Where are all the fun people??

Good grief, is it Hump Day already? I thought that was Wednesday....so confused right now

Wednesday is Wednesday.... Hump day is ....... uh.... EVERYDAY!! Well at least I wish it was!!

Now your talking my language! Oops did I say that loud?

Someone in my office sent around this e-mail today and it gave me a good totally un-PC laugh:

This is my new doctor. I hope you like him too!!!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on
exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you
live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want
to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean
they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.
Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you
have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact,
they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only
be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best
feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly
used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition
and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting
nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans..

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Right here, bi*cheeessss!!! :drinker: :laugh:

I'm here for a party!

Its as real as it gets..

I'm just here for the food, oh and the fun, and maybe the drinks! Oh and the guys with boobies:laugh:

I think I need to change my name to BeGoodWendi :blushing:

^^^^^ DISAGREE!!

I think I'll remember that next time :frown:

Fun on a Monday is like a midget stripper. You know it exist and everyone has a friend that has seen it but damn if you will ever find it.

couldn't resist! HA!

While I was going to school in IL, a bunch of went out one....anywho we went to this bar and it was midget bartender and dancer night....we weren't there to long, but heard a midget stripper was going to preform.....ah how I miss college days...