it's a shame we can't get off our high horses and really be

Options
2

Replies

  • ionlyhavesporx
    ionlyhavesporx Posts: 120
    Options
    I agree. But it's a quick way to find the people that need to be blocked and the ones that can support you best. Nonetheless.... everyone has struggled at one point at that is a realization many need to get through their heads.
  • pocomama
    pocomama Posts: 93 Member
    Options
    I totally agree! I basically stay away from the forums. Every once in a while I comment on something. But I do notice some of the threads and blogs just seem to be there to tear others down. I read one a few days ago about proper gym attire. Basically making fun of all of the things you see at the gym, fashion wise. I am so glad I didn't read that when I started exercising. I was already extremely self conscious. Knowing that someone actually took the time to write up a blog about how they didn't want to see my muffin top hanging out of my track pants, or my bra straps showing, or even criticising the type of headphones I am wearing would have likely caused me to avoid the gym altogether. And the whole idea behind this website is supposed to be a supportive environment isn't it? Why would we want to cause someone to stop trying to become a more healthy person?

    I hope your friend is ok and that her son is home now. I am sorry she was kicked while she was down.
  • Tenoreo90
    Tenoreo90 Posts: 329 Member
    Options
    Ugh, I had someone tell me a couple weeks ago that I wasn't eating enough...I had burned my leg pretty bad and was stuck in bed for a good five days, so naturally, I wasn't hungry (I was also mostly knocked out with pain meds). Some people just get obsessive on here, and will find anything to try and make themselves feel like they're 'winning'. I also saw on another thread where one girl says to another (in a discussion about calculating exercise) "so why I have I lost 39 but you've only lost 12?"....I was shocked. Most people on MFP are really nice and supportive, but it's those few that make me want to slap someone!

    I'm so sorry about your friends son. I hope everything is okay.
  • rydn4h2o
    rydn4h2o Posts: 255
    Options
    I agree completely....
  • onefitdiva
    onefitdiva Posts: 331 Member
    Options
    Oh wow. Honestly I see this happen or hear of it from mfp friends and I do not understand it. I give the person credit for making an attempt to log when situations are bad. At least they are conscious of it. This is where the delete button comes in handy, your mfp friends list is just that yours. If someone judges you harshly especially with out having facts just assumptions they are not supporting they are criticizing or chastising. No one deserves that.
  • simplyblessed5
    simplyblessed5 Posts: 130 Member
    Options
    I completely agree with this and this is why my own food diary is private.
  • baypathgradLyns
    baypathgradLyns Posts: 639 Member
    Options
    what can I say, people are CRAY CRAYYYY!!!

    I would never say something like that to someone....so I totally agree with you, you never know the situation. I only respond to people's diaries when I have something good to say, or if they put a post asking for people to give their opinions...
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    Options
    To each his own.
  • Obstinate07
    Obstinate07 Posts: 89
    Options
    I agree. This is the main reason my food diary is still private. I have some crazy busy days where I make some really awful and I don't want someone to start judging me based on that one day where all I had was a can of Monster until after 2:00.

    Same here, my food diary is closed for a reason. I don't think we should be bashing and complaining about what other people have decided to do with THEIR bodies.
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
    Options
    Wow! We could all use a dose of reality. We never know what someone is going through.
  • jenlarz
    jenlarz Posts: 813 Member
    Options
    How on earth do people have time to look at someone else's food diary unless they ask for help? I know the point is the critsicsm and I agree, we're supposed to support each other not bash each other. there are plenty of ways to state an opinion without being nasty also.
  • sandy729
    sandy729 Posts: 232 Member
    Options
    Well said!
  • helse
    helse Posts: 35 Member
    Options
    Unbelievable!
    Its my first day on here today and Ive been so impressed with the support that MOST people seem to give each other.
    I thought the diary sharing was a fantastic idea but hadn't even contemplated anyone would DARE criticize like that!
    A real shame.
    Wish your friend and her family well and I hope it hasn't put her off.
  • jenlarz
    jenlarz Posts: 813 Member
    Options
    How on earth do people have time to look at someone else's food diary unless they ask for help? I know the point is the critsicsm and I agree, we're supposed to support each other not bash each other. there are plenty of ways to state an opinion without being nasty also.
  • CuteAndCurvy83
    CuteAndCurvy83 Posts: 570 Member
    Options
    This is one reason I love the friends I have, on a law cal day they don't just assume I didn't eat, they will usually say something like "your count looks low today are you feeling ok?" Maybe if I had a friend that I seen only netting 600 cals a day every day and talking about how fat and disgusting they are, then I may say what I could to encourage them, and let them know I was a bit worried, but coming across as a calorie Nazi doesn't help anyone.
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    Options
    I agree completely.

    I honestly feel sorry for the people that are so mean to others because the real reason they are mean is because they don't like who they are... They pretend they are tough, hide their own fears and insecurities, and are generally unhappy & bitter... and because of this they take out all their aggression on others - by trying to make others feel weak too.
  • shanahan_09
    shanahan_09 Posts: 238 Member
    Options
    Very well said!!

    I think some people love to be negative, and stir up the *kitten* for the sake of drama because they can't take care of their own problems, I hope your friends' son is okay...my heart goes out to her...nothing worse than seeing your child hurting. :flowerforyou:
  • shcarter67
    shcarter67 Posts: 46
    Options
    Thank you sis for the support. Well said with the message also. CJ is okay and is back at school. I have read all the wonderful and supportive messages that everyone has left and I want to thank everyone for being so supportive. I had a really crappy day yesterday, but made through and today is very stressful also. I am now having to deal with the school and school board. No one wants to listen to me. I am so stressed and frustrated. I can not afford a lawyer either so I can not sue. I am at my wits end.

    Hello. I am sorry to hear about your troubles, and hope your son is doing better. I don't know your circumstances with regard to the trouble with the school, but I wanted to offer a piece of information in case you can use it. Not sure how it is in your state, but here in Maryland, if you contact the local Bar Association (typically for the county in which either you live, or in your case where the school is located), they may be able to put you in touch with an attorney who will handle your case pro bono (no fee). May be something worth looking into.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Options
    This is one reason I love the friends I have, on a law cal day they don't just assume I didn't eat, they will usually say something like "your count looks low today are you feeling ok?" Maybe if I had a friend that I seen only netting 600 cals a day every day and talking about how fat and disgusting they are, then I may say what I could to encourage them, and let them know I was a bit worried, but coming across as a calorie Nazi doesn't help anyone.

    If I see something that looks "off" on a MFPal's diary, like really low calories, I will say something to the effect of "are you feeling ok?" or something like that, if I don't know what's up...sometimes I won't say anything, because I just don't know. If I have friends who chronically undereat but are asking for help, I might say something to encourage them...the few days I haven't logged due to illness, or whatever, my longtime MFP buddies have asked about it. There's a way to show concern without being judgemental.
  • melbhall
    melbhall Posts: 519
    Options
    Wow! Well I stick by the thought that it's easy to sit back and bash you when they know they are safe behind a computer! I have friends on here that don't always eat enough or don't eat great, but I know I'm not the perfect role model and I'm here BECAUSE I need support, so I don't criticize them because obviously they need help too! How dare that person say that! Sorry your friend had a rough day hen had to be judged by some idiot. I guess that's why my diary is closed. I have a hard enough time pleasing myself, I surely don't want to hear it from a stranger when they think I've made bad decisions!

Categories