I THINK

Denise,

You don't need to get rid of your boyfriend. And btw, I am going to be what you might consider a jerk right now, but this is your problem, not his.

If he brings home snacks and beer, you don't have to eat them. But the way you're getting mad at his says that you think he shouldn't bring them home at all. That's not fair. He should be able to eat what he pleases.

And if he makes you breakfast in bed, just exercise more that day and burn off the calories.

He obviously cares about you. Depending on how long you've been dating, I would say that it has become a habit for him to do these things for you because you liked those things for a long time. You probably used to thank him and kiss him when he brought home snacks, and it probably used to turn you into a ray of sunshine when he made breakfast in bed.

Your lifestyle change affects him too. He has to get used to the new you.

Now, you can sit him down and tell him that you are making some changes in your life and that means you'll have to eat differently. But he's human. He might keep doing these things. And he might not remember to bring healthy snacks or make healthy breakfast.

It does NOT seem to me like he's being malicious. And I think that perhaps instead of asking people on the forums, who get a little irate and over-sensitive, that you should ask someone who is close to you and him what THEY think.

Look I'll just tell you. My husband drinks beer. He eats chips and dip. He also eats ice cream. I don't have any of those things. It takes a while for the other people in your life to get used to it. Nobody likes change. Not in themselves and not in anybody else around them. Change is uncomfortable.

So just hold your ground without being a jerk about it. You are the one having self control issues and you are trying to control him in order to control yourself and you're also trying to blame him for your lack of self control.

Eventually he will get used to the new you. But you can't force him to accept or live your lifestyle.

You're accusing him of not wanting you to get healthy without proof. Bringing home snacks and making breakfast is not proof. It's who he is.

Unless he has specifically told you that he doesn't want you to lose weight, you need to cut him some slack.

If, on the other hand, he has told you explicitly that he wants you to stay fat (telling you that you are beautiful or fine how you are or that you don't NEED to lose weight is NOT the same thing...it's him telling you that he loves you how you are) and said it with those exact words, then you can dump him.

That being said, I highly doubt that he has said those words to you. Or you would have told us he said it.

You are frustrated because you have a hard time controlling your urges to eat unhealthy food. That's human and normal. Blaming someone else is also human and normal. But eventually something has got to give, and I would hate to see you destroy your relationship because of something that you can control with a bag of baby carrots and a glass of water, simple portion control, or extra exercise.

Just something to chew on. No pun intended.

I wouldn't say that sex is an ulterior motive, more like an anticipated conclusion........