PLEASE HELP ME!!! Seriously...

VictoriaAStone
VictoriaAStone Posts: 54
edited November 8 in Motivation and Support
ok, so my Name is Victoria Stone and I am 25 in July. I am 5"8 and weight 13.13! Ideally i am told i should weigh between 10 and 11 stone. I love exercising and i love eating healthy.

Here is the problem, I love food a lot more than i do exercising!!

I would love to get down to a size 10/12 and 11 stone but i just cant find the motivation.

Im very happy in my love life and my family life, i enjoy my work and i have great friends. Nothing really is there to get me down, other then my living arrangements. My boyfriend and i live with my grandfather and I am a career for him. At times i find it extremely difficult (although we do receive alot of help) as selfishly i want to move on in my life and get a place which my boyfriend and i can call our own. Anyway.... I would LOVE absolutely love to loose 3 stone but i just cant find the motivation to do it, we joined the gym late october early november last year and we have been about 8 times. Because i have to go home and sort my grandad and his tea out first we cant go straight from work and then to get motivated to go later on in the evening (when my grandad is in bed at 7) is very, very hard.

I suppose what I am asking here is:- Has anyone got any motivationly tips they could give me? or what made you finally realise you had to change your ways?

I am a bridesmaid for a close friend in June but even that at the moment doesnt motivate me. Problem is i want to see fast results, i cant get my mind set to realise that isnt how it works!!!

Please help.

From one desperatly miserable fat girl!

Replies

  • Nitachi
    Nitachi Posts: 142
    It's a matter of self discipline and how much you want it, if you find yourself making too much excuses then it is best to either get someone to do it with you and hold you accountable or ask hubby to keep you away from temptation and kick you out of bed to go exercise.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    I am not sure this attitude toward health and fitness is good for steadfast results.
    No offense, but think about looking at this another way.
    Think long-term.
    And forget fast results.
    You have come to the right place, and consider the MFP recommendations.
    Getting fit is simple but hard.
    Just get started by going into settings to Update diet/fitness profile.
    Set your goals for 1 lb weight loss per week.
    NO MORE! Again, this is not a race.
    And eat lean meats, low fat dairy, nuts, whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies.
    Do both cardio and resistance exercise.
    AND EAT BACK YOUR EXERCISE CALORIES~!
    That's it.
    Again, quite simple.
    The easy part is the what to do; the hard part is the doing.

    Good Luck!
  • jbahrami
    jbahrami Posts: 206 Member
    I agree...it's about self discipline. Start with small gradual steps...make one modification each week and focus on that. By the end of one month, you'll have made four changes to your lifestyle without added stress of trying to change everything at once. You can even try to fit in some home exercises to help pump up that motivation you're desperately seeking.
  • LFern
    LFern Posts: 141
    I gained over 50 lbs while taking care of my elderly father. I would run to his place, get him supper and settled for the evening, run home, make supper for MY 3 kids and husband, try to clean house, work a part time and a full time job - I was running at high speed at all times and never looking in the mirror.

    1/2 hour a day is all that is needed to make a difference. Save the money from the gym. Take a walk. Learn Yoga. Jogging in place, jumping rope, lifting cans of vegy's - it's all beneficial to YOU. Even if you need to hide in the bedroom or bathroom for 1/2 a hour just for YOU time - it CAN be done!

    You will be proud of all you have done for your Grandfather - you are earning your Angel Wings - right now it is overwhelming, but it is what one does for family and those we love. We just have to remind ourselves that in order to fully love others - we must love ourselves first.

