This is why I hate my boyfriend:

Aliciaaah
Aliciaaah Posts: 379 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
Okay, so we've been together for six years. After three years I graduated high school and we were moving away together so I could go to college. At this point he was over 300 pounds.

Within a year of moving in with me he lost 100 pounds. No exercise, he just stopped eating burgers for lunch and eating two dinners. He didn't do anything! Still drinks soda and sweets, still scrapes every plate and pan, all of it. And keep in mind, this is allllll because of me, because he moved in with me. Meanwhile I've gained a large amount of weight within the 3 1/2 years we've lived together.

Yes, I'm proud of him, and I love the way he looks and LOVE that he's healthier. However, I wish it took some effort. I wish that at least, if it came so easy to him, that it would come at least a *little* easier for me. It makes me frustrated, and I hate to say it, but it was a little comforting him always being bigger than I was. Now he weighs over 10 pounds less.

My main frustration was that he was one of the things keeping me from losing. I can eat perfectly fine all day without him, but when dinnertime came around I had to accommodate for him. Since I've started here though he has been on board and very supportive. Now though, I'm going to be frustrated that he'll drop even more weight, still much faster than me, still without trying. Anyway, here he is in all his glory!


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Replies

  • ginger_nut
    ginger_nut Posts: 24 Member
    I totally understand. My boyfriend is a freaking machine. We both run, and I'll be feeling all good about myself and my 9 minute mile, until he calls me to tell me about the 8 mile run UP A MOUNTAIN he did and how he clocked a few 5.5min/miles. HE'S A MONSTER! And he can eat whatever the heck he wants and not gain a pound. Oh to be a man.
  • hazelnut861
    hazelnut861 Posts: 390 Member
    Congratulations to him. Now spike his stuff with pepsi and bacon hahahaha. Guys usually have more muscle mass and muscle burns more calories. Just keep it up and you'll get there. At least he's supportive.
  • sofitheteacup
    sofitheteacup Posts: 396 Member
    That IS frustrating! I have a similar relationship with a friend who is a total beast and then chows down a bucket of chicken legs for dinner and still seems to be doing great. Go figure.
    Focus on the part that your bf is supportive of what you're doing- there are so many other threads where husbands or significant others are resentful or unsupportive. Plus yours is kinda hot, AND sticking around despite weight fluctuations on both ends. Thankfully he's a good enough guy not to suddenly be like, woah I improved myself... gotta go find someone on my "new level".
    I'm obviously not saying that to be rude, but let's be honest, there are some really awful guys (and, fine, women too) out there who would legitimately have that kind of thought process.

    Be glad you have him. He sounds great. :)
  • nsimportant
    nsimportant Posts: 170 Member
    No exercise, he just stopped eating burgers for lunch and eating two dinners. He didn't do anything!
    Well he did do something he reduced his daily calories.
  • yuckidah
    yuckidah Posts: 290 Member
    My other half eats far too much of everything. He eats whatever he wants, whenever he wants.
    In the15yrs we've been together he has gained about 5kgs whereas I, who have been on a 'diet' pretty much the ENTIRE time, have gained 30!
    How the hell does that work?
  • 623Hernandez
    623Hernandez Posts: 458
    sorry double post
  • 623Hernandez
    623Hernandez Posts: 458
    No exercise, he just stopped eating burgers for lunch and eating two dinners. He didn't do anything!
    Well he did do something he reduced his daily calories.

    yup
  • logicandlove
    logicandlove Posts: 191 Member
    I'm far from an expert, but I've noticed that this is very common; men's bodies just don't hold on to fat the way ours do. It's biological. It sucks, but there it is. My boyfriend eats 2-3 thousand calories a day and weighs 140. He's nearly 6'1". So yeah, I feel your pain, but you just can't let it discourage you. Do be vocal about needing support, though. Mine's been very supportive since I started, and no longer keeps really unhealthy food around so it's not a temptation for me.
  • sblueyez
    sblueyez Posts: 156 Member
    Use it as your motivation! One thing that helped me was I stopped splitting our meals evenly. I measure and weigh for me, I guesstimate for him ( he is thin) and he eats seconds or I put the rest in the fridge. Instead of a 50/50 split, it is more like I get 1/3 or 1/4 and I just remind myself that it is all I NEED. It is frustrating how he would be skinny and I would gain if we ate the same. His caloric needs are just higher than mine. The most important thing is if he supports you. My husband gives me such a hard time when I cook vegetables. I have to sneak them in like you do with kids, or else force feed him! He may be thin but he isn't healthy enough to skip those greens!
  • Aliciaaah
    Aliciaaah Posts: 379 Member
    The reason I say "he didn't do anything" is because he didn't make an active effort. That is what we packed him for lunch so that is what he ate. He was never trying to lose weight, didn't care much, and it was only through my efforts to save on groceries that he lost weight. I obviously realize he cut calories, and I mentioned it. That just wasn't at all what I meant by didn't do anything. There was no active effort on his part.
  • Aliciaaah
    Aliciaaah Posts: 379 Member
    Yes! We ALWAYS used to split food 50/50! Now I'm coming around to cutting portions for the whole meal, AND taking less for myself.
  • Aliciaaah
    Aliciaaah Posts: 379 Member
    Congratulations to him. Now spike his stuff with pepsi and bacon hahahaha. Guys usually have more muscle mass and muscle burns more calories. Just keep it up and you'll get there. At least he's supportive.

