My thoughts on some recent forum posts

I posted this on my blog and if you like it pop over and vote for it http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/catgirl711/view/thoughts-on-some-recent-forum-readings-200617

People can be mean and people can be cruel. The last thing anyone wants when they're looking for support is someone tearing them down. Yes sometimes people post some stupid questions in the forums. Yes most of the time the question has been asked before and they just needed to search it but that doesn't mean you should tear them apart for not using the search function.

Remember that Golden Rule Idea from grade school? Do unto others as you want done unto you? Some basic idea. Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you were confused about something and asked for some help and people just responded calling you stupid and slow how would you feel?

No one is perfect and everyone needs help sometimes

Yes some people have said "Well how are they going to fix the problem if they aren't made aware of it, if no one says anything?"
Well that's all well and fine, but you can find a way to say it without tearing the person down. Without calling them fat or stupid or anything.

All it takes is one bad response, one person being a complete *kitten* to put someone back into those bad habits.

Yes I know that purging and starving myself isn't healthy but if I ask for advice on how to work with it, how other people have handled it? And someone responds by telling me it's unhealthy to purge, very unhealthy to starve myself, I'm stupid for doing that, why can't I just eat better? Why can't I just force myself to eat when I'm in starvation? What's wrong with me?

That is one of the easiest ways to push me over the edge. When I seek out help and I'm shut down, torn down, belittled. This kind of reaction can easily send me into a binging phase or a major starvation phase depending on responses and my current stress levels

I have diagnosed, well understood eating disorders. The psychology behind them are not well understood but they are real. It's not all in my head.

People don't think about the real impact of their words when they say things. They have no excuse being online. You have plenty of time to think about what you want to say, how to word it and if you even really need to say it. If all you have to say is an insult or belittling comment, keep it to yourself.

The single mom of two kids that is eating WW frozen dinners two times a day is at least trying to make better food choices than going to McDonald's or Burger King. The parent who counts yard work and house work as their exercise because they are working 60 hours a week and trying to raise a family is at least trying to add things into their life to get them more active.

The moral of the story? Don't judge other people. You don't know their lives, you don't know their circumstances, and you definitely have no idea of the mental state that they are in that has put them where they are today. Don't belittle others comments or questions. Answer them or don't. Answer truthfully but remember that a little bit of tact, a little compassion goes a long way.

All it takes is one good, compassionate, tactful response to make someone's day. Will you be that person?