Self sabotage, why????

Booboo78
Booboo78 Posts: 169
edited November 8 in Motivation and Support
Why do we do this? Or rather, why do I do this?

Was doing really well, big health kick, lost some lbs, was well on track.

Went back to work after my Xmas/NY holidays and a few of my colleagues was telling me how much I've lost weight, that I looked amazing and toned, and how my skin has cleared up.

So what do I do? "Reward" myself with chocolates (didn't help that I had PMT at the time either, and I couldn't go to Zumba due to shift work). Now 2lbs BACK up :cry: Defo back on track now.

What is wrong with me? Does anyone else have this issue? How do you overcome it?

Replies

  • dcdickerson2
    dcdickerson2 Posts: 65 Member
    A lot of us do this. I've noticed I have a particularly hard time with January every year... I think it is because I work so hard through the holidays to not get derailed too much, and I'm just tired of being so committed. I let up, and my weight goes up. Don't be discouraged - you are normal. Go back to what was working for you and do something non-food to congratulate yourself!
  • Alisi1234
    Alisi1234 Posts: 131 Member
    You're not the only one!
    After a few days of doing amazing or even a whole day, I can sit down and eat a whole pizza. Then I beat myself up for the rest of the week and cant get back onto the 'healthy train.'
  • marielladear
    marielladear Posts: 28
    i'm the same, now im not weighing in until the end of february, I'm just going to do my best and hopefully i'll lose the weight again :)
  • Booboo78
    Booboo78 Posts: 169
    That might be a good idea - treat myself with something non-foody!

    It does seem to be a pattern though, it's like well I've lost weight (especially now people are noticing), all the hard work is done, and I can kick back a bit now and "treat" myself to "celebrate my success". Then the weight comes back on.

    If only I can get past that "reward" bit and persevere, carry on with my goals, as I still have a bit to lose.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,420 Member
    There is nothing wrong with you.


    You did what everyone does from time to time. And we all come back to the program. Some of us wait until it's thirty pounds, you came back after two! Excellent!

    Just keep on moving forward. Don't look back.
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,290 Member
    Chin up sweetie, you've found the problem. Most of us that have weight issues have them because we use food to comfort and to reward. The mental change is as important in this as the physical changes we make.

    So, instead of "rewarding" with food, figure out a different reward system. A mani-pedi for going to the gym at your scheduled time, every time. A new pair of shoes for dropping 5 pounds. If you have other hobbies, like painting or gardening, maybe purchasing a reward in that manner will help you push a bit harder.

    Retrain the brain and don't beat yourself up too badly. :)
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Because you're the only one who can sabotage your efforts. No one else is responsible for it. Once you realize mistakes are a part of the process of losing weight and becoming fit, you stop seeing it as sabotage and start to accept your own mistakes without being too hard on yourself about it. Eventually you won't do it so often. And then one day you won't even need to worry about it.
  • getinmabelly
    getinmabelly Posts: 23 Member
    Don't beat yourself up about it, for a start! We all have slips and if you think that you need to 'punish' yourself for straying from the path of right-food-ness then you're only going to prolong the agony. Instead, accept that you had the chocolate, and remember how it felt to do so. Then, the next time you find yourself wanting a chocolate/junk food fix, try to either work out a way in your daily allowance that will allow you to do so (but don't go mad!) or count to ten and ask yourself if this is going to help you reach your goal.

    I read somewhere once (probably on weight watchers) that a craving goes away after 20 mins. So if you can ride that 20 mins of desire out without succumbing, you're home and dry :-) But don't worry if you give in the odd time to temptation. Just as long as it's not every day.
  • AngelaChase84
    AngelaChase84 Posts: 23
    Because you're the only one who can sabotage your efforts. No one else is responsible for it. Once you realize mistakes are a part of the process of losing weight and becoming fit, you stop seeing it as sabotage and start to accept your own mistakes without being too hard on yourself about it. Eventually you won't do it so often. And then one day you won't even need to worry about it.

