Massive eating binge and need help recovering...

jassie28 · January 2012

So its kind of a long story but to be more to the point I had a HUGE massive binge eating period for over 8hrs. I'm nott talking cookies here and there but whole box of crackers. Chinese food, bag of candy, bowls of cereal, slice of pizza, etc... Just non stop eating. I feel so awful and want to recover. I've never ate this much on a diet and been on binges way less that have cause me to just get super depressed. My story is I lost a ton of weight a few years ago and gained it right back when falling right into depression. Decided again to go for the weight lost I was 20lbs near my goal and now I go and have this uncontrollable binge.

I'm already struggling because I eat about 700-800 calories a day if I'm lucky and that is just in recent weeks when I've tried to up my calories. I've been exercising like mad burning supposedly up near 600-1100 a day. I knew this was wrong but when adding in foods and seeing past 600 I get scared and have been losing the weight. Well something just snapped in me and I lost all control and now my thought process is to go and starve for a few days and slowly get back to my "normal" and hope it goes back to losing the 2-3lbs a week I was doing. I just need help and don't know what to do. I know everyone says just eat but don't get how hard that is for me. When I lost weight before I literally was eating 420cal 3 days a week and no eating for 2 days and then maybe 600 cal the other day. Then I snapped and ate non stop for months as I feared going back to what I was going through with eating so little and stressing eating a raisin. It was awful but the breakdown made me gain all my weight back in as little as 5 months which again was over 100 plus. Now, I wasn't as active as I am now which worries me about now. I go to the gym 5 days a week plus a mixed marital art class 2-3 days a week and work out on a gazelle for 20-30 mins on most days. Today I don't want to go to gym and know I won't until tomorrow which is my normal schedule as I work at night and go in the morning but I don't want to go through the weakness and crying fits I went through before. To be honest I'm still in "Well I might as well eat all I can as I won't eat for the next 2 weeks " mode. I need to sleep for work (where I literally am sitting for 10 plus hours which make s me work out harder and I hate working out, this is even new to me for the past 2 months)) but feel and am so fat and bloated I can't.

UGH! Its so hard because I'm so scared to gain and I know the damage tonight I did would show a good 10 or more weight gain. I just don't know how to recover or what to do. I so would love to eat 1200 cal. a day and work out like a do and lose weight but know I screwed myself so bad that its not going to happen. I've lost a good 120lbs in 6-7 months and now with the added pressure of everyone seeing and commenting I just feel at my wit ends. I don't know how to be "normal" its one extreme or the other. I just want to recover from this and move forward. Any advice.

Jasmine

havingitall · January 2012

First of all...eating so few calories a day and exercising like a fiend isn't good. You seem to be going overboard on this. The binge was probably your body telling you you needed fuel.

Stop what you are doing because it probably isn't working for you. Eat 5 - 6 small meals a day and exercise reasonably. If you cannot do this on your own, seek professional help.

Good luck!

ALH1981 · January 2012

you actually sound like you have a eating disorder. I would advice you to go and see a dietitian or nutritionist and share this story..... you need to learn the element for a sustainable, healthy life, not quick weight loss which is a wave of starve and binges. 400-700 calories for the rtest of your life is not sustainable and if you think it is you are putting yourself in line for boughs of depression for the rest of your life.

I suggest working on the physiological aspect of why you are doing this, and learn gin the healthy way to lose and maintain.

em9371 · January 2012

same as previous posts, i would advise you to see your Dr or nutritionist.
if you have only 20lb left to lose, you shouldnt aim for 2lb per week as your body will not have enough fat left to lose this amount while keeping at a healthy calorie level (minimum 1200net).

tinie25 · January 2012

Hi, I actually went through something similar in highschool, the low calorie intake, the obsessive calorie burning, the feeling like crap when you F*** up...but its not healthy for your body or your mental state.. when you're starving yourself you're going to binge! your starving! your body NEEDS energy and you're not giving it enough when you dont eat for 2 days or 2 weeks..so when you do eat again your metabolism is sooo slow that its going to take in every bit of energy you give it because it won't know when its going to get that energy again .. I understand your frustration however it sounds as though you have to work on your emotional issues before you can ever achieve maintaining a healthy weight and finding the balance. and dont be so hard on yourself youve lost a tonne of weight!! gain some confidence girl!

