Need positivity in my life

azeria
azeria Posts: 527 Member
edited November 7 in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone!

I'm having some problems with negative people in my life. I've been through a lot of ups and downs last year and I'm trying to slowly get back to my healthy happy self. However, there are so many negative people in my life. People that I can't cut out of my life.

I know that I can't change anyone, but how do I remain positive in negativity? How do I deal wit those negative personalities?

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Replies

  • TiffanyDawn79
    TiffanyDawn79 Posts: 201 Member
    Anytime they have something negative to say follow it with something positive. Maybe you cannot cut them out of your life but maybe seriously limit how much time you have to deal with them. Just always keep positive, it's catching!
  • measha82
    measha82 Posts: 4
    Just stay true to yourself hon... Remember that you have to respect yourself, protect yourself and above all, love yourself. When people around you are being negative, just know that THEY are negative, not you. Embrace the idea that the opposite of negative is positive and use their negativity to feed your positivity. If you really cant remove these people from your life, then just accept them as they are but remember that the negativity is their issue, not yours. Be strong and be proud hon..easier said then done? lol.. Good luck xxx
  • ymhand
    ymhand Posts: 188
    Anytime they have something negative to say follow it with something positive. Maybe you cannot cut them out of your life but maybe seriously limit how much time you have to deal with them. Just always keep positive, it's catching!
    Probably this, then when they realize you are not reacting to their being negative they wont bring it around so much.......
  • vanessaclarkgbr
    vanessaclarkgbr Posts: 731 Member
    I had this problem with a family member, and had a professional suggest I limit the time that I spend with that person, to a time that I felt manageable, and that I was in control of how long and when. I got around this by call screening, and not answering the phone to that person outside of 8am - 10pm. I also 'allowed' myself half an hour after getting in from work. She also recommended a three strikes and you're out policy - if they were being particularly negative, say pleasantly, I can appreciate you feel like that, but it would be more positive to think about it like this - xxx, and to point out that you wanted to view things from a more positive angle...then if you had to do that more than three times in one conversation then you found a reason to leave, or end the phone call.

    I was advised that a lot of people 'transfer' anxiety - so they feel a lot better for venting irrational fears and thoughts to you, but you then feel a lot worse! So it was suggested that I stopped becoming the person to offload to - on a larger scale basis anyway! Good luck and I hope that is a viable suggestion for you xx
  • K8ty_7
    K8ty_7 Posts: 28 Member
    i strongly believe and chopping negative people and relationships from ones life. ive also, as im sure we all hav been surrounded by negative people and you cant help but hav it bring you down. at the end of the day its their issues and their baggage weighing them down and they hav no right to burden u with it, so be strong and dont allow it anymore, if someone starts on something u feel its negative extricate urself from the situation, excuse urself or change topic. good luck :)
  • Beeps2011
    Beeps2011 Posts: 12,193 Member
    Start a "gratitude" journal. First thing in the morn, write down 3 things you are grateful for. That's it. Just focus on that.

    If you start focusing on what YOU are grateful for, pretty soon, you end up in a VERY healthy place where what other people do, or say, just doesn't affect YOU and all the GRATITUDE you have in this world!
  • azeria
    azeria Posts: 527 Member
    Thanks everyone for your advice. I did discuss with the one person that matters to me, my need for positivety. I think it may have imacted that person. I hope so!
  • EMarvie
    EMarvie Posts: 335 Member
    Keep telling people that - you'd be amazed to see how many people dont even realize that they are being negative. Stay strong and keep positive. I love that journal idea.

    All the best in your journey - if you need more positive friends, feel free to add me :)
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    move
  • ladydazy1
    ladydazy1 Posts: 14
    This is great and just what I needed. Thanks for bringing up this subject. :smile:
  • tulip07
    tulip07 Posts: 167 Member
    At the moment, I have one such friend in my life that I can't avoid and can't embrace her thoughts either.

    What has been sort of helping is - to try to remove myself from the situation (not literally). I just listen, with mm hmms and really? and oh that's crazy! kind of remarks. I lend a listening ear because for the most part that's what she needs (and as a friend I can do that), but I try to imagine myself watching as the 3rd person and not the 2nd person in the conversation. I don't know if that makes sense, but I am not sure if I can explain it better. Try to be a spectator of the conversation, instead of being part of the conversation. It's kind of meditative actually :)

    I feel sorry for her negativity and when possible try to point out that every coin has a flip side and get her to see the positive in the situation. But again I don't let it affect me, just feel sorry for her.
  • azeria
    azeria Posts: 527 Member
    I've done the listening but not really listening in the past with a good friend of mine, but it became too much after a while that I stopped reaching out to her or seeing her. I feel terrible now because she went through some really rough times in her life and I keep thinking that perhaps if I had been a good supportive authentic friend it wouldn't have happened.

    I guess the life lesson that I need to learn is how to help others see their negativity when they are being negative.

    I have noticed that when I just state the positive, it doesn't seem to fizz on people.
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