Not sure how to take this???

Melissaol
Melissaol Posts: 948 Member
edited November 8 in Motivation and Support
Last night I was bowling. One of the girls on the other team,(which we are all friends). said something that really bothered me.
I was talking to another lady about getting up in the morning and working out. Cause she gets up early to. Then this other lady said that I was stupid for getting up early and working out. That is just stupid. Which she is skinny but at one time she was alot bigger. She was drinking beer.at the time. Then when she figured out that I was not drinking that night oh my that started another thing....
I know that I shouldn't let it get to me. Cause Im doing what is right for myself and I enjoy it. But when peoplle say things like that it just gets to me.

Replies

  • Meghan0116
    Meghan0116 Posts: 1,268 Member
    Is she the skinniest member of your friend's group? Maybe she wants to keep it that way? I can never understand why women make these types of comments and don't mind voicing criticisms without prompting. We should be supporting each other, not putting each other down.
  • Photoology
    Photoology Posts: 121 Member
    I have a friend who thinks getting up any earlier than 9am is ridiculous... while my boyfriend and I both get up between 4 and 6 am daily. She probably thinks its stupid because obviously she didn't do it but she also is stupid for judging your lifestyle. I know its hard to ignore those people, but remember you are living your lifestyle for you and obviously you had a friend there who shared your thoughts on early morning workouts... plus the sunrise can be one of the most beautiful moments of the day :)
  • 2hungariangirls
    2hungariangirls Posts: 220
    She clearly is jealous of you. People are idiots and do not think before they speak. Good for you trying to make yourself better! Keep it up!
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    She clearly is jealous of you. People are idiots and do not think before they speak. Good for you trying to make yourself better! Keep it up!

    This. It simply screams jealousy.
  • MichelleUnger
    MichelleUnger Posts: 13
    Sounds like someone is jealous of your motivation and they are not in a good place right now. Skinny doesn't mean fit. We all have choices to make in this world and they are our personal choices to make. Seriously? She dare question what you are doing? You are taking good care of yourself and finding time (whenever it may be) to be healthy. Good for you - ignore the haters. They usually have something else in their life that is troubling them so they project it on to someone else. I am also a morning exerciser (5:30 am. oftentimes - before my kids get up) and avoid alcohol for the most part (family history of problems - plus I would rather have a ice cream than a beer). Keep up the good work!
  • tbudge
    tbudge Posts: 114
    I used to get up at 4am to work out...I have to be to work at 6am. This was the best time that worked for me. People would tell me all the time that I was crazy and it just wasn't worth it. I found that people are either jealous of the fact that you can be so motivated or they just plain feel guilty that they aren't taking care of themselves. Or both! I know it's easy to say don't let it get to you...much easier said than done, especially when you work so hard!!! But, keep in mind that you are doing what's right and what's best for you! No one else can do that, only you! So keep it up! Your best "revenge" will be your results!
  • MichelleUnger
    MichelleUnger Posts: 13
    Absolutely...women need to stick together and support one another. Could never understand that whole putting down thing. We have enough challenges in the world taking care of ourselves while juggling multiple priorities. Give your girlfriends a break!
  • dontwantausername1
    dontwantausername1 Posts: 120 Member
    Last night I was bowling. One of the girls on the other team,(which we are all friends). said something that really bothered me.
    I was talking to another lady about getting up in the morning and working out. Cause she gets up early to. Then this other lady said that I was stupid for getting up early and working out. That is just stupid. Which she is skinny but at one time she was alot bigger. She was drinking beer.at the time. Then when she figured out that I was not drinking that night oh my that started another thing....
    I know that I shouldn't let it get to me. Cause Im doing what is right for myself and I enjoy it. But when peoplle say things like that it just gets to me.
    If it happened last night and it is still bothering you, say something. People who were previously fat (now skinny) seem to want to poke fun at everyone else to boost their ego which was low because of the extra pounds. She probably likes to act like she doesn't move an inch and eats burgers all day. Try not to let her bother you! She's annoying for trying to get in your conversation with your friend.
  • dontwantausername1
    dontwantausername1 Posts: 120 Member
    Is she the skinniest member of your friend's group? Maybe she wants to keep it that way? I can never understand why women make these types of comments and don't mind voicing criticisms without prompting. We should be supporting each other, not putting each other down.

    THIS! My thoughts exactly.
  • MichelleUnger
    MichelleUnger Posts: 13
    Absolutely - the proof will be good health. Sometimes you have to avoid toxic people too. They have no place in your life, especially when you need all the support you can get. I have had to walk away from those I "thought" were friendly (really wolves in sheep's clothing) and I will tell you I am 100% better off because of it.:smooched:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    How odd. Did she give some reason for saying it was stupid? Like maybe she'd heard morning workouts were less effective. Regardless of her reasons, outside of the obvious *kitten* type stunts, telling anyone that something they are doing is stupid is just rude. And there is little to do with rudeness except ignore it.
  • Melissaol
    Melissaol Posts: 948 Member
    I did say something to her right away. She didn't like it. But to bad. I just told her that Im doing it for my self and its nice to get up and get it done with so I can have the rest of the day for myself, and family and friends.
  • bert16
    bert16 Posts: 726 Member
    Colour me hyper-rational, but I couldn't possibly get upset at something someone said that is completely nonsensical. I might pity her a bit for her complete lack of logic and knowledge, but that's about the only reaction I could muster to a statement like that.