jassie28 · January 2012

Thank you all for the advice and I don't want to seem ungrateful because I really am that you would take your time out to respond. Its just I know what I am doing is wrong. I really did try to go into this weight lost doing better but once again it got out of hand but hey this time I was eating 3 times a day. Sure it was 100 cal "dinner" and 500 total made up my breakfast and lunch and snack but it was better then before and honestly I felt fine.I wanted badly to fix that and figured that I would reach my goal, go 10lbs under and then up my calories as I was bound to gain at least that, INow, I don't even know how to go back to my "normal as I said which is what I want right now and not to go and not eat for the new few days. I just snapped big time and felt it coming. After I posted went and ate about 400 cal. I just don't know how to recover for today. after I wake up how I start. I know I need to seek professional help, but I just don't know how to go about it (no health insurance here). This is so taxing and its so emotional because I was having a great week emotionally and physically, then boom. Now, I've probably taken in 14,000 calories honesty its been so bad in the past 9hrs. Thanks for any advice and the kind words.

MaximalLife · January 2012

So its kind of a long story but to be more to the point I had a HUGE massive binge eating period for over 8hrs. I'm nott talking cookies here and there but whole box of crackers. Chinese food, bag of candy, bowls of cereal, slice of pizza, etc... Just non stop eating. I feel so awful and want to recover. I've never ate this much on a diet and been on binges way less that have cause me to just get super depressed. My story is I lost a ton of weight a few years ago and gained it right back when falling right into depression. Decided again to go for the weight lost I was 20lbs near my goal and now I go and have this uncontrollable binge.

I'm already struggling because I eat about 700-800 calories a day if I'm lucky and that is just in recent weeks when I've tried to up my calories. I've been exercising like mad burning supposedly up near 600-1100 a day. I knew this was wrong but when adding in foods and seeing past 600 I get scared and have been losing the weight. Well something just snapped in me and I lost all control and now my thought process is to go and starve for a few days and slowly get back to my "normal" and hope it goes back to losing the 2-3lbs a week I was doing. I just need help and don't know what to do. I know everyone says just eat but don't get how hard that is for me. When I lost weight before I literally was eating 420cal 3 days a week and no eating for 2 days and then maybe 600 cal the other day. Then I snapped and ate non stop for months as I feared going back to what I was going through with eating so little and stressing eating a raisin. It was awful but the breakdown made me gain all my weight back in as little as 5 months which again was over 100 plus. Now, I wasn't as active as I am now which worries me about now. I go to the gym 5 days a week plus a mixed marital art class 2-3 days a week and work out on a gazelle for 20-30 mins on most days. Today I don't want to go to gym and know I won't until tomorrow which is my normal schedule as I work at night and go in the morning but I don't want to go through the weakness and crying fits I went through before. To be honest I'm still in "Well I might as well eat all I can as I won't eat for the next 2 weeks " mode. I need to sleep for work (where I literally am sitting for 10 plus hours which make s me work out harder and I hate working out, this is even new to me for the past 2 months)) but feel and am so fat and bloated I can't.

UGH! Its so hard because I'm so scared to gain and I know the damage tonight I did would show a good 10 or more weight gain. I just don't know how to recover or what to do. I so would love to eat 1200 cal. a day and work out like a do and lose weight but know I screwed myself so bad that its not going to happen. I've lost a good 120lbs in 6-7 months and now with the added pressure of everyone seeing and commenting I just feel at my wit ends. I don't know how to be "normal" its one extreme or the other. I just want to recover from this and move forward. Any advice.

Jasmine

I did this Thursday of last week.
My recovery?
Lots and lots of cardio and clean eating - and you need to reconsider how much you are eating normally.
Follow MFP recommendations for 1 lb weekly weight loss. But you already know this.

And don't beat yourself up. I thought I was way past this, but no.

And so we learn, gather energies and MOVE ON!

Helloitsdan · January 2012

Yay cheat day!

