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What do you do when a friend looks anorexic?

khk2010
khk2010 Posts: 451 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
One of my gym buddies started dieting last year. She wasn't overweight to start-maybe size 8. She lost about 30 lbs. and looked very slim. For the last few months she is losing more and more. When I saw her yesterday she looked skeletal. We are not good friends, just gym friends.

In an instance like this do you say something or ignore it?
Concerned.

Replies

  • Lindy901
    Lindy901 Posts: 71 Member
    That's a tough one since you're not really that close. Maybe just pull her aside and say something simple like you're concerned about her appearance and if she wants to talk, etc. Not much you can do or say I guess.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    I have a friend that may appear anorexic, only he isn't. He's just skinney.
  • ladytinkerbell99
    ladytinkerbell99 Posts: 970 Member
    That is a tough call. I knew a girl in university. We all lived in the same dorm. She was super skinny. She ate and ate and never gained any weight. I mean she was not skinny she was near death. One night after dinner the paramedics showed up at her room. It is a sad case.
    Since then, when I see someone - that I notice that is really losing a lot of weight and it is not someone that is skinny. But someone who is focused on losing weight. Then for me, I take them aside and mention that I notice that they are losing weight and if they ever want to talk...I will be there for them.

    Other than that - there is not much you can do.

    Just my two cents worth.

    Marcy
  • theginnyray
    theginnyray Posts: 208 Member
    Not your place to say anything, sorry.
    I don't think it's appropriate to say anything unless you watch her skip meals, throw up, etc etc etc the list goes on. You said it yourself, you aren't really friends. That's like going up to a stranger and telling them they look anorexic. If she had GAINED 30 lbs, would you pull her aside and mention something?
  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
    Not your place to say anything, sorry.
    I don't think it's appropriate to say anything unless you watch her skip meals, throw up, etc etc etc the list goes on. You said it yourself, you aren't really friends. That's like going up to a stranger and telling them they look anorexic. If she had GAINED 30 lbs, would you pull her aside and mention something?

    this
  • lovelyl0ve
    lovelyl0ve Posts: 25 Member
    No, absolutely not. As someone who has suffered from an eating disorder, take it from me: commenting on her appearance is the absolute worst thing you can do. If you aren't close, nothing good will come from it. If she does have an eating disorder, it will either serve to fuel it because you're essentially telling her she's doing well, or she'll get defensive and angry and you'll lose your gym buddy. If she doesn't have a disorder and she's just slim, you'll only offend her. Either way, though it's good that you care, it isn't your place to say anything. Leave that up to those closest to her.
  • starracer23
    starracer23 Posts: 1,011 Member
    If the shoe were on the other foot and it was you...would you want a "gym buddy" questioning you about your weight loss? Think about that and then you have your answer. :)
  • jenifer7teen
    jenifer7teen Posts: 205 Member
    while i agree that commenting on her body isn't going to yeild anything good either way... i think it is wrong to ignore that she may be suffering... what if EVERYONE in her life took the attitude of "it's not my place"? Instead of confronting her on the eating disorder specifically, why not just try to genuinely get to know her on a more personal level. If a sincere connection develops, than maybe you can play a role on that deeper level down the road.
  • myownfairytale
    myownfairytale Posts: 2 Member
    This exact thing happened to me when I was anorexic. I went to this gym all the time, and was getting sicker and sicker. One day after class, a girl I had chatted to a few times came up to me and said "Are you done losing weight? You look fine. Maybe too thin.". My anorexic brain was shocked, and pleased at the same time. Was I appreciative that she said something? Yes, but I'm not sure whether it was because I was sick and I knew I was doing "well". I would suggest not mentioning anything about her weight, but maybe say something like "you look like you're tired. Do you wanna chat?" She'll get the point, she won't get triggered (no anorexic wants to be told they look tired) and it still shows you care.

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