lack of support

Christinemary6
Christinemary6 Posts: 60 Member
edited October 14 in Motivation and Support
I do not have many friends on MFP, and two of the ones I have I consider to be real friends. We talk about our lives and our loves and our fears. We share.

BUT. Then there are the others who seem to want support but who NEVER comment back. "Look at me....I've done wonderful blah de blah...." their other friends say "Wow! You have done soooo well....at blah de blah!" but these "friends" never comment on what I do.

Am feeling disgruntled.

Am I over-reacting?

I asked about this once before. A young man who had asked to be my friend just told me to "lighten up. The MFP friends aren't real; they're just a bit of fluff to help oil the wheels of this weight loss stuff."

I think MFP friends are real. I think that is why I am so upset at being ignored by some. I think I will "un-friend" them.

What do you think?

Replies

  • MsD1984
    MsD1984 Posts: 36 Member
    It's nice to have replies, and motivation - so I don't understand why people add and NEVER comment on anything other than their own stuff. I'm here if you want a commenting friend :)
  • EmmaShorter
    EmmaShorter Posts: 298
    I used to have a fair few friends and hardly got any comments. One day I decided I wanted a smaller selection so I could comment on them and vice versa. I decided to got rid of any friends that had not logged in for a number of days as a start.
  • xraychick77
    xraychick77 Posts: 1,775 Member
    i have friends on here..i ignore them all.

    its like facebook..i have tons of friends..but I ignore most of them.

    or on xbox live or PSN..people send friend requests..i accept and the never play with them..i'm just like whatever.

    but thats just me..so i guess i wouldnt be a good 'friend'
  • chrissylove08
    chrissylove08 Posts: 1
    No I dnt think your over reacting we all need encouragement from fellow friends that's why you add them in the first place so just erase the ones that show no support and add ones that will keep your head up your doing great and stay motivated with positive energy :)
  • jackieb1977
    jackieb1977 Posts: 195 Member
    hi,
    i know how you feel, have been on here for a week have posted lots in the forums but for some reason just seen to always get bypassed or ignored, its a bit dishertening when i have a lots to lose, everybody says they want to be supportive but dont. feel free to add me.
    a few words of encouragment can go along way, if you feel these 'friends' are not supporting you in your weight loss then yes id unfriend them as thats why we all here and if we make real friends along the way then thats an added bonus.
  • antheamerwood
    antheamerwood Posts: 1
    Hi Christine, understandably you are annoyed at not getting any feedback on your progress, I have found that motivation comes from the support networks you create. I have been struggling with my weight for over a year now since I had my son and I have yet to create such a network that can help me. I hope you find what your looking for and don't give up as so many people have.
  • missalicia78
    missalicia78 Posts: 40
    I don't think you're complaining at all. I agree. I just recently got serious about this and, right now, most of my MFP friends are also my coworkers, and so we just talk at work. But I've actively sought out people in my area to be MFP pals hoping for online support (and maybe, eventually, offline workout pals). I've actively encouraged them while, day after day, my comment thread remains blank. I mean, I can't get to everyone's thread every day, but I like to leave a little comment when I can.

    The thing is that I don't *need* friends on here to succeed, but I think it's a nice perk, and I want to be active in this "community" so that I stick with this. And if you're going to put out a request for friends in the forums in the first place (which most of them did, that's how I found them) then, hey, be an active friend! :) Right?
  • missalicia78
    missalicia78 Posts: 40
    P.S. If anyone would like to add me, feel free.
  • bignuce
    bignuce Posts: 52 Member
    I am very supportive. If you want to add me. Delete the unsupportive people they are not helping you.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    I have many friends because I feel like I have a lot of knowledge to offer and try to support as many as I can. I do get a lot of requests because my weight loss successes, and I accept them all. That being said, I only interact frequently with the ones who interact with me. If someone messages me for advice, then I get back to them. If I see a post with someone having a bad day, I will respond with encouragement. I do watch to see if people are active. I will delete anyone who is gone more than 14 days because that means they are not serious and committed. I am fairly active in my forum, so if you want someone who will interact with you back, feel free to add me.

    Mary Ann
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/iddreams/view/overcoming-the-obesity-mindset-194711
  • Christinemary6
    Christinemary6 Posts: 60 Member
    Thank you! I feel better knowing I'm not alone in how I feel.

    :flowerforyou:
  • WalkWoman
    WalkWoman Posts: 34 Member
    Gosh, never realised people felt like this. Going to go comment on all my friends pages right now.
  • missalicia78
    missalicia78 Posts: 40
    Gosh, never realised people felt like this. Going to go comment on all my friends pages right now.

    I don't think it's that big of a deal for some. I mean, like I said, the people I know offline I rarely to never comment on. My issue (and it's not really even an issue, per se) is, if you're asking for support and asking people to add you or adding me because you want support then interact with me. I recently added a handful of people, and I comment pretty regularly, yet I have no comments on my thread. I mean, let's all give each other a leg up; otherwise, why add me in the first place?
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