My First NSV

I have issues with food. I'm working on recovering from an eating disorder right now alongside improving my general fitness. I have always self-medicated with food -- in very large quantities. A bad day could mean 4000+ calories in a single sitting on top of my day's meals.

Anyway, today was a garbage day. I went up 0.2 lbs on the scale despite a hardcore workout, I'm anxious about a conference on Saturday, intimidated by a potential social event tomorrow, depressed about my stagnant career, and having an all-around ugly day (I have a lot of those. I generally do regard myself as being quite exceptionally ugly). I wanted to come home and binge my face off. Then of course I would immediately regret it, pop a dozen or so laxatives, and not eat anything for a couple days. And, since none of that crap is as effective as the b*stard voice in my head would have me believe, I'd still gain weight.

Instead... I went to the gym.

60 minutes on the elliptical and I am a walking endorphin rush! Plus, instead of feeling like a giant ball of self-loathing a** tomorrow, I'm going to feel good about what I did tonight. Eff yeah, recovery!