it's a shame we can't get off our high horses and really be
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Sry you have to deal with this. My son had a chronic illness and I was able to get a lot of help, including free legal advise from the national group that supports his disease. You should try contacting them. And if you are in the US there is federal law in place to get him the things he need to be safe in any public school called Section 504 http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/civilrights/resources/factsheets/504.pdf and here is a parents guide explaining how it relates to educationThank you sis for the support. Well said with the message also. CJ is okay and is back at school. I have read all the wonderful and supportive messages that everyone has left and I want to thank everyone for being so supportive. I had a really crappy day yesterday, but made through and today is very stressful also. I am now having to deal with the school and school board. No one wants to listen to me. I am so stressed and frustrated. I can not afford a lawyer either so I can not sue. I am at my wits end.
http://www.greatschools.org/special-education/legal-rights/868-section-504.gs. I don't know if this is any help but I remember how overwhelmed I was when my son was first sick and newly diagnosed. HUGS. If you need any help, support anything friend me and pas me a note.
I'm not even going to address what happened yesterday to you here because in all honesty nothing is more important than getting what you need for your son.0 -
I personally don't see any point in posting to the forums to complain about something that happened - Yes I get it hurt someones feelings and that totally sucks.... But posting here talking about getting off high horses is not going to make those on the high horse get off.. they probably don't even care...
Not to sound like a total b!tch or anything but to the person or persons who were quick to jump the gun and not ask questions first I would have deleted them off my friends list, and that would have beenit.
Was your friends day ideal? NO,
should the person(s) have asked questions before jumping the gun? probably....
has your friend had other days that were bad and looked like a 600 cal day? because when I notice my new friends not eating enough, I generally leave it for a while but if I know its a repeated issue I will delete them because I feel we do not have the same kind of goals. (I am in no way saying this is your friend)
This the internet, and it is a free forum, and face it people are mean... getting your feelings hurt is just a waste of time imho.
To your friend, I am glad her son is ok (I think I read that in a comment), just ignore the people who do not mesh with you and move on..0 -
I totally agree. I'm pretty new here and got my first nastygram with my first post. I don't know what it is about this site.......I have belonged to two other (non-free) diet/fitness forums and no one ever treated fellow members like they do on this site. I also keep my diary private and rarely comment. It's sad really...........I know there are some really great folks here, but a few bad apples ruin the experience for all of us.0
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I totally agree… That's why I don't really follow the same thought as a lot of people that delete their "friends" on here when they haven't logged in for a month. I realize it might come across that this person isn't serious or something, but what if they are going through something huge? What if they are balled up in a corner discouraged that they'll never change their bad habits, they think they'll be fat forever and don't think they can stick with it?
I'm not sure about other people on here, but this is not my first time trying to lose weight, and there's been many times when I've been discouraged and thought I'll never get there, and then give up for a while. Sometimes I wish people would have reached out and offered encouragement rather than hitting the delete button. Maybe it would have saved me a lot of tears, or pounds.
Some of my friends on here pulled me out of a funk a few months ago when I was just logging sporadically. I was so discouraged and upset, but because of a kind encouraging email I found the will to keep going with a fresh perspective. I think that's what MFP is all about and we need to be there for each other.0 -
Have you considered extending the same patience and generosity toward the people you are chastising for not doing so? As you say, we don't know how someone spends the entire day. Likewise, a person offering criticism couldn't possibly have guessed someone eating 600 cals had a family emergency. But 600 calories is something to be concerned over. How do we know the person expressing concern didn't recently have to deal with a loved one that died from anorexia and was feeling especially emotional and protective of his/her friends?it's really sad to me when you come across someone who thinks they have all the answers and judge based on someone else's food diary or exercise program. We have to remember we are all on the road to better health and our journey may not go the same direction but at least we are on one. A friend of mine (in real life) was bashed for her food diary very rudely yesterday. Now this person had no idea she spent the entire day in the ER with her son and was able to choke down 600 calories over the course of the day. She told her she was ridiculous for having a diet coke for lunch and then posted about not going to support annorexics and what not. Who is this person? Who knows they live on the other side of the world...not a part of our daily lives but words can still hurt. I wish people here (of course not all people) could get off their high horse and realize we are all human. Remember the saying our grandma's used to say: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all....I think we should follow it. Now constructive criticism is welcome but what makes a person think THEY have all the answers? Is it when they hit 10lbs gone, 20...30 or 50? At what point do you become and EXPERT? I think never...everyone is different. Just some food for thought....
