Dollars Spent At the Gym

ctlinj7
ctlinj7 Posts: 151 Member
edited November 8 in Chit-Chat
Many people understand that going to the gym is going to cost you some $$, depending on the gym more $$ or less $$. I go to a decently priced gym and I also train with a trainer at a seperate gym 2 nights per week. I have been doing this since August 2011 and it has worked out awesome for me. My friends started noticing how I was getting back in shape and asked what I was doing, so yes I share what I do and they are interested. So I give one friend my trainer and gym info with prices and she absolutely goes off on me for paying for a trainer. I actually don't mind paying what I do for the trainer, because he is helping me push myself, giving me my meal plans, and any ecouragement I need any day of the week, not just on the days I train with him. She goes on to tell me that she just can't swing that because unlike me she has bills, a husband, blah blah blah and just can't afford it. I go on to say, well I can use my money how I like so since it's my money and I do not have a husband, a huge house payment, car payment (my car is paid off thank you very much). It's just really frustrating when I get feedback like that from a friend. It's my personal financial business, but for her to criticize me because of it, makes me want to scream at her. Meanwhile, she is always asking me for advice what my trainer says and I say that's what I pay for, to help me educate myself and I'm sorry but I'm not going to give you any more advice or info if you are trying to get it the "frugal" way by going through me. I did tell her to try some different workout DVD's so she could work out at home (since she won't pay for a gym membership) and she did buy some, but never does them. It's like lose-lose with her, but she is one of my closest friends. Any advice on how to deal???? Or similar situations?

Looks like it's Rant Tuesday for me. But i do feel better now! :-)

Replies

  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
    I think that as we learn more we should share that knowledge with others who are interested. In the case of your friend, it sounds like she may not be able to afford paying for a personal trainer herself. Does that mean that she should not be allowed to receive that knowledge in another way, whether it's from yoy or a workout video? No. You have the ability and knowledge to be able to assist her with ideas, techniques, forms, exercises, and everything else you learn. I completely agree that she did not handle the situation appropriately and it's your money to spend as you see fit. But there could be a bigger issue here. Maybe she's jealous of the fact that you can afford the luxery of a personal trainer. Talk to her. Let her know that you feel that your personal finances are your personal business. That you would be happy to share prices with her since it's something she could obtain from the gym anyway but that it's not her place to criticize how you spend your money. Then offer to help her get on track and support her. That's what friends are for.
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    I wouldn't pay for a trainer either, those guys are expensive! But it is YOUR money and do what you like with it. I don't see why you would get offended by her saying she wouldn't get a trainer because she's got bills? And her asking for advice, I don't see that as bad. why not help your closest friend out? Share a bit of what you learn with her, or tell her to join MFP! Even though there are a lot of smart @ss answers, there's a lot of good info here.
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
    I can see why that would annoy you... anyone commenting on how I spend my $$ would annoy me, especially since I am not in financial turmoil.

    I believe some of the best investments you can make are on yourself. That's how I see my gym membership.

    I'd just tell her you can afford the investment in yourself and it really bothers you when she criticizes you spending on something positive and ask her to please stop. Tell her this and that you'd be happy to share with her so you both benefit.
  • ctlinj7
    ctlinj7 Posts: 151 Member
    I wouldn't pay for a trainer either, those guys are expensive! But it is YOUR money and do what you like with it. I don't see why you would get offended by her saying she wouldn't get a trainer because she's got bills? And her asking for advice, I don't see that as bad. why not help your closest friend out? Share a bit of what you learn with her, or tell her to join MFP! Even though there are a lot of smart @ss answers, there's a lot of good info here.

    I'm not offended, just frustrated with her. Everyone has bills, money issues, etc (including myself) I work hard and so does she, but I give up certain things so I can go to my trainer, it's not like I just have $$ to burn. I tried helping her out with advice before, but she still doesn't listen to it. It's like a broken record. I try to motivate her or go on walks/bikes rides and she complains the whole time about it. I have told her numerous times about MFP but she still won't join. I want her to be healthy too, but I can tell her til I'm blue in the face and it won't make a difference. Should I just keep pestering her?
  • ctlinj7
    ctlinj7 Posts: 151 Member
    I can see why that would annoy you... anyone commenting on how I spend my $$ would annoy me, especially since I am not in financial turmoil.

    I believe some of the best investments you can make are on yourself. That's how I see my gym membership.

    I'd just tell her you can afford the investment in yourself and it really bothers you when she criticizes you spending on something positive and ask her to please stop. Tell her this and that you'd be happy to share with her so you both benefit.

    Thanks I really like your 2nd line :-)
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    I wouldn't pay for a trainer either, those guys are expensive! But it is YOUR money and do what you like with it. I don't see why you would get offended by her saying she wouldn't get a trainer because she's got bills? And her asking for advice, I don't see that as bad. why not help your closest friend out? Share a bit of what you learn with her, or tell her to join MFP! Even though there are a lot of smart @ss answers, there's a lot of good info here.

    I'm not offended, just frustrated with her. Everyone has bills, money issues, etc (including myself) I work hard and so does she, but I give up certain things so I can go to my trainer, it's not like I just have $$ to burn. I tried helping her out with advice before, but she still doesn't listen to it. It's like a broken record. I try to motivate her or go on walks/bikes rides and she complains the whole time about it. I have told her numerous times about MFP but she still won't join. I want her to be healthy too, but I can tell her til I'm blue in the face and it won't make a difference. Should I just keep pestering her?