    Great advice! Because when we obsess over perceived failures we eat to feel better, making the problem worse! Freedom comes with self-acceptance.
  • areejabe
    areejabe Posts: 2
    I'm trying so hard to keep myself motivated . I want to be healthy and sexy again :)
  • TriedEverything
    TriedEverything Posts: 188 Member
    Can totally relate to this - I've done it more times than I can remember :frown: . It's very difficult to overcome (I don't think I've really figured it out myself yet, although I've managed to avoid that scenario since just after Christmas).

    Talking of Christmas....if you managed not to gain weight over Christmas & New Year, then you did really well, and must have at least a degree of self-control! :smile: I joined MFP in July 2011, only managed to lose about 12lbs, then put virtually ALL of it back on during the festive season (and you thought a 2lb gain was bad! :ohwell: )

    Just try to keep reminding yourself what your ultimate goal is, and as someone else just said, when you lose weight, treat yourself in some way that doesn't involve food. Easier said than done I know, but it will be worth it in the end! Keep thinking of the end result (that's what I'm trying to do :wink: )

    I'm sure you will soon lose the 2lb you gained!
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    After my very first round of 12 weeks of good eating and exercise, I was quite happy with myself. So happy in fact that I thought I was done. I fell off the wagon for about year after that before getting back on. I guess that was a form of self sabotage.

    Eating some chocolate and skipping a workout isn't any big deal, if it happens once in a blue, it's not worth spending any emotional energy worrying about it. Heck you can eat chocolate every day if you can fit it in to your diet. Acknowledge it and move on.
  • Booboo78
    Booboo78 Posts: 169
    I think what was disappointing was that I was so fired up after New Years, and raring to go with my weight loss mission, that to suddenly fall off the wagon, yet again, was just annoying!

    But after reading the replies, I am starting to get a non-food reward plan formulated:

    I'm really into collecting gemstones (I'm quite New Agey!), so I've decided that whenever I have a good weight loss, I will treat myself to a gemstone (only £1 - £2 from Amazon, much cheaper than a pizza or glass of vodka and coke!) and then when I hit my target, buy something nice like gemstone jewellery or perfume.
  • rachelmarie2774
    rachelmarie2774 Posts: 26
    I'm guilty of it too! It's so frustrating and it's my biggest downfall~ How can I overcome it?
  • NewTeena
    NewTeena Posts: 154 Member
    When I weighed in this morning I was up a half pound from my last weigh in. Instead of being disappointed about being a half pound heaver, I choose to be happy that I'm still 5.5 pounds less than my starting point. Celebrate the long term successes and learn from the bumps in the road. Every day is a new opportunity to make a better choice than we did yesterday.

    Good luck!

    :)
  • ErikaKBee
    ErikaKBee Posts: 26 Member
    For me, I had to remind myself that food is not a reward, nor a comfort. It's sustenance. It took me nearly 6 months of not seeing results for me to figure that out. Once I understood, I made it a point to plan everything ahead in MFP, especially if I knew we were "celebrating." And if you slip up, don't punish yourself. It happens all the time. Just re-commit and keep it moving.

    If you find other ways of rewarding yourself, it will make a world a difference. I have started rewarding myself with shopping. Use the money you would otherwise spent on calories, and put aside for a new wardrobe or doing something off your bucket list. This has worked extremely well with me.
  • ErikaKBee
    ErikaKBee Posts: 26 Member
    After my very first round of 12 weeks of good eating and exercise, I was quite happy with myself. So happy in fact that I thought I was done. I fell off the wagon for about year after that before getting back on. I guess that was a form of self sabotage.

    Eating some chocolate and skipping a workout isn't any big deal, if it happens once in a blue, it's not worth spending any emotional energy worrying about it. Heck you can eat chocolate every day if you can fit it in to your diet. Acknowledge it and move on.