I don't know the situation any more than what you've written to describe it above. But I do think everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. And I don't think offering feedback or criticism is the same as pretending to have all the answers. Maybe I'm naive, but I think most people here are genuinely good, and trying to help (including expressing concern at what they see as a dangerously low calorie intake).
Just offering a different perspective.0 -
I'm also so sorry that this happened to your friend. Some people are just rude. There seems to be a handful of offenders (I've pinpointed 7 so far and have put them on ignore). I'm not sure what makes them the experts with their "superior" attitudes. The majority of them have been on here for a long time and their losses are small so I figure they can't know that much!!
I think everyone of us is on a different journey to the same destination. Screaming at someone about how they will fail if they don't get their oars is pointless if their map takes them over land! Some of us will float along and be there quickly and others will climb endless mountains for a long time. The important thing is that we help each other along the way.
I hope your friend's son is feeling better and she gets a chance to de-stress....having a sick child is one of the most stressful things in the world!0 -
Where's the "like" button?
I had something similar happen to me today. I posted a strength training routine that I was given to do recently, in hope that it may help the person that started the discussion since they wanted tips.
Then someone comes in and said, that's great! If you're an 80 year old! And you are 29. I would fire the person that gave you the routine (which is actually from my exercise specialist and it's a FREE program). Unless you have had some kind of injury to prevent you from doing regular exercises.
Guess what? YEAH!!! I did have an injury that prevents me from doing a LOT of movements. Walking, standing, sitting, it all hurts me a great deal. So my exercise specialist was aware of my circumstances and found things that I could do, with little to no pain.
We are not all created equal!!!0 -
I personally don't see any point in posting to the forums to complain about something that happened - Yes I get it hurt someones feelings and that totally sucks.... But posting here talking about getting off high horses is not going to make those on the high horse get off.. they probably don't even care...
Not to sound like a total b!tch or anything but to the person or persons who were quick to jump the gun and not ask questions first I would have deleted them off my friends list, and that would have beenit.
Was your friends day ideal? NO,
should the person(s) have asked questions before jumping the gun? probably....
has your friend had other days that were bad and looked like a 600 cal day? because when I notice my new friends not eating enough, I generally leave it for a while but if I know its a repeated issue I will delete them because I feel we do not have the same kind of goals. (I am in no way saying this is your friend)
This the internet, and it is a free forum, and face it people are mean... getting your feelings hurt is just a waste of time imho.
To your friend, I am glad her son is ok (I think I read that in a comment), just ignore the people who do not mesh with you and move on..0 -
oops don't know how to quote. You are kinda like the people I'm talking about. If you don't agree with a post why even comment? I just don't get it. Thank you everyone for your kind words and SUPPORT...her son is going to be ok.0
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I have a lot of circumstances that messes with my diet, like lowblood sugar ,and then I do the best that I can.Something is better than nothing. SSoooo I can understand how you feel. I am glad your friends son will be okay, nothing worse that a young one in the hospital.0
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I always try to keep things positive as much as I can on the forums. Unless someone asks for feedback, it is pretty rude to berate them for their food choices. Even if they ask for feedback, though, there is no reason to treat them like an idiot, accuse them of being anorexic or otherwise belittle them. I just don't see how it helps anyone to be berated and belittled. Your friend's story is a good reminder that we should never assume that we know what is going on with other people and should always seek to understand before judging.0
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At the end of the day it's your dairy and your life. If you want to spend all day sitting at home eating ice cream, that's your choice. If someone wants to get upset over it, it's really not their place and quite frankly none of their business. I don't bother to make my diary private solely because I really don't care what others think. I try my hardest to exercise as much as I can and eat as healthy as I possibly can, no one has the right to judge me on that. I know that I'm doing my best and to me that's all that matters. A stranger is not going to change my views in any way.0
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We are here to support each other not criticize...I hope she doesn't let that one rude person get her down on herself for trying to improve her life. We all have off days....one of mine included a Snickers Blizzard..(LOL) Just keep going and ignore the negativity.0
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If people really were concerned for your friend they should have sent her a message, not posted up their bitter comments.
TACT would be a really good word for some people to look up, I don't think they've ever heard of it.........0
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