No Support :(

Jeckia
Jeckia Posts: 77 Member
edited November 7 in Motivation and Support
So I feel like I don't have any support and feel like no matter what I do I can't seem to lose the weight.

It's really depressing, plus being on certain meds doesn’t help.

Anyways I spoke with my doctor and he suggested i see a nutritionist.

Well I told the person I've very close with and love what the doctor said and the person i love told me that he thinks going to a nutritionist is a load of crap and that i can do it on my own.

he said that as long as i eat healthy and go to the gym every day ill be all set.

Which he's also told me that going to therapy and having depression and anxiety is crap as well.

I don't know what to do.

It's very upsetting for me.
«1

Replies

  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    GO to the nutrionist!!!

    I had a physical last summer........Doc told me I was "obese". I almost smacked her, but she recommended a nutritionist.

    I did NOT want to go. I was very healthy....didn't "really" need to lose weight (or so I thought.) I felt that this person would probably rake me over the coals, and tell me what to do, and give me crap.......but she didn't. She gave me advice. She gave me a couple of recipe books. She was kind and caring, and we talked about my lifestyle and habits..........and shortly after that, I found MFP. The rest is history, as I've lost a bunch of weight, and am very happy with the changes in my life.

    Go. You need to do this for YOU, not your bf.

    And make friends here.......they will boost you up!

    Take care,

    Polly
  • nickm21
    nickm21 Posts: 248 Member
    I agree with Polly. Go to the nutritionist, you need to do this for you and your health. Maybe you could do it on your own but it's easier with help. Reach out to people on MFP, make friends and join groups and challenges to keep you on track and give you support. We are all on this journey, some have further to go than others, but we all know how hard it can be.
    Feel free to add me for support :flowerforyou:
  • Chagama
    Chagama Posts: 543 Member
    If you've tried it on your own, and have trouble, then try the nutritionist. Everyone is different, and different things work for each of us. If you visit the nutritionist and it doesn't help or you don't find it useful, you will stop going. But there is no reason not to explore every option available to you. It's your health, and your life.
  • danascot
    danascot Posts: 100 Member
    I'm sorry you don't feel supported. MFP is here for you! Please see the nutritionist - do it for yourself. I cringed when I read that someone you care about told you that doing something legitimate for your health was crap! Don't let that stop you from being healthy and well - physically and emotionally. Everyone else thinks they have the answer and know what is best for others, I'd like to see this other person you care about try to overcome depression/anxiety/weight issues all by themselves!!

    Best of luck to you.
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
    Educate yourself - no need for a nutritionist... Depression - exercise and a healthy diet could take care of that if you apply yourself and again, educate yourself on the subject.

    However, we are all different and something works for some something for others. -- I can tell you it has worked for me. I have not felt depressed in over 3 mos - since I started taking ME seriously and making me feel worthy of my own love.
  • fatty_to_fitty
    fatty_to_fitty Posts: 544 Member
    So I feel like I don't have any support and feel like no matter what I do I can't seem to lose the weight.

    It's really depressing, plus being on certain meds doesn’t help.

    Anyways I spoke with my doctor and he suggested i see a nutritionist.

    Well I told the person I've very close with and love what the doctor said and the person i love told me that he thinks going to a nutritionist is a load of crap and that i can do it on my own.

    he said that as long as i eat healthy and go to the gym every day ill be all set.

    Which he's also told me that going to therapy and having depression and anxiety is crap as well.

    I don't know what to do.

    It's very upsetting for me.

    What des this person advising you know about the human body, healthy eating and nutrition? What does the doctor know? Can it hurt you to go?

    Also off topic. The person you have told us you love has said the issues affecting your happiness are just crap? Not real?

    Take all that energy from worrying and put it into yourself. Seek advice from experts and you do have lots of support. That's what MFP is for.
  • danascot
    danascot Posts: 100 Member
    Educate yourself - no need for a nutritionist... Depression - exercise and a healthy diet could take care of that if you apply yourself and again, educate yourself on the subject.

    However, we are all different and something works for some something for others. -- I can tell you it has worked for me. I have not felt depressed in over 3 mos - since I started taking ME seriously and making me feel worthy of my own love.

    I think this was meant to be supportive........but.........

    There is nothing wrong with a nutritionist or seeking medical help for depression/anxiety for what it's worth!
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
    Those closest to us tend to have the loudest voices. The words have more weight to move and influence you, for good or bad.

    What's important is to remember that opinions and facts are intrinsically ALWAYS opposite, and no matter WHOM these words come from that fundamental truth never changes.

    Opinion: The one you love believes that nutritionists, therapy, anxiety and depression is a load of crap.

    Fact: Nutritionists exist to help people meet their dietary needs when they are unable. Therapy exists to help people meet their minds needs when they are not able, especially for those with high anxiety and depression.

    Listen to the facts. See the nutritionist, and see a therapist. I believe the one you love is coming from a place of good intentions and seeks to motivate you in the only way they know how. It is is clearly not working. Accept his words, but don't believe in them.

  • I don't know what to do.