    In other words: ignore & keep doing what you *know* is right! :flowerforyou:
  • Melissaol
    Melissaol Posts: 948 Member
    I have been thinking about it this morning. And I have decided that this makes me want it even more. Things like that just pushes me even more. So when I get to my goal its like take that. I don't know if that is the right way but thats how it makes me feel...:bigsmile:
  • UltraRoyal
    UltraRoyal Posts: 49
    unfortunatly it is jealousy, and not just the getting fit on your end (she may be jealous of other aspects of you) and being fitter was the one up on you that she had. You should take it as a complement, its the only thing you should take from haters.
  • frosty73
    frosty73 Posts: 424 Member
    WHY would getting up and exercising be "stupid"? That doesn't even make sense. I had a friend who would get up at 3:30 AM because she had 6 kids at home and that was the only time she could make it to the gym. If she was crazy, she was crazy like a skinny woman! Stupid? Exercising in the morning is AWESOME for your metabolism. So get up and GO! :smile:
  • savlyon
    savlyon Posts: 474 Member
    Colour me hyper-rational, but I couldn't possibly get upset at something someone said that is completely nonsensical. I might pity her a bit for her complete lack of logic and knowledge, but that's about the only reaction I could muster to a statement like that.

    In other words: ignore & keep doing what you *know* is right! :flowerforyou:

    This. The whole argument reminds me of myself trying to reason or argue with my 5 year old. Have you ever seen someone argue with a 5 year old? It is the most ridiculous thing ever. Same with arguing with someone who is drinking a beer and making fun of someone for exercising. It's pointless and stupid.

    Keep up the great work and awesomeness!
  • leeirvin
    leeirvin Posts: 1
    When you are doing the right things and forming the right habits, there will be people who take shots at you.

    You are doing the right thing for you. Please never lose sight of that.
  • wpgmom
    wpgmom Posts: 11 Member
    I think it's insecurity on her part. Often insecure people raise themselves up by putting others down (VERY often). There are lots of ways to do it, this is just one of them. And skinny is a relative term. You might think she's skinny but she might not think so. Her insecurity might also be completely unrelated to weight (maybe she feels inferior in some other way). I think she would have latched on to anything you say to make herself feel superior. It's kind of sad.
  • JamCubeChi
    JamCubeChi Posts: 378 Member
    Pay her no attention-you have to do what is best for you and you know why you're doing it-the reward will be yours not hers. Try not to dwell on it just make a mental note that she may be one who may want to sabbotage your efforts and be prepared next time. Sounds a little like the green eyed monster coming out in her. Keep on doing what you are doing and hang in there! :smile:
  • ahinescapron
    ahinescapron Posts: 351 Member
    People really like for things to stay the same. You have always been a certain way (perhaps the chubbier friend) and she is not ready for that to change. When I lost weight several years ago, I lost several female friends with it. It really hurt my feelings and there was a lot of backstabbing and snarky comments. I think at some point if you start looking good, you become competition. I am not sure why some women are this way...
  • amhuerta
    amhuerta Posts: 19 Member
    I agree with what others are saying and I just want to say good for you for standing up to her. You are doing amazing and keep up the good work. If anything you will know who your true friends are and be a better person surrounded by better people. Life is too short to be around negativity and things that make us unhappy:)
  • estjames
    estjames Posts: 76
    Maybe she has been gaining weight from her beers so she wanted to take it out on you because you have self control.
  • DiannaMoorer
    DiannaMoorer Posts: 783 Member
    She clearly is jealous of you. People are idiots and do not think before they speak. Good for you trying to make yourself better! Keep it up!

    Awesome profile picture!
  • Melissaol
    Melissaol Posts: 948 Member
    After bowling was done I went home. Most of the others went up to the bar. I guess when they got to the bar. She started again about me getting up early and exercising. A few of the other girls stuck up for me. And said good for her and its good for you to get up early and exercising ...
  • 2hungariangirls
    2hungariangirls Posts: 220
    After bowling was done I went home. Most of the others went up to the bar. I guess when they got to the bar. She started again about me getting up early and exercising. A few of the other girls stuck up for me. And said good for her and its good for you to get up early and exercising ...

    Are you serious?? What IS her deal? Well, misery loves company and sounds like she was definitely wanting someone to bash to make herself feel better. Sorry you were the "lucky" one last night. You got this! She'll just get fat from the beer.
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