whyyyyyy

10 lbs lost, sounds like you've already started.

I prefer easing into things. Start logging what you eat now, without trying to decrease anything. (You'll decrease automatically, just out of guilt.) 90% of making this work is being faithful at logging.

Then try to reduce portions by imperceptible amounts -- a teaspoon less of this, a tablespoon less of that. Gradually decrease until you are eating your goal calories. The idea is to learn weight maintenance before you worry about weight loss. Then you don't have to worry about putting all the calories back on.

wellll I lost 10 pounds last time I havent been on in about 8 months and gained that plus about ten more back ... I need to log it in... probably tomorrow morning

I think you should start it right NOW! Don't put it away for next day. Just now.

I am having the hardest time getting started. food that used to work for me works no longer I don't know why. maybe because I am older now with a slower metabolism...

"food that used to work for you?"

If you're planning on eating differently during the diet that you would by choice, you're not going to achieve any permanent results. You have to be able to lose weight by eating food you consider your normal diet. You will have to adjust how much and how often. If you can't imagine living the rest of your life without jelly donuts, then you need to count the calories and decide how often you can afford to eat one. If you can't imagine eating cottage cheese the rest of your life, then don't bother eating it now. Eat what you like, but in healthier proportions, with more of the vegetables, enough of the proteins, and fewer of the fats and carbs.