    Go see the nutritionist. There is really no downside to exploring every avenue. Try not to get to down about it - you WILL reach your goals.
  • Gwen7121
    Gwen7121 Posts: 126 Member
    Educate yourself - no need for a nutritionist... Depression - exercise and a healthy diet could take care of that if you apply yourself and again, educate yourself on the subject.

    However, we are all different and something works for some something for others. -- I can tell you it has worked for me. I have not felt depressed in over 3 mos - since I started taking ME seriously and making me feel worthy of my own love.

    I think this was meant to be supportive........but.........

    There is nothing wrong with a nutritionist or seeking medical help for depression/anxiety for what it's worth!

    Agreed. And sometimes depression runs too deep to 'self-treat'.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    So I feel like I don't have any support and feel like no matter what I do I can't seem to lose the weight.

    It's really depressing, plus being on certain meds doesn’t help.

    Anyways I spoke with my doctor and he suggested i see a nutritionist.

    Well I told the person I've very close with and love what the doctor said and the person i love told me that he thinks going to a nutritionist is a load of crap and that i can do it on my own.

    he said that as long as i eat healthy and go to the gym every day ill be all set.

    Which he's also told me that going to therapy and having depression and anxiety is crap as well.

    I don't know what to do.

    It's very upsetting for me.

    May I be blunt?

    Ignore the advice of whoever this person in your life is. They're just wrong. Going to a nutritionist certainly isn't going to hurt if you find a good one. And therapy is essential for people struggling with depression. It's dangerous to listen to this person.

    Take care of yourself. That's the most important thing.
  • runbyme
    runbyme Posts: 522 Member
    I find it incredulous that anyone who cares for you would say that trying to better your life through avenues you haven't already tried, is a load of crap. Easy to say when that person isn't the one going through what you are! I totally support you going to a nutritionist. We can all give advise but they are trained and certified to deal with you and your weight loss journey. Give it a try! What do you have to lose? Besides weight?!! :flowerforyou:
  • thatsnumberwang
    thatsnumberwang Posts: 398 Member
    Sounds like you already know the bf is a bit of a jerk when it comes to you taking care of yourself. (Not pulling any punches here, hope that's okay.) So why are you thinking about listening to him now? Yes, you can do it yourself. And part of doing it yourself is getting the information, resources, and support you need. So go see the nutritionist if you think it would help you. And keep taking care of your mental health too, while you're at it.
  • It depends...
    If you ave to pay for the nutritionist I wouldn't bother!!

    If you stick to lean foods, veggies...etc...! Exercising...you WILL be fine...
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    Definitely go see the nutritionist if that is what you feel is best for you!! It sucks that you are not getting the support that you need! But you will find motivation, support and inspiration on MFP! Hang in there and stay strong!
  • Kaylee_law_123
    Kaylee_law_123 Posts: 450 Member
    I had a similar problem with my ex .... particularly with the whole "depression and anxiety is crap" part! Some people just don't get it, but you can't let them stop you from looking after you!!!! I did and that's when I ended up in the worst shape, physically and mentally, I have ever been in!
    Feel free to add me, happy to support you :-)
  • scicco
    scicco Posts: 58 Member
    There is never anything wrong with getting professional advice when you need it. Unfortunately most people who have never suffered with depression can't understand why you just can't shake it off, the same as those who have never been overweight think it's easy to eat well and exercise. You know what you need and if that is the advice and support of professionals then that's what you should do. Maybe you should rethink your need for those people in your life who are not supportive.........
    Take care of yourself and always do what's best for you
  • When I went to see a nutritionist, i found it a waste of time. she told me what i already knew. I know how to lose weight and be healthy but because i suffer with depression, i cant motivate myself to do it. id recomment CBT for depression first, then once that is sorted, work on your weight. thats what i did and it worked for a year. but i have recently become depressed again and i have started to put on weight. i know that i can do it but im really struggling. hopefully this site will help. good luck.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    Personally, I don't think he's against seeing a nutritionist. If he's like me, he doesn't think one is necessary.

    Use the food diary here. It's a great tool to help you understand and educate you. I've actually taken printouts to the doctors with me.

    I'm also cheap so I hit up my physical trainer friends sometimes and have them take a look at what I'm eating. Shoot, I can even take a screen cap and put it to facebook for them to comment on. This one girl, I think she's brilliant, told me "Damn, Tom! Why are you having hummus on pita? Don't you realize that's just carbs on carbs?!?!?!"

    And then, one of my MFP buddies looked at what I was eating and gave me some great advice on sodium intake and water retention. And every once in a while, I post a status update inviting people to look at what I ate.

    Anyways, there's also some great books out there. I don't think he's being unsupportive. Maybe a little cheap... but we're in a recession!
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Educate yourself - no need for a nutritionist... Depression - exercise and a healthy diet could take care of that if you apply yourself and again, educate yourself on the subject.

    However, we are all different and something works for some something for others. -- I can tell you it has worked for me. I have not felt depressed in over 3 mos - since I started taking ME seriously and making me feel worthy of my own love.

    I think this was meant to be supportive........but.........

    There is nothing wrong with a nutritionist or seeking medical help for depression/anxiety for what it's worth!