PreacherRam · January 2012

You might want to consider finding Overeaters Anonymous. This is a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous but can give you support when you feel like going on a binge.

SwankyTomato · January 2012

First of all I would encourage professional help as well. You do sound like you have an eating disorder. Previous poster is right, there are free support groups out there if you really need to talk to someone.

Second eating 700/calories a day is not good for you. You need a minimum of 1200 calories a day for body function. So first order of business is for you to change your caloric intake for the day.

Third if you are exercising that much, you have to increase your caloric intake. If you are tracking what you what you eat & exercise on this site then it will tell you how many calories you need to eat for the day to be healthy.

Don't worry about the binge, it is not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of life. That was just your body telling you that you need to change your daily calorie intake. Stand up, take notice and make some changes to your daily routine.

Elf_Princess1210 · January 2012

No wonder!!! You're not eating enough! Up your caloric intake and you won't binge eat.

imjustlisa · January 2012

I noticed that you don't have any friends on here so maybe you just joined. You don't have insurance to seek out professional help so look for it here. There are some great people on here that will give great advice. Don't seek out those that will help you do the same as you are doing now, starving your body and working out like a mad woman because you will find some who will tell you what you want to hear. Look for some who talk healthy lifestyle, adequate calories for your body size, achievable goals. I have some great friends on my profile, friend me or check them them out. Read some blogs and posts. I did this and it suddenly just clicked. I can't starve myself like this and plan to do this my entire life. But yes I can eat alot of healthy foods and occasionally endulge with no guilty feelings because 80 to 90% of the time i am living well and eating well. I hope this helps, you sound so desperate to get the magic answer and it may not come to you so quickly. Good luck to you.

grobbygru · January 2012

I agree with the others about seeing a Dr or dietician but I will just tell you what happens to me also. When I get stressed I can't eat - regrets I have had a lot of stress over the last 9 years or so - so I sometimes will get by on a few calories for a day or so (happened earlier this week) and then - once the stress subsides I eat like there is no tomorrrow - not crap tho because I just don't do that stuff - but I actually get VERY hungry which is usually a non existant feeling for me for some strange reason (working on it by doing MFP and I am getting way better) so I think from having very few calories for like two days - then my body catches up - so just a thought with you eating so little calories often - your body will just scream hunger at you just to get nutrients if nothing else - remember so many functions are dependant on fuelling the body.

floshideaway · January 2012

You absolutely need to invest in professional help. You have taken the first step by putting in writing the erratic way you are eating. You are destroying your health both physical and mental and are heading to much worse if you do not act soon. MFP is a great support system but first you need to pinpoint exactly the cause of your behavior. We are all here to help you but we cannot replace a professional counselor. I wish you the best of luck, I know you have it in you to succeed. Add me as a friend.

tenax · January 2012

+1 to everyone who posted smart and common sense advice. to the original poster, know you are loved, get help and if you need to get anything else out of your system thats at the root of this, talk to people wherevdr u need to including here. take care.

graysmom2005 · January 2012

Hi Jasmine,

Welcome and thank you for having the courage to tell us your story. You absolutely sound like you have a pretty in depth eating disorder, and you really need to meet with a dr and therapist. Eating so few calories is so dangerous...especially when working out that much. Your body is then SCREAMING at you that it needs food and you binge. That binge is your body's reaction to being given so little. There is no balance, and I think therapy and a nutritionist are the only way to go to find that balance and to figure out why this is going on with you. You CAN beat this, you just need the right resources. Good luck and keep us posted!

empage81 · January 2012

Hi there,

We can give you all the advice in the world about eating more etc etc but I think you already know this. It is really difficult to sort out anything in your life if your head isnt working quite right. I have had many an issue. Being healthy isnt just about weight but it is about lifestyle, day to day experiences and most importantly your mind. It is difficult to get anything else sorted if your mind isnt there.