    ((((HUGS))))) to you for being the kind soul you are and good luck to you on your journey to finding YOU!
  • Doha123
    Doha123 Posts: 3
    Try going to the gym in the morning instead. If your grandad needs help then maybe your partner can do it in the morning and you settle him in the evening while he goes to the gym. Ask the gym to do a program for you and try and touch base with a personal trainer every 2 weeks or so to make it appropriate to the level you are then. Basically you are the only person who can make yourself do it and there is never a good time to start. If you wait then you may have kids (and nobody wants to go into a pregnancy carrying too much extra weight) and after they arrive you will really need to be motivated to keep up your weight loss. Start now, do your bride a favour by dropping a bit of weight before the wedding but most of all do it for your health and happiness.
  • DiamondEyes_x
    DiamondEyes_x Posts: 120 Member
    I'm a bridesmaid in May, that's why I'm doing it. If you're unhappy with your weight now, think about how you'll look on the day (I'm not saying you'll look bad, just if you're still unhappy, you won't enjoy the day and regret not dieting now)

    You don't HAVE to go to the gym, just eat a lot of healthy foods and go for walks, for about an hour in the morning or after your grandfather has gone to bed, a nice walk at night may relax you.

    The weight might come off slowly but June is a while away, you should see some progress by then :)
  • mrmartyjohnson
    mrmartyjohnson Posts: 1
    Try something other than the gym. Martial arts worked for me. After 6 years I received my black belt, but due to a knee injury, I quit the martial arts. However, I had gotten used to working out 2 to 3 times a week. So after I quit the martial arts my body craved the work out. Now I go to the gym 2-3 times a week because my body wants to....

    Having a goal other than fitness can really change your perspective. Goals like I want to run a 5K or achieve my next belt level or place well in the next sport competition are very different ways of looking at why you would want to go to the gym.
  • Ruta83
    Ruta83 Posts: 1
    It sounds like you have a lot on your mind right now and would like to lose weight but do not know how to go about it. If you are not familiar with going to the gym, then it can is hard to be motivated to go. I suggest that you start with something smaller, such as going for a brisk walk or doing an exercise video. If you do get the motivation up to go to the gym then that is great. I find that I am rarely motivated to go, however after I get there I see the benefits. You just need to do something to get started! Also, after you start exercising you will begin to notice that your body is more in tune for what you body needs for nutrients.
    It is ideal if your boy-friend is a source of encouragement for you. My husband and I have dessert one day a week and the rest of the week we have healthy snacks between meals (fruit and veggies).

    I hope this helps! :smile:
  • sandown12
    sandown12 Posts: 648 Member
    Exercise alone I saw wont lose weight

    \\\\\\\\\\getting the motivation to do this is something that personal to you beleive me 22 years of 'diets' got me here and struggling to find the motivation and stick at it is the toughest

    Imagion this is what I do if you dont do this you could be 42lbs heavier by Christmas if you do ,do this you could be a goal WOW
    Thats true as I lost 57lbs in 2010 hurt my knee couldnt exercise got low and in a year gained 42lbs it would of beeen more but ive been very active in buying a run down business.

    So think December 2012 GOAL
    or December 2012 +42lbs ?
  • tlcLynn58
    tlcLynn58 Posts: 2
    exercise doesn't have to be hard or formal. run in place at the stove as you cook. put on a timer and jumping jacks for one minute as fast as you can. simple things. increase as you go. once you get started it is addictive. get your family involved.... even if they laugh at you laugh back and keep on before you know it they will be encouraging you.
  • VictoriaAStone
    VictoriaAStone Posts: 54
    thankyou everyone for your kind words of encouragement!! You have all given me food for thought and i will start working on a better attitude towards what i want and stop with the excuses : )
  • reneepugh
    reneepugh Posts: 522 Member
    I am not sure this attitude toward health and fitness is good for steadfast results.
    No offense, but think about looking at this another way.
    Think long-term.
    And forget fast results.
    You have come to the right place, and consider the MFP recommendations.
    Getting fit is simple but hard.
    Just get started by going into settings to Update diet/fitness profile.
    Set your goals for 1 lb weight loss per week.
    NO MORE! Again, this is not a race.
    And eat lean meats, low fat dairy, nuts, whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies.
    Do both cardio and resistance exercise.
    AND EAT BACK YOUR EXERCISE CALORIES~!
    That's it.
    Again, quite simple.
    The easy part is the what to do; the hard part is the doing.

    Good Luck!

    Exactly. Welcome and good luck!
  • WannabeSexyBexy
    WannabeSexyBexy Posts: 104
    Read this...
    http://www.virginmedia.com/homefamily/health/10-things-about-losing-weight.php?ssid=1

    It stems from a program on the tele that I've seen a couple of times, and it's so easy and makes so much sense. This is just for starters though, the best thing you can do is up the exercise.