    Agreed. And sometimes depression runs too deep to 'self-treat'.

    Agree with this. It's ok to ask for help! Whether it's for nutrition, or for depression, or anxiety, or whatever. Posts like the above are why people like me feel shame and embarassment and wait unnecessary YEARS to seek help for things that we are told we should be able to control on our own. While I no longer take medication for anxiety and depression, and I do believe that my healthier diet and more active lifestyle definitely contribute to my feelings of wellbeing, for a time in my life I NEEDED that help from resources outside of myself.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    and that i can do it on my own.
    This sounds supportive.
    he said that as long as i eat healthy and go to the gym every day ill be all set.
    And this sounds oversimplified. If you don't know what "healthy" is, you do need to see a nutritionist. It's possible to eat too many calories and still be healthy.
    Which he's also told me that going to therapy and having depression and anxiety is crap as well.

    Why does this person's opinion matter more to you than your own? And why don't you feel strong enough to get going without his encouragement? Why do you need support to the effect that this person agrees with everything you do to lose weight? Just stuff for you to ponder alone. I'm not going to check back for answers.

    The social aspects of MFP are how you create a circle of people who are doing what you're doing and creates the environment of health that many people lack in their real-lives.

    Most people don't keep the weight off due to the unresolved issues that caused them to gain weight in the first place. So thumbs-down to your "support system's" advice on therapy as well.

    Time for you to break away and stand up on your own. You know you can do it.
  • Get to know yourself so that it becomes second nature to want to care for yourself which includes making better food choices and exercising. Education about nutrtion can be very helpful. You may come out with some new ideas that work for you.
    Concentrate on taking care of yourself regardless of what someone else said.

    Good luck! Learn what you can so you can reach your goals :smile:
  • sagetracey
    sagetracey Posts: 607 Member
    I'm sad that your other half is having such a negative impact on your health. You know that you need help to improve your health and there is nothing wrong with going out and getting that help. In fact, I see it as a very positive step for you.

    Would your partner say that it is crap to get a trained mechanic to work on his car? I doubt it! He would most likely be happy or even prefer to have an expert dealing with something specialised like that.

    Your body is even more important and more specialised than a car, plus you can't go out and buy a new one if it breaks down, so please take care of yourself.
  • fionat29
    fionat29 Posts: 717 Member
    It's probably not for me to comment, but you've put it out there, right? I don't think the person you love is actually loving you much right now. I think they are too selfish to think what might me best for you and I think you would be better of without such an unsupportive jerk! Go see the nutritionist. They are trained to help in these situations, take their advice.
  • spectralmoon
    spectralmoon Posts: 1,179 Member
    Some people have strong opinions on things they believe to be right, whether they've experienced them or not. If this is what he believes, there may not be much aside from statistics that you can do to change his mind. But his opinion isn't really the question here.

    If you think that a nutritionist can help you and motivate you on your way, and it won't hurt you financially or make your guy uncomfortable (irritated that you're going to a "quack" is different than him feeling pushed aside), and it's not hurting anyone to do so, then I don't see a problem with going.
  • sarahkatara
    sarahkatara Posts: 826 Member
    Polly is right on. My nutritionist listens to my concerns and she helps me come up with ideas that fit into MY life. It's a great sounnding board for any questions or advice.

    Also, even if your boyfriend is trying to be "supportive" you may want to ask him to not be negative when it comes to the things the doctors recommend. This is for you and only you. Just because he thinks you don't need any of that is not a good reason not try it out. If he keeps up the attitude then it's time to have a serious talk about how to best to help you as you go through this journey!

    Best of luck to you- please add me if you'd like. :happy:
  • Adventurehuntress
    Adventurehuntress Posts: 10 Member
    I have struggled with depression and anxiety. I have also sought counseling and have been on meds in the past. I think sometimes people who don't understand your struggles also don't believe in things such as seeing a counselor, nutritionist, and being on medication. But they are very helpful to become a better, stronger you.

    Honestly you have to take care of yourself and do what makes you happy! If need support feel free to add me!
  • If I could afford a nutritionist I would go see one. :happy:
  • amoffatt
    amoffatt Posts: 674 Member
    I think it depends on the nutritionist and what each person learns from them. My husband said he learned more about healthy eating from his cario rehab nurse than the nutritionist and that the nutritionist spent more time downing his eating habits then helping him. I havent seen one and heard ok reviews on them, but it doesnt hurt to try to see what they have to offer. Good luck.
  • Apazman
    Apazman Posts: 494 Member
    hmm .. I kind of agree with the Evil Loved One in a way. I have been depressed many times, I an get into this cycle of feeling bad and self-destructive behavior, and then more depressed .. ect.,

    Until i realized, You can be the thermometer, or the thermostat, You can either be a victim of your environment or you can control it. Either way .. its up to you to make a change.

    Its harder to do than it is to say of course and people react differently to different approaches.

    Some people want to be told what to do in a real black and white, binary way.

    Others need that support first and discussion to analyze things before making changes.

    Nutritionist and Therapy will help arm you with the tools you can use to make better decisions day to day. That's what they do :)
This discussion has been closed.