    He WISHES I would spike his food with bacon! He'd think I was an even better best girlfriend ever. hahahaha He actually limits himself to one glass of soda a night now though, almost like a "treat". It's nice. But I still kinda wish he'd fatten up for me until I catch up!
  • nsimportant
    nsimportant Posts: 170 Member
    There was no active effort on his part.
    Its funny how this shows that exercising for weight loss is just making people frustrated with only minimal result difference.
    When I was exercising 2 times a day (P90X doubles) all it did was make me fatigued, eating 5 meals a day only made me hungry the whole day worrying about 30g of max carbs per meal made me go insane with food choices watching out for max 30g of protein because everything else will be wasted. All that HIIT fad just burned my muscles.
    And finally I found out that its all misinformation only thing that I truly believe is if i go over my TDEE all that extra fat i eat is gonna get easily converted to fat storage.
    So in conclusion id say starting small like remove excess calories is an awesome start to weight loss and if You are doing high intensity exercises please eat back your calories but if its some sort of mundane cardio dont.
  • wonnder1
    wonnder1 Posts: 460
    If it makes you feel better, one day he will go bald. :happy:
  • MikeSEA
    MikeSEA Posts: 1,074 Member
    I don't know how old he is, but past 30, one day he'll wake up and realize something is off. Eventually he'll realize that the metabolism he enjoyed in his youth left him and he's gained 20 lbs.

    That day is a sad, sad day.
  • sblueyez
    sblueyez Posts: 156 Member
    If it makes you feel better, one day he will go bald. :happy:

    Haha so true. He may end up with a spare tire. He may end up looking much older than you. What you do in your 20s shows in your 30s etc etc so take care of yourself!
  • Aliciaaah
    Aliciaaah Posts: 379 Member
    You guys are hilarious! I really do want the best for him! I just want me to be my best too, and it's been a struggle. So I take it out on him, just like everything else!
  • perdie7
    perdie7 Posts: 266 Member
    my husband says every fall..."time to gain the winter 10 pounds" and he does
    every spring he says "time to lose the winter 10" and he does. That's it thats all he does is make a statement and it happens. Seriously it does. I wish I could say "time to loose that 50 and away it goes. So not far.
  • deedster_a
    deedster_a Posts: 91 Member
    Don't focus on weight, focus on health. All those sweets, sodas and fried chicken will catch up with him one day in increased cholesterol, Type 2 Diabetes, kidney problems, etc. Focus your efforts on eating healthy foods most of the time. Don't deprive yourself, it will just lead to binging. If you slowly eat a bite of pie, cake, etc. and savor the flavor, move it around in your mouth so it touches all of your taste buds, you will find you don't need to eat half the cake to be satisfied. And after you start eating healthier foods, after a while you will find that the "bad" foods just don't taste that good any more.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    That sucks! You're going to have to tell him, "Honey, you were fat when we met, and I want you back the way you were. You've really let yourself go, and it has to stop!" Really guilt trip him about it until he caves. :laugh:

    Honestly, I've dated guys who ate whatever and never exercised and were skinny as rails. It's because men are such disgustingly lucky pigs. What can you do?
  • kristelpoole
    kristelpoole Posts: 440 Member
    Haha, when my boyfriend and I moved in together, he lost 25 pounds and I gained 15. I agree. It's totally unfair. :flowerforyou:
  • Aliciaaah
    Aliciaaah Posts: 379 Member
    Don't focus on weight, focus on health. All those sweets, sodas and fried chicken will catch up with him one day in increased cholesterol, Type 2 Diabetes, kidney problems, etc. Focus your efforts on eating healthy foods most of the time. Don't deprive yourself, it will just lead to binging. If you slowly eat a bite of pie, cake, etc. and savor the flavor, move it around in your mouth so it touches all of your taste buds, you will find you don't need to eat half the cake to be satisfied. And after you start eating healthier foods, after a while you will find that the "bad" foods just don't taste that good any more.

    Honestly, for the first time in a long time I can say that we do eat healthy. Since we've moved in together we've stuck to homemade meals. Our tortillas, beans, pork roast, hamburgers, chili, you name it, was all homemade with fresh ingredients. It's just not healthy food to start with. Now we've managed to incorporate much more vegetables and cut our mashed potato portions in half (or more in my case). He's definitely tried to cut his cravings for sweets too. I'm extremely good about resisting temptation. We've had a bucket of cheesecake mix in the fridge since Christmas (it's good til March, and cheesecake is my favorite) and cookie dough, all kinds of candy and whatnot. I haven't had a bite of it. He eats some chips every day for lunch and I never have any. So no matter his diet, it won't affect me until it comes to dinner, because we aren't going to cook two meals.

    I do love him thin, just not thinner than me. I could be much less bitter if I could be a healthy weight too! lol
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