    I've recently started looking at sugar content in foods and the results are scary, try it, you'll see what I mean.

    And think of all that money you're wasting on the gym and not getting the benefits, look at their class timetable if they have one, that's all I do at my gym as I find I work harder and you know you're there for an hour and it's worth it, rather than just doing 10 mins here and there on the machines.

    You really do have to do it for yourself, but try and log into here as much as possible and you have me as a friend so message me if you ever want a winge, that's what we're here for :)
  • demhareis
    demhareis Posts: 35
    Weight loss is a long-term goal. Maybe your head and your heart are having trouble looking at the long-term. This is nothing against you as a person, but maybe being a carer might be affecting you more than you realise.

    I've done it before, and it's a hard thing. Everything we do for ourselves in our life is with the goal of achieving something greater than where we are now. But when you're caring for an elderly relative, we are not working towards a greater something. It's almost the opposite--an act of maintenance until your services aren't needed any more. That can drain the soul and affect one's vision.


    Perhaps your focus should be in what you have accomplished that day. Just focus on one day. After all, that's where you are.

    Have you eaten five veggies today? Have you had eight glasses of water?

    Now, exercise: general consensus says thirty minutes a day. But nothing says it has to be thirty minutes all at once. Try it in ten minute bursts.

    High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) is like Exercise Concentrate (just add water). Ten minute sessions are good. If you do it in cycles of 8seconds intensive 12s rest'n'recover, you might reap great benefits. Peak out that heart rate and let the aftermath do its work while you're getting on with other stuff.


    Don't try to fit Yet Another Thing into a busy day. Instead, look at what you already do, and see what you can do to make Better Choices for stuff that's already there.
  • secfrogs
    secfrogs Posts: 1 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time of it. But you've already started - posting on here means you clearly want to succeed.

    Maybe try being motivated by something else instead of weight-loss...
    When I used to go to the gym (in 2005-07), I was motivated by how much money I was spending! And it would make me feel really guilty if I didn't go! All that money on a monthly contract to only go once a week...? Not worth it.

    If that doesn't help (and I know getting motivated to leave the house in January when you're snuggled up and cosy is HARD!), try working out at home. I use free aerobics videos online - I can take the lap top, shut myself away, and sweat for 40 minutes!! Or maybe try any of the dozens fitness videos that come out this time every year. I get home and put on my work out gear straight away, even if I've got jobs to do first. I'll then do everything that needs doing, but because I'm already dressed for it, I don't really have an excuse not to do a bit of exercise.

    Make your targets small and gradual. Things like - In one month I would like to... Be able to walk up a particular hill without panting. I would like to... fit into a smaller dress size.
    It doesn't always have to be about what the scales say.

    I have a photo of myself I hate (at my heaviest) next to a photo of myself as I used to be (MUCH lighter!) on my desk at work. It stops those snack-binges I used to allow myself when I got stressed! DEFINITELY helps me!
    Put a photo of the bridesmaid dress you've got to wear next you, in your purse, on your fridge...

    Don't have bad food in the house. Don't buy it, can't eat it.

    Don't stress if some days you slip up - just get STRAIGHT back on the wagon. It's slow, but you WILL get there.

    And the biggest motivation of all...? In about a month, people will start noticing, and the compliments will start, and you'll be well on your way, it will have become second nature to you. And that's not too long to wait really is it?
    Good luck with it all x
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    I didn't care about my weight or health until I found out I had diabetes II in Dec. 2009. It didn't matter that I was nearly 500 lbs. that didn't motivate me. It was the diabetes that did. I have family that have it and all take meds to control it. 1 uncle is 90% blind because of it.

    After losing my first 100 lbs. the diabetes went away. Doctor told me I completely reversed it. I no longer take meds. I could stop but I can easily get it again if I stop so I won't.