    Nah... You've done what you could, she obviously doesn't really want to change. I've learned people won't make a change until they are ready and willing. Just keep doing what you are doing...hopefully eventually she'll catch on to this whole being healthy and feeling awesome thing! :smile:
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    I completely agree with your rant. I hate when someone asks me about something then goes off about how it's wrong, etc. Especially when it comes to how I spend my money. Hell even my husband doesn't get to do that; we have separate accounts just for that reason. :wink:

    I think your response to her was the right tone, no need to stoop down to her level of childishness. She could be a little jealous that you have the money to spend on those things and she does not. I only say this b/c I used to feel that way sometimes about my single best friend when she had a nice new car every 18 months. LOL. But again, that was her choice and her money and she earned it.

    If it's working for you and you can swing it, don't let anyone else bring you down about it.
  • jesilva80
    jesilva80 Posts: 287 Member
    I can't afford a trainer, but if I had the money, a motivating person, would do me good. I joined the Y, very reasonable. My friend was at a more expensive facility, but she found out what I paid , and moved to the Y as well. If I had extra money, i would have done the bigger, more upscale place, since the daycare is open all-day, the y is only open 8-12 and 5-8, which sucks, because my time I like to go, is 11-2. I'll deal with it for the price. If you want to spend your money on a trainer, its your money as you said. There are so many people that say they cant afford things like that, but they don't even realize how much they spend on other unnecessary items, like: fast food, purses, shoes, nails etc.. My extra money is going to support a healthier , thinner me.. I understand the catch 22, if someone complains , but takes no action. One day she might come around, heck she might be doing something at home, not wanting to say anything. Thats what i did for 9 months, till i joined..
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
    The world is full of 'whoa is me' people. They want something, they don't want to work for something. We see it every day in every imaginable way. I want to be rich, I want to be handsome/pretty, I want the big house, nice car, boat, etc., I want to be super fit. But for every good in our lives, there is a cost. It starts with an investment and is bought with effort. You should be proud that you've made an investment in yourself and have worked hard to make it pay off.
  • Mamoonie
    Mamoonie Posts: 328
    I always thought that gyms are expensive, and personal trainers not affordable.
    Until I got a free membership for 3 months, including 3 half hours with a personal trainer.
    I liked it sooo much (both gym and personal trainer), that after one year, I still pay for them.
    Yes, I still think it's expensive, but seeing the results I can only say it's worth every cent and penny!
    I had to be 40 years old, work full time, have 3 adult kids to finally decide that I can have some money to invest in myself.

    You have to be ready to make such a decision. I guess your friend is just not ready yet, neither for a gym, nor for personal training or working out or anything related with it.

    You might as well tell her what she asks you, knowing that she won't use that knowledge anyway ;-) So it's not really cheating on your personal trainer or depriving them from the money they could earn with your friend.
  • jennifer2977
    jennifer2977 Posts: 156
    I have one of those 'Negative Nancys' at work. I joined a gym, she says 'oh I would never pay for that', then signed up for Weight Watchers, still pays, but doesn't follow the program, then complains she isn't losing weight. I just have to brush it aside and figure she's a lost cause and focus on my own health and fitness.

    On the topic of your friend, you are right, personal trainers are expensive, but by making yourself healthier, you are spending less on food, doctor visits, meds, injuries, etc. That's how I look at my gym membership as well. You're investing in your future, which you hope to make long and healthy.

    Maybe sit don with her seriously and explain that yes, it does cost money and you don't mind helping her, but maybe she could throw in a little bit towards your trainer fees since you are passing the information on? Money conversations never seem to go well when it's between two people that are close, but at the same time I would feel like I'm being used...
  • stepoco
    stepoco Posts: 50 Member
    You shouldn't feel bad for the money you spend on a gym membership and a trainer. How you spend money is your business. What is valuable to one person is a "waste" to another - it is all about priorities. I also pay for a personal trainer. I have trouble getting to the gym otherwise. Yes it is expesive, but it is worth it for me. I am trying to wean myself off the personal training (i.e. teach myself to get to the gym on my own) but it is hard.

    As for your friend - you can only do so much. If she says she wants to lose weight, but doesn't do anything about it, then it is not yet important enough for her. A wish without a plan is nothing. You can't change that for her, you can only offer encouragement. Maybe you can offer to go on a walk with her - get some buddy time and some exercise at the same time. And it is free. Every little bit of movement helps.
  • am0206089
    am0206089 Posts: 18 Member
    Dont let her negativity get to you. All it seems that she obviously likes the results your getting, how you go to the gym and have a trainer, but doesn't like the $$$ your payment. Reality is we all have bills to pay, but if she were to put the time and effort to do something, then she shouldn't complain. Just keep your head up and continue the hard work your doing to achive your goals
  • bethdris
    bethdris Posts: 1,090 Member
    Good friend or not, she has no right to go off on you for how you have invested in your health.( think deep insde she is jealous).Its not ilke you critize her for her financial choices. (good or bad). I see no problem with what you are doing!
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