    This is absolutely true. You don't have to deprive yourself. If you plan for it, whether its an extra 30 minutes on the treadmill, then you can truly still fit it in the diet. My personal trainer said it best when she said, if you are going to indulge, be sure it's the best you'd ever had. Stop wasting calories on mediocre food. lol.
  • seventwenty
    seventwenty Posts: 565 Member
    After I deprived myself of foods I liked for long periods of time, all I wanted to do was eat what I didn't allow myself to eat. After submitting to all those pent-up cravings, it's been difficult to get back into the swing of things. Now, I try to let myself cheat once a day. Nothing huge, a cookie one day. Some chocolate another. A good beer on the weekends. It's much easier b/c now I think, "Okay. That's your treat. You'll get another one tomorrow!" It gives me something to look forward to during the day.
  • icemaiden17_uk
    icemaiden17_uk Posts: 463 Member
    If anyone has a solution please tell me!! I do this all the time in everything!
  • TriedEverything
    TriedEverything Posts: 188 Member
    Glad to hear you are now feeling a bit more positive - rewarding yourself with the gem stones is a great idea, as that's a special interest of yours :smile:

    Another thing I would say is, never weigh yourself the morning after you've overeaten - some might disagree with me there, but I'd say, if you know you've been a bit "naughty", just try to be extra sensible for the rest of the week, and by the time you weigh yourself there's a chance you will have repaired the damage anyway. I'm not saying this because I think overeating is inevitable, but let's face it, everyone has the odd blip now & again (or a social occasion that makes it hard to stick to your diet).
  • funkycamper
    funkycamper Posts: 998 Member
    I'm sad that you consider a few chocolates a sabotage, a slip-up or a mistake. I regularly have a bit of chocolate or ice cream or other treat. Several times weekly, in fact. I just work them into my calorie allotment and enjoy them guilt-free. Thin/fit/healthy people splurge, too. It's real life and sustainable. And a heckuva lot more fun than deprivation.

    I do agree that if you're going to splurge to make it count. Don't eat crap just to eat it. Eat something you really enjoy slowly and savor it.

    Of course, nothing wrong with finding some non-food rewards, too. Life is all about finding the right balance.

    And unless you ate the equivalent of 35 regular size Hershey chocolate bars (7000 calories), there is no way you gained 2# from eating that chocolate.
  • betterin2012
    betterin2012 Posts: 26
    Just today I put on my message board about how depressed I am for feeling the need to self sabotage....One of my MFP friends sent me this reply:

    Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves.....Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

    May this quote be as helpful to you as it was to me!
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,290 Member
    I think what was disappointing was that I was so fired up after New Years, and raring to go with my weight loss mission, that to suddenly fall off the wagon, yet again, was just annoying!

    But after reading the replies, I am starting to get a non-food reward plan formulated:

    I'm really into collecting gemstones (I'm quite New Agey!), so I've decided that whenever I have a good weight loss, I will treat myself to a gemstone (only £1 - £2 from Amazon, much cheaper than a pizza or glass of vodka and coke!) and then when I hit my target, buy something nice like gemstone jewellery or perfume.

    Love it! I'm quite New Agey myself ;)
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    Went back to work after my Xmas/NY holidays and a few of my colleagues was telling me how much I've lost weight, that I looked amazing and toned, and how my skin has cleared up.

    So what do I do? "Reward" myself with chocolates (didn't help that I had PMT at the time either, and I couldn't go to Zumba due to shift work). Now 2lbs BACK up :cry: Defo back on track now.

    What is wrong with me? Does anyone else have this issue? How do you overcome it?

    Don't use food as a reward. Buy yourself a cute thong. A new workout top. Buy a month long membership to a dance studio or pilates or yoga studio or kick boxing club - something new you've wanted to try.

    Choose rewards that perpetuate your forward movement instead of halting them. Food is for fueling your body - reward yourself in other ways.
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