    As for excercise you need to find something you want to do. I find lifting boring but I do it anyways. I also enjoy swimming, jogging and Zumba. I suck at Zumba but I have fun. As for the lifting I know it will benefit me with what I do like to do so I keep it up.
  • VictoriaAStone
    VictoriaAStone Posts: 54
    Guys this is great and just what i needed to hear! thank you for all your comments. i should print them all off!!! :)
  • StrongGwen
    StrongGwen Posts: 378 Member
    it sounds like you are perfectly happy as you are, only your doctor says you are too heavy. If you want to get healthy for you, realize it is for the long-term, not a quick fix. You have to change things in your diet and your activity level. Maybe try just changing one bad food habit a week, or even a month, and doing some sort of physical activity every day-- walk to the store, or up and down the stairs some extra times, or just dance around like a wild woman to your favorite music. If you see and feel better, you will be motivated to continue. good luck!
  • daveainsworth
    daveainsworth Posts: 9
    1. Targets

    Set yourself small targets that you can achieve immediately. Each time you succeed it will make the next success easier.

    Don't set yourself targets you won't achieve. Do only what you feel you can, and increase it gradually.

    Join up for a 5k and fundraise for charity. You'll get loads of support. It may not seem it at first, but your body is built for running. It will adapt.

    Aim to reduce your weight by between 0.5lb and 1lb a week. It doesn't seem much, but it will get you to your target in only a few months.

    Don't worry if it doesn't work out quite right. You always get another try next week.

    2. Habits

    Set patterns. Try to exercise at the same time of day, and the same days each week.

    The best time to go to the gym is on your way home. If you don't go to the gym, try to exercise in another way on the way home. Walk or run regularly, and try to make it a bit further each time.

    Do it with friends. The more people join in, the better. If your friends support you, you can do anything. Go walking with them. It may not seem like much, but an hour's walk will do you the power of good.

    Buy some weights and put them next to the TV. Whenever you sit down to watch TV, use them.

    3. Food

    Look through your cupboards and find the highest-calorie foods. Read the backs of packets. Next time you go shopping, avoid everything that's high in sugar and fat. Buy carrots and fruit, and eat those instead of junk food. Particularly cut out any drinks apart from water, tea and coffee.

    Count every calorie. Use MFP every day, and it's remarkable how good you feel when you're on target.
  • WannabeSexyBexy
    WannabeSexyBexy Posts: 104
    1. Targets

    Set yourself small targets that you can achieve immediately. Each time you succeed it will make the next success easier.

    Don't set yourself targets you won't achieve. Do only what you feel you can, and increase it gradually.

    Join up for a 5k and fundraise for charity. You'll get loads of support. It may not seem it at first, but your body is built for running. It will adapt.

    Aim to reduce your weight by between 0.5lb and 1lb a week. It doesn't seem much, but it will get you to your target in only a few months.

    Don't worry if it doesn't work out quite right. You always get another try next week.

    2. Habits

    Set patterns. Try to exercise at the same time of day, and the same days each week.

    The best time to go to the gym is on your way home. If you don't go to the gym, try to exercise in another way on the way home. Walk or run regularly, and try to make it a bit further each time.

    Do it with friends. The more people join in, the better. If your friends support you, you can do anything. Go walking with them. It may not seem like much, but an hour's walk will do you the power of good.

    Buy some weights and put them next to the TV. Whenever you sit down to watch TV, use them.

    3. Food

    Look through your cupboards and find the highest-calorie foods. Read the backs of packets. Next time you go shopping, avoid everything that's high in sugar and fat. Buy carrots and fruit, and eat those instead of junk food. Particularly cut out any drinks apart from water, tea and coffee.

    Count every calorie. Use MFP every day, and it's remarkable how good you feel when you're on target.

    ^^^Great Reply^^^
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Through my life of yo yo dieting I've come to realize you've got to let go of the idea of results altogether...

    The psychological equation goes something like this:

    Want results + achieve results = go back to old habits = regain weight ---> want results... (and the cycle continues)

    Results are a future concept.

    Now I realized I have to have a NOW mindset that goes something like this: "I'm doing this for RIGHT NOW and no arbitrary time in the future. I eat better NOW to feel better NOW. I workout NOW to feel better NOW.

    Results are just a bonus side effect of this mindset.
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