it's a shame we can't get off our high horses and really be

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MrsDrake678
MrsDrake678 Posts: 90 Member
in Motivation and Support
it's really sad to me when you come across someone who thinks they have all the answers and judge based on someone else's food diary or exercise program. We have to remember we are all on the road to better health and our journey may not go the same direction but at least we are on one. A friend of mine (in real life) was bashed for her food diary very rudely yesterday. Now this person had no idea she spent the entire day in the ER with her son and was able to choke down 600 calories over the course of the day. She told her she was ridiculous for having a diet coke for lunch and then posted about not going to support annorexics and what not. Who is this person? Who knows they live on the other side of the world...not a part of our daily lives but words can still hurt. I wish people here (of course not all people) could get off their high horse and realize we are all human. Remember the saying our grandma's used to say: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all....I think we should follow it. Now constructive criticism is welcome but what makes a person think THEY have all the answers? Is it when they hit 10lbs gone, 20...30 or 50? At what point do you become and EXPERT? I think never...everyone is different. Just some food for thought....
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Replies

  • Chagama
    Chagama Posts: 543 Member
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    Well stated.
  • bugtrain
    bugtrain Posts: 251 Member
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    I totally agree with you on this......how about asking if the person is OK.....are they sick,etc.......
  • jordanlell
    jordanlell Posts: 340 Member
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    I agree. This is the main reason my food diary is still private. I have some crazy busy days where I make some really awful and I don't want someone to start judging me based on that one day where all I had was a can of Monster until after 2:00.
  • milaxx
    milaxx Posts: 1,122 Member
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    That or the exercise nazis. You know what? Some people truly are sedentary and going up the stairs requires major effort so if you don't like that some people count cleaning as part of their exercise, then skip the post and keep it moving. I remember last year when I joined after a major illness, I had to cook sitting down. When I cleaned my kitchen or mopped and dusted I was exhausted afterwards. Depending on how much cleaning I had to do I would even be sweating afterwards. Yeah I counted it. Now I only count cleaning if it's part of moving heavy furniture. Don't like it? STFU and skip my post. it works for me, if that's not your thing, don't do it. It's that easy.

    I try and look at my neighbors past few days. We all have a one off day where life doesn't allow us to make good food and exercise choices. If a person is low on one day I'm not going to make a big deal of it.
  • Mrs_Moe
    Mrs_Moe Posts: 68 Member
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    So sorry for your friend!!!!! .... and this is EXACTLY why I keep my diary private and rarely ask questions anymore.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    Unsolicited criticism is a very different animal to somebody asking for people to look at their diary and being given some pointers. I don't know who these people are, but although I sometimes look at people's diaries without them being asked, with them being public, I would never message anyone about it unless they were asking for advice. It's that I don't understand - people that come in waving their e-peen like a cowboy with a lassoo. I feel sorry for your friend, and although HER day was pretty crappy, sometimes you need to put things into context before leaping to conclusions.
  • ckapes
    ckapes Posts: 31
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    Reading the terms of this site, shouldn't that type of person be reported? By the way, very well said.
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    I only let MFP friends see my diary, and I surround myself with supportive folks. Life's too short for all that negativity. If I got burned like your friend, the person who burned me would be off my friend list immediately. I would send them a note as to why, though.

    You are so right - none of us knows what another is going through daily.
  • dargytaylor
    dargytaylor Posts: 840 Member
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    wow. that is horrible! I hope her son is OK, and she is too :smile:
  • annagrl1975
    annagrl1975 Posts: 1
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    Thank you sis for the support. Well said with the message also. CJ is okay and is back at school. I have read all the wonderful and supportive messages that everyone has left and I want to thank everyone for being so supportive. I had a really crappy day yesterday, but made through and today is very stressful also. I am now having to deal with the school and school board. No one wants to listen to me. I am so stressed and frustrated. I can not afford a lawyer either so I can not sue. I am at my wits end.
  • 5thanddes
    5thanddes Posts: 28 Member
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    Totaly agree with you!! Its not a compitetion! Its about supporting better health and wellness for everyone!
  • LeilaFace
    LeilaFace Posts: 412 Member
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    Couldn't agree More!
  • dolphin9803
    dolphin9803 Posts: 125
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    So sorry for your friend!!!!! .... and this is EXACTLY why I keep my diary private and rarely ask questions anymore.

    ditto!
  • RenaPink11
    RenaPink11 Posts: 343 Member
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    Very well said!
  • NicolePatriot
    NicolePatriot Posts: 621 Member
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    I agree with you. Sometimes people are a little too nosy on here. Just because you are my MFP friend does not mean you get to judge or criticize the things I do. We're all still human. Hope your friends son is okay! :)
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
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    People might think that they are being helpful but they really aren't. Maybe whoever judged her on her food diary needs to be called out on it.
  • runbyme
    runbyme Posts: 522 Member
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    Words of wisdom! Thank you! Lots of times, forums are a battlefield. Everyone thinks their answer is right and therefore all that matters! If I had all the answers and had them applied to my life, the need for me being here would be gone!
    Good luck to you!
  • mdailey93
    mdailey93 Posts: 95
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    It's really sad that people act like that. I'm glad to hear your son is doing better, and I hope that you get everything else figured out.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    No, no, no.

    If you do not do everything exactly the way I do everything, you are lazy and stupid and uneducated. Gah. Why does no one get that???? ;-)
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    anna-

    if you want, message me about your school situation. if its in regards to your childs illness, maybe we can compare notes? i have a child with a heart disorder and have had to fight tooth and nail to get him what he needs, and special considerations when he missed huge amounts of school while in the hospital. i am finally, after 2 years, getting him what he needs, with alternative work loads while out of school. other than that, just ignore the ignorant know it alls, they must feel better about themselves when putting others down! good luck to you!

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