Death in the family...moving forward?

kmozymoz · January 2012

So history has sort of repeated itself on me. I lost my dad to a heart attack when I was 12, and on Friday I lost my sister. We were really close. When I lost my dad, I set on a path of depression and emotional eating that eventually brought me to the weight I'm at currently. Just before losing my sister, my emotional eating was almost completely under control and I was beginning to really get into exercise.

But now I feel myself slipping backwards, and I guess I'm looking for some encouragement or advice or whatever might help keep me on track here. My sister was a big time athletic kind of person and she was really happy that I was starting to get into it with her...so yeah. Anything helps.

Pebble321 · January 2012

So history has sort of repeated itself on me. I lost my dad to a heart attack when I was 12, and on Friday I lost my sister. We were really close. When I lost my dad, I set on a path of depression and emotional eating that eventually brought me to the weight I'm at currently. Just before losing my sister, my emotional eating was almost completely under control and I was beginning to really get into exercise.

But now I feel myself slipping backwards, and I guess I'm looking for some encouragement or advice or whatever might help keep me on track here. My sister was a big time athletic kind of person and she was really happy that I was starting to get into it with her...so yeah. Anything helps.

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your sister, that must be so tough.
My mum passed away last year and the thing that kept me going through the toughest times was running - I managed to keep my eating reasonably under control and made the time to exercise just about every day.
If that was something that was important to your sister, it would be a lovely idea to honour her memory by finding something physical that you love and do it as often as you can. I think of my mum a lot when I'm running - especially when I'm visiting my dad and I run past the hospice where she spent the last few months of her life. It does mean that I'm sometimes teary when I run, but as long as I can still see and don't trip over, that's OK.
Be kind to yourself and take care.

jofromnz · January 2012

I am so sad to hear of your awful loss. I also lost a very, very close friend this year and I know how incredibly awful it feels

At the time I also had a brand new 3 week old baby and it was very, very hard. It wasn't until recently (November, 8 months after her death) that I felt ready to begin this weight loss journey. My friend did not look after her body. I turned those deep feeling of loss and grief into my motivation to get healthy myself (I have alwasy been pretty healthy but just needed to lose the extra weight gained during pregnancy plus a bit more!). I know that my friend would be so proud of me for what I have achieved so far (and what I will have achieved by the time I hit my goal weight - 10.3 kilos away!). I also know that life is too short to be unhappy with one's body/state of health and I plan to take care of my body so I can be around for a long time yet. You might not be ready just yet - I reckon do whatever you need to in order to get through the grief. I was very, very low after her death and I did find (and still do) that exercise has helped me to crawl out of that dark well. Love to you at this most sad time. Kia kaha (I'm from New Zealand and it is a Maori expression meaning stay strong - used often here) xxx

LuckyAng · January 2012

I am so sorry for your loss. Both of them. I lost my Dad in August and put on 20 lbs after. I can't imagine losing a sibling. *hug*

FierceFitBeautiful · January 2012

I'm soooo sorry hun. Nobody deserves the kind of pain I'm sure you're experiencing. Take a while off. You have bigger things to worry about than logging your food and exercise and counting calories. Take time to grieve, spend time with your family, and find yourself. When you're feeling better, try and get back with the exercise.. you said your sister was glad you were getting active, so do it in her honor

Feel free to talk to me if you need anything!

seehawkmomma · January 2012

So history has sort of repeated itself on me. I lost my dad to a heart attack when I was 12, and on Friday I lost my sister. We were really close. When I lost my dad, I set on a path of depression and emotional eating that eventually brought me to the weight I'm at currently. Just before losing my sister, my emotional eating was almost completely under control and I was beginning to really get into exercise.

But now I feel myself slipping backwards, and I guess I'm looking for some encouragement or advice or whatever might help keep me on track here. My sister was a big time athletic kind of person and she was really happy that I was starting to get into it with her...so yeah. Anything helps.

Losing someone you love, especially a close family member can be super tough. Do not be hard on yourself.

And I mean this in the best way possible, but see a professional, to help yourself grieve and move forward when the time is right.

((hugs))

Elizabeth_C34 · January 2012

So history has sort of repeated itself on me. I lost my dad to a heart attack when I was 12, and on Friday I lost my sister. We were really close. When I lost my dad, I set on a path of depression and emotional eating that eventually brought me to the weight I'm at currently. Just before losing my sister, my emotional eating was almost completely under control and I was beginning to really get into exercise.

But now I feel myself slipping backwards, and I guess I'm looking for some encouragement or advice or whatever might help keep me on track here. My sister was a big time athletic kind of person and she was really happy that I was starting to get into it with her...so yeah. Anything helps.

So sorry for your loss.

I lost 4 people in the last 9 months, two of whom were very close to me, and it's been very difficult.

I suggest getting some grief counseling if possible. It has been very good for me coping with all the emotions of grief.

Good luck to you.

Jill_newimprovedversion · January 2012

You have my deepest sympathies. I lost both my parents over the course of 6 yrs, and that is where the bulk of my excess weight came-
just not caring anymore, and turning to food for comfort.

However, even though it took a while to get on track- and CARE about MY health....
I often imagine BOTH of them are my greatest supporters now....and know if they could talk to me,
they would *URGE* me to make better food choices, and do all I CAN to live a healthier life- for the time I have left.

It would be easy to think that your sister's life- and the time she spent focusing on a better health- well, that it wasn't worth it
since her life was cut short.
Don't believe that *lie*- I am sure she never regretted it, and as you walk on, you will make HER and your Dad so very proud of you.

Just be conscious of what you're eating- even if it's junk...that is a big part of the battle.

Allow yourself the time to grieve the loss of someone you love and cherish, but don't turn to food for comfort. It is an empty, cold hearted "friend" in the end.

MaximalLife · January 2012

Just feeling your pain and expressing it is healing.
“There is no grief like the grief that does not speak” --- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

LGOllie · January 2012

Sorry for your loss! It is so hard to lose our loved ones. It almost doesn't seem real and it is. A huge whole in our heart that takes forever to mend. This is a time to reach out to others and let others support you. Don't turn to food. It doesn't give you back any love. Pray and ask others to pray for you. Exercise, get counseling, write...find other releases. Volunteer time helping at a homeless center! This is a great site to share your feelings and get support. God bless you! I will pray for you! I know the pain.

kmozymoz · January 2012

Thank you everyone. This helps, I will read and re-read it when I feel tempted. You all are great.

Death in the family...moving forward?

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