Living with the in-laws!

boa74 · January 2012

Me and my husband have had to move into my in-laws for the winter, 3 months ago and although I absolutely love them to pieces I am getting more and more frustrated with the food situation! We are only here for another month but I am on the verge of snapping at them so am taking this opportunity to vent to you all!!!
First off, being married and living with the in-laws is not ideal for anyone, let alone a SUPER independent person like me!
Second, I am getting so annoyed at being told when Im going to eat and what I am going to eat. I have put on about 1 1/2 stone since moving here because their portion sizes are IMMENSE! Massive pies with mash and the roasts on a Sunday OH MY GOODNESS! I know its down to me to only eat what I want but Ive always been a 'finish whats on my plate' kinda girl and would feel bad if I did leave anything. When it is me and the hubby we eat so many salads and fresh fish so its OK to finish what is on our plates, once in a while we pig out as a treat but living here is like treat day every day.
Since being on my diet I have been occasionally making my own meals if they are having something stodgy but this is always met with little snidy teasing comments which grind my gears so much! I just smile and laugh but inside it winds me up so much. If I dont want potatoes or pasta or cheese there are always so many comments, I wish they could just accept what Im doing. I am not making it hard for them to understand and I do not expect them to work around me, I am quite happy to do my own thing but its always such an issue.
Take this evening for example, they are having sausages, a venison burger and a baked potato. I said I didnt want a burger and they replied, 'its really low fat its fine you should have it'. I told them I was happy to have either of them but not both!!!! A bit excessive on the meat front eh! I know this probably sounds really petty but when it happens every day it really gets to me!
I used to suffer from an eating disorder so its more than 'fatty foods' for me, its about eating what will make me happy.
1 month and we will be back in our home...roll on March!!!!

strapple · January 2012

you should talk to your husband about it and have him speak with your in laws. i keep kosher and my in laws used to make comments about it all the time but once they heard it offended me they stopped.

i think sometimes people can poke fun at us or make comments and be completely innocent and simply just not understand that it has an effect on you.

you say they have huge portions. is your mother in law MAKING your plate for you? thats totally weird
@_______@

janalayn · January 2012

Maybe it is time to ask the hubby to speak up for you. They are his parents and he really should be supporting you. If you the portions are truly too large then either fix your own plate or put half the food back into the original dishes before you eat off the plate. You can take control.

Des0528 · January 2012

Hey there!
I'm in a very similar situation as you. I currently live with my soon to be in-laws, and I'm the only one who is trying to eat healthier! It's soooo hard! I eat pretty good during the day since I'm at work, but for dinner, I don't want to be rude and not eat, or fix myself something else, but I also want to stay on track!!! Then, my "mother-in-law" brings home cookies and candy each and every time she goes to the market! What a temptation!! Then, when she sees me eating/buying fruits, etc, she'll tell me things like, well, you know fruit has a lot of sugar in it... and tries to tell me how to eat! URGGGGG! Ok, so I thought I would vent with you... I'm done now :-) Hope your month comes and goes quickly

ryno0618 · January 2012

Oh man. That is tough. I can only imagine my wife and I living with either set of our parents. That would be just terrible and the eating would definitely be up there with the worst of the situation. I think its your husbands place to try to same something about the menu choices at meals or at least say something that HE doesn't appreciate his parents comments towards you when you try to turn things down or make your own meals.

Trophyyf · January 2012

I say first off it sounds like you have done a great job biting your tongue. I'm not 100% sure on the stone to pounds conversion but I believe in pounds you are saying you've gained 14 pounds? So about 4 pounds or 0.3 stone of month since you've been there. I'm sure that part is really hard but you only have a month to go and it sounds like they do eat a ton of meat!!! Could you maybe increase your work outs till you get out of there? I also think your hubs should step up and make sure that they are not making comments about what you do and do not eat. After all you are not a child and it's your body. Good luck

boa74 · January 2012

Yes, they do serve me food up for me! They serve everyone's food up for them, its the way they've always done it and If I say I dont want potatoes then then will give me more of something else! At my home I put all the food on the table if we have guests and that way people can help themselves.
My husband has spoken to them on numerous occasions as have I but they don't seem to get it.
If I fancy something a bit naughty as a treat, like some ice cream, then they 'joke' - oh you cant have that you're on a diet you'll get fat!!!!
When we don't live with them I totally adore them and when we come for dinner I make sure Ive barely eaten anything or have done more exercise as I know the evening meal will be about 2000 calories on its own but being here all the time, I cant do that every day.
It'll be fine, It feels to talk about it!

boa74 · January 2012

I say first off it sounds like you have done a great job biting your tongue. I'm not 100% sure on the stone to pounds conversion but I believe in pounds you are saying you've gained 14 pounds? So about 4 pounds or 0.3 stone of month since you've been there. I'm sure that part is really hard but you only have a month to go and it sounds like they do eat a ton of meat!!! Could you maybe increase your work outs till you get out of there? I also think your hubs should step up and make sure that they are not making comments about what you do and do not eat. After all you are not a child and it's your body. Good luck

Sorry, Im english!!! 14lbs in a stone :-)

TubbsMcGee · January 2012

I'm pretty familiar with this situation...when my guy and I moved across the province, our apartment renovations weren't complete and we had to spend 2 months with his family. At first I was so nervous about the food situation, but after offering to cook some meals and introduce them to new foods, they started to develop healthier eating habits.

I've always been the world's slowest eater (It's 1pm here now, and I started breakfast at 8:45am...and I still haven't finished eating it), so I started using smaller plates so that I wasn't always the last person at the table. After a few weeks had passed, I think they noticed that their dinner plates were much too large and they all made the switch with me!

I remember we had all planned a tropical vacation as a "treat" for finally getting out on our own (we were 18 when we FINALLY got the news that the apartment was ready for us to move in to), and suddenly everyone was asking me for fitness tips. I started doing yoga with my mother in law, and the guys started running on the treadmill.

Then we all thought we'd have a healthy weight loss competition and ended up dusting off the bathroom scale.

I know everyone's situation is different, but it was funny to watch their transformation in such a short period of time! You just have to set the right example, be patient, and never make rude comments about the foods they eat

Living with the in-laws!

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