Tough week, lying to myself....

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mjane166
mjane166 Posts: 14
in Motivation and Support
So....since the holidays, where all I wanted to do was maintain, and I did - I haven't really gotten back into the gym routine and eating right again. I was doing so well for about 3 months, and now I wasn't doing very well at all. I was down on myself, I was feeling ashamed and kind of angry even about what I was eating and doing to myself. I started eating when my husband was out of the house, handfuls of chocolate chips, peanut butter sandwiches, I even had a latte and didn't log it, because that would put me over my numbers. I hid what I was eating from him and from my food diary. STUPID, I know. I was hiding and lying to him, but what did I think I would accomplish by lying to myself?

Last night I came clean and told my husband about all the lies, he was very supportive. I felt better as soon as I said it out loud. I was being ridiculous. Now, obviously I have some issues when it comes to food and I need to deal with them. But if I am craving certain foods, like chips, candy or chocolate, I need to allow myself to have it - in moderation. The most important thing, I think is I am not going to feel guilty anymore, and I don't want to hide it anymore either.

I've had a few bad weeks, but I'm hoping that I'm back on track now.
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Replies

  • mjane166
    mjane166 Posts: 14
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    bump
  • jhyan
    jhyan Posts: 59 Member
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    Glad you realized that by hiding things from him, you were only hurting yourself. one of the keys is, don't beat yourself up over it. Getting depressed will only sabotage you. It happened, it's in the past, now you can move forward! Good luck and don't get discouraged!
  • danahake
    danahake Posts: 64 Member
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    Good for you. I completely understand ive been there too.
  • MJ7910
    MJ7910 Posts: 1,280 Member
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    this is why i didn't log yesterday or today, both very bad days for me. one was probaby 2000 and the other 2400 calories... i plan on getting back into it but let me tell you i know how it feels to lie to yourself and others. but tomorrow is sunday and it's a new week. back at it. only thing i am changing is not depriving myself. i'll stay within my calories and eat right but i am not going to to deprive myself of having things i like here and again. the thing is just watching the portions and not letting it turn into a full out binge. back at it this next week, let's stick with it
  • kristconrath
    kristconrath Posts: 10
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    I am very proud of you! You have to be honest with yourself and be able to admit your weakness. Now that you've faced your issues I have no doubt you will get back on track!! Your success is just around the corner..go get it!
  • Nic620
    Nic620 Posts: 553 Member
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    I'm happy for you that your husband was there for you. It's sounds like maybe you were too strict with yourself or maybe you have much more of a deep rooted problem. Sneaking food is only gonna hurt your goals. Don't deprive yourself things. Fit it into your daily intake. I hope with hearing you speak what you were doing out loud freed you from your guilt and will help with moving forward.
  • DrKarenLDavis
    DrKarenLDavis Posts: 4
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    I'm glad you came clean, even with posting your story here. We hide things when we are ashamed. Shame builds on more shame. Shame hurts and then we start to medicate to ease pain. So, it is possible that if you continued to hide and feel ashamed that you would medicate with food. Just my thoughts. Keep working on yourself.
  • cjb8900
    cjb8900 Posts: 27 Member
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    I think the most important part of this journey is simply being honest with yourself. Good on you for recognizing it.
  • Jujubie
    Jujubie Posts: 130 Member
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    The temptation to not log a handful of whatever to avoid going over is very human but your body knows what you put in it so you can't really hide. Much easier in the end to be truthful and grow. Your post is very inspiring.
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
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    Time to clear out the house of temptation and start fresh. You can do this, you have already made the first leaps.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    Good for you to bring this into the light with your husband and now to us! You can get back on track. I have found that eating things in moderation works so much better for me than total deprivation from things I love!
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
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    absolutely! I worked out today, as I do 6 days a week, but I did not want to do it. I am getting a cold or something and I just don't feel like it. I have however been craving some chicken fajitas nachos. So I got up early and put in my time at the gym and I ate my nachos. And they were so worth it.

    So, instead of sneaking around and lying to myself all the time, I now plan for it, By now, I mean the last month. You put it out there so well. And YOU are totally amazing for getting to this point.
  • Rayjewls
    Rayjewls Posts: 96 Member
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    Jillian Michael said "if you got a flat tire...you wouldn't get out the car and flatten the other the other three" get out 'fix that tire' and hoop back in...it's never to late.....never. :) keep your head up!!!
  • cholt03
    cholt03 Posts: 20 Member
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    I agree with Nic620! I'll eat a fun size bag of M & Ms, and that'll get my chocolate craving in and easily can fit into my daily calories. Just work it in and you'll be fine.
  • heidi2004
    heidi2004 Posts: 35 Member
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    you already took the first step!! whatever happens happens don't beat yourself up about it.One day at a time!! best of luck to you!!!;)
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
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    I hope the next few weeks are a huge success for you and that you feel good again about this journey
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    log everything stay accountable it really does help....and dont worry if your over on cals just stick with it and exercise what will happen is the good days start to outweigh the bad..always measure even if its double the serving....
  • leah_8303
    leah_8303 Posts: 28 Member
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    I do that often Lie to myself .. I want/need to lose weight but always end up eat over my Calorie Goal ..
  • Silverstar46
    Silverstar46 Posts: 187 Member
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    I had a bad day today because of a bad decision I made last night. (eating two hotdogs with chili sauce when a. Was NOT hungry b. Too many calories/cholesterol!)

    So today I didn't log my calories and decided.. I'll just have a 'cheat day'. I don't do them often, because I know how easily it could become a cheat week.

    You'll get back on track. The hardest part was admitting it to yourself and then someone that cares about you. You did that. You'll get focused again!
  • chell53
    chell53 Posts: 356 Member
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    Hang in there you can do this and you have all of our support plus your husbands support which is the best you can have......do little baby steps and you will get out of that hole..........smile

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