. But thanks for adding that dramatic comment at the end. lol. I'm sure the OP's MFP friends have seen his/her past diary entries, and probably know that he/she is not anorexic. I think the OP should give 'em a break. The intent was good.
  • hoosierdaddy75
    hoosierdaddy75 Posts: 5
    Just so I can make sure I'm logging in every day.

    Logging in is great, but if you are closing your diary with inaccuracy, then what good is it doing you?
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
    ^^ Thank you. It's not a go at my friends. I have wonderful friends on this site and there are some I love dearly and truly appreciate. But after getting a number of comments on those days I was a tad confused that's all.

    I've also known people to comment on diaries where people are WAY under calories and are acting in an unhealthy manner. I've been defriended by people when I've made constructive criticisms. I've defriended people who reacted badly to these comments. That's the way of this site.
    Yeah, just remove it from your feed in http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/news_feed_settings

    Then no one will know, no one will comment.

    Thank you for this helpful comment! I will do that from now on. (and yes it's my little bit of OCD to close the diary)
    Logging in is great, but if you are closing your diary with inaccuracy, then what good is it doing you?

    It's not to keep track of my food. It's to make sure I'm logging in to keep my days up. That is all I'm worried about during this week. I like my high days!
  • alienblonde1
    alienblonde1 Posts: 749 Member
    When you have 100+ friends and you spend a lot of time keeping up with and commenting on their progress, it's difficult to read each and every diary, every day.

    Rather than to expect all of your friends to look at your zero diary everyday, better that you stop closing it out.

    EXACTLY!
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    I should add that maybe the OP is misunderstanding her MFP friends. By saying "good job" they may just mean "good job logging on today".
    I totally agree.....
  • staceyb2003
    staceyb2003 Posts: 203 Member
    I think people comment when they have seen that you are under your calorie goal to be nice. I am thankful for the fact they even took the time to comment. I do however feel really good, when someone comments on what I have eaten. I think "wow, they actually took the time to look at my diary" .
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    The folks I have as friends here are folks that have proven themselves to be capable of taking care of themselves, and reach out when they might have an issue going on. I really don't need to see their diary to inspect what is going on. In fact, some have their diaries set to "private". I'll congratulate them regardless -- because I trust them, and it's really none of my business to inspect. If I do, it's out of sheer curiosity and idea mining.

    Perhaps you should re-evaluate your friends list.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    Logging in is great, but if you are closing your diary with inaccuracy, then what good is it doing you?
    It's not to keep track of my food. It's to make sure I'm logging in to keep my days up. That is all I'm worried about during this week. I like my high days!
    You don't have to close your day out to accomplish that.
  • tchrnmommy
    tchrnmommy Posts: 342 Member

    It is not your place to decide what eating practices are good or bad for someone. .....

    Judging from the number of posts you have to the forum, you have definately been around here long enough to know that's EXACTLY how MFP people operate. LOL....sorry...I'm fixated on that sentence...what your saying as a whole is totally valid, but sooo many at MFP DO make it "their" place to decide what eating practices are good or bad and vocalize it....read ANY of the threads on HCG...LMAO! Just saying ;)
  • frugalmomsrock
    frugalmomsrock Posts: 1,123
    Haha...I've felt the same way before. Or I'll look at someone else's diary after people have commented "WTG" or "GOOD JOB" and the person logged like 1 VERY HIGH CALORIE/FAT meal...I'm like really? LOL So I usually comment something snarky....but that's also why people friend me because I'm brutally honest ;)
    What's it to you if someone eats a high cal/high fat meal? If they have the fat/macros/cals remaining... then good for them. If they don't-it's not your job to do anything about it.

    see? Diary police are everywhere! They're everywhere!
  • Phoenix24601
    Phoenix24601 Posts: 620 Member
    I try to read diaries more often before I comment. There are some people on my friends list that have asked me for help with accountability because I have recovered from an ED after seven years. I agree that if it is in that nature that the diary should be read and commented on; honestly I don't want to congratulate/ encourage the behavior that controlled me for years - I am there for support not just a pat on the back. However, If I have a friend that I know always eats right, I might look at theirs every other day, but typically its a WTG. :flowerforyou:
  • hebbsgrrl
    hebbsgrrl Posts: 77 Member
    Does just 'logging in' count for anything?

    Shouldn't you strive to log in your food, whether good or bad, to make that conscious effort to do better, be healthier and lose those unwanted pounds??

    Just sayin'....

    thats right i agree
  • mommyoverboard
    mommyoverboard Posts: 105
    OK my question is this... you don't REALLY know people on the site - but if you see someones diary and they are killing themself on workouts and eating bare minimum... at what point do you become concerned? Just ignore? Defriend? I mean... I don't know anyone well enough to be getting all personal with them, or isn't that the point? IDK
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member

    It is not your place to decide what eating practices are good or bad for someone. .....

    Judging from the number of posts you have to the forum, you have definately been around here long enough to know that's EXACTLY how MFP people operate. LOL....sorry...I'm fixated on that sentence...what your saying as a whole is totally valid, but sooo many at MFP DO make it "their" place to decide what eating practices are good or bad and vocalize it....read ANY of the threads on HCG...LMAO! Just saying ;)

    Yes I do know this. Drives me batty and it seems like I am wasting my breath, but I still feel it necessary to defend an individual's right to make their own choices. If you are concerned that a friend's eating habits aren't healthy, then you can inquire about them, but I think it is wrong to judge. But the world is full of hypocrites and I certainly realize that I will never be able to change that. :ohwell:
  • hebbsgrrl
    hebbsgrrl Posts: 77 Member
    Just so I can make sure I'm logging in every day.

    Logging in is great, but if you are closing your diary with inaccuracy, then what good is it doing you?
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    As a scientist, I try to comment on people's diaries after reading them, but I also try not to judge their choices. If they make different choices than I would have, I still comment because at least they logged what they ate, and that keeps them accountable.

    I'm not here to police anyone. Just to support them.
  • yager8725
    yager8725 Posts: 267 Member
    thats what happens when you "friend" to many people!
  • Maryee71
    Maryee71 Posts: 434 Member
    I can understand where the OP is coming from.
    This is why I keep my friends to a minimum and people that I feel I have something in common with.
    I don't remark on anyone's diary that I can't see. I think the whole point for having friends on here is
    to be able to get honest feedback. Otherwise, everyone would keep their diaries closed I've wondered
    why anyone would have more than 20 friends on mfp.

    I learned something from this topic. I thought you had to close out your diary for it to count towards your
    days posting, so thanks for that.
  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
    Oh, I'm SO guilty of saying good job on a diary without reading it... but ONLY if someone else said it first! :ohwell:
  • Tainers
    Tainers Posts: 21
    I wouldn't automatically fault someone for eating 700 calories....I am under a weight loss doctors care and I am not suppose to eat more than 1000 calories a day and usually I am in the 700 range....but I watch my protein which is suppose to be between 90-125grams, carbs under 50grams and sugar under 30grams....I was also instructed not to log in my veggies....which I eat a ton of btw....Im also not suppose to log my exercise per my doctor....so far so good...I have lost 20lbs in just under a month and not a single pound of that has been lean mass lost!!! :smile:

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  • DterMined2012
    DterMined2012 Posts: 540 Member
    Feel free to send those lying sacks of shoes to my page lol i need as many "WTG'S" as i can get!
    LOL!! sorry I couldn't resist laughing
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