Although I lived in the US for a year I am british so I am unsure how the health insurance thing works. If you can at all please go to a doctor, can you go to a free clinic? Tell them what is happening, and be honest. If seeing a doctor just isnt possible (and make sure it really really isnt as I gave myself every excuse when dealing with issues in my head in the past) then see if there are support groups in your area for depression and/or eating disorders. Go to local community centres or libraries and look at thier notice boards to see what is happening. There are other people out there with the same and similar issues no matter how alone you feel.

I have added you feel free to accept but I will also not be offended if you dont want to.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. I used to be in debt and obese. Now I am just obese but sorting that out and enjoying doing so. Sometimes I have a really brilliant day sometimes I have a terrible day but for the last few years my average has been stable and good. You can do this. And if you massively fail one day that does NOT mean YOU are a failure. Forgive yourself, move on, seek help.

Good luck, look after yourself.

kamoira23 · January 2012

I agree with many of the posters. You may be able to find an independent nutritionist/social worker/therapist with a sliding fee schedule that is income-based if you don't have insurance... some may even be lower than $100 an hour.. It may seem like a lot of money now, but your body cannot possibly function well on so little calories over long periods of time. In the long run, money spent on a nutritionist now is much better than money spent for doctors or hospitals later if your body can't function.

Your profile says you live in Beverly Hills, so here is a list of professionals who work with eating disorders in your area. One session is better than no session. http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?city=Beverly+Hills&county=Los+Angeles&state=CA&spec=9

Good luck to you!

jewelswye · January 2012

Get professional help if you can. You need to do something and it wont happen overnight. you will still have days of lapsing. Maybe you should just try to maintain. How many calories are you supposed to eat a day?? Are you being unrealistic in your weight goal?? Cut down on the exercise. that amount of exercise is crazy!!! lol. But I do understand to a certain extent why you feel the need. It feels good for the scales to go down as fast as possible. After exercising you feel good and setting yourself very few calories and managing it feels good. But then when your body says enoughs enough you binge coz your will power cannot last forever then your become depressed. You need to figure out why you need soo much control over ur food and exercise. Good luck on ur journey

Nana_Booboo · January 2012

You just basically told my story. I've lost 80-100 pounds 3 times. The SAME 80-100 pounds. The depression of gaining is so unbearable sometimes I just want to go to bed and sleep forever.

HOWEVER, years of dieting and depriving is over for me. I recently discovered this little formula that finally makes total sense to me and is working for me.

by the way, I absolutely hate exercising vigorously. I'm not lazy, I'll do my 40 mins-1h 5-6 times a week once I get back into the swing. I do love water aerobics, I'm good at it and I don't get overly winded.

This is what snapped for me and maybe will help you:
Can you all help me out as to if I got this straight in my head and the reason that I've failed so many times at losing and keeping my weight off???

If I eat 1200 and exercise off 400 my body only gets 800 cal. This "could" eventually cause me to not lose or lose extremely slowly. Years of dieting and depriving and have caused me to fail several times. HOWEVER, it low calorie obviously works, people that has had gastric surgeries have lost weight this way for a long time,

A basic diet of 2000 cal plus exercise 2-5 times a week is the "normal" maintainable diet for most humans, correct? That's why most labels say "for a 2000 cal diet"

However, I still want to lose weight.

So for example, I take in 1800, exercise 600 bring my total calories in back down to 1200 thus having a deficit from a maintainable diet of 2000 cal of 800 cal a day that with in a weeks time is 5600 cal. That should give you a 1.5 lb loss.

If this is correct thinking, I think at age 42 I've finally figured out my life long struggle!!!

Elleramanda · January 2012

When I was going through my divorce, I was seeing a counselor. I have insurance, but it didn't really cover mental health visits. She told me that any good counselor out there will work with you to get you the help you need because they want you to be well. So I paid on a sliding scale.

Depression is hard. Once I got my depression under control, and stopped the cycle of self loathing, my eating also got under control. You need to eat well. I know it's easier said than done, but you wouldn't drive your car without gas would you? You can't run your body on empty either. When it doesn't have the nutrients it needs, it takes them from other places - muscles, bones, etc... leaving you weaker. Plus, you have to consider, your body burns like 1300 calories a day, just on it's own, without any exercise.

You deserve to be happy and healthy.

Massive eating binge and need help recovering...

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