Eating Disorders

In recovery for Binge Eating Disorder since Feb 2010.

What did you have to go through in order to understand that the ED was harming you?
Are you willing to point the finger at someone who is in the midst of their ED and tell them to get help?
Are you willing to say something to people who congratulate someones diary that is way too low?

Honestly, I knew the ED was harmful (theoretically--most people with disorders be it ED or substance abuse, etc, have a "it could never happen to me" outlook, at least to some extent). I'm a lot older than these folks and grew up in a different. . ."world" of eating disorders, though: as a child/adolescent/young adult with anorexia, it was VERY ALIENATING and LONELY, and these girls now have online communities where they egg each other on and compete (I don't believe they'll make them all anorexic, but they're harmful nonetheless). The only "community" I had was when I was inpatient or in group therapy. Anyway, the only way I've gotten help was, really, when I've just gotten so exhausted from it all, mentally and physically. It's not a sustainable lifestyle. You end up either switching to binging and purging, or you stop.

I don't really believe in "confrontation"-style intervention (ironically, I also have a MA in psychology); however, I do believe in just telling people that I'm there for them if they need me or need help. People can't be forced into treatment or help. It doesn't work. I have had to cut people out of my life with ED before, though, while in treatment because it was too triggering for me.

Regarding the last question, though, I will call those people out, as well as people who give "tips." This mess has really dominated my whole life, and I am not about to tell someone else how they can destroy theirs. I'm in my 30s and don't have gainful employment (despite having a masters degree and a child), have been inpatient 5 times and intensive outpatient other times. I have a lot of health problems. This isn't just a problem for teens: I had 40, 50, 60 year olds in my last group. That REALLY motivated me for recovery.

Once upon a time, I was 72 pounds at 4'11", now I am 95 pounds trying to get to 100-104. That's 16 years in the making.....It's not as easy as someone telling you that you have to eat and you have to throw away the scale.

I had Bulemia for many years. I have tried to become "anorexic" in an attempt to lose weight. It started in middle school because of the teasing. It finally got better 3 years after high school. It still rears its ugly head now and then though. I knew it was bad for me. There was a part of me that felt like even if it did kill me, it was better than living the hell I was in. I didnt care. I would restrict pretty much all week (eat about 200 calories and run 3 miles) and then on Saturday, I would eat whatever I wanted, but throw up after each meal. Sunday, I would just eat. and eat. and eat. Because it was my "free day". It was about control. I could control SOMETHING....... anything. I had to have some teeth removed in the back when I was 19. I had horrible reflux from where the acid had begun to erode my esophagus. I got help. Shortly after I started dating my boyfriend (27 y/o at the time), I explained to him my situation and my cycles. He asks me what I have for breakfast and lunch almost every day. He encourages me to make good choices and doesnt keep my binge triggers around the house. I still fight it. 10 years later, and I still fight the little voice that says "taco bell sounds good, and a lot of it, i can just throw it up later" or "lets see, I have eaten an apple today, so I better keep dinner really light".

I'm trying to recover, but I'm a binge eater. I don't like talking about it because I am actually a healthy weight, but I work out. I feel lousy about myself and I wish I could stop. I hate to admit it but at times I have even thought of purging (I haven't and I wont) but it would make things worse.

Everyday I try to improve, it's a work in progress.

Ive struggled with eating disorders since I was younger. It started out as binge eating and over eating, but my family all did it so I believe that it was a normal thing to do. When I got older my mother would comment to me about how I was fat and needed to lose weight or I would be alone the rest of my life (my mother was overweight and had relationship problems since she started dating). That started my desire to not eat, which I easily did since my family worked and I would just tell them that I had already eaten dinner before they got home. This got harder to do when my grandma started staying at home, so I was forced to eat, which I would promplty purge after going outside to 'feed the dog', I would hide out in the woods and be rid of the food. Going into high school it became easier to not eat because I was always 'doing homework' and ate late at night after everyone else had, that food went to the cats. I would binge and purge because I was so disgusted with my appearance (I was never really skinny because my family was big on eating out as well). I started doing activities in school and because they were school events, I couldnt get to the bathroom or anywhere for that matter without having a buddy around, this made it difficult and many of my friends finally took notice of my eating problems. With their help and support I was able to start eating normal, but that quickly turned back to over eating and binging and having whatever I wanted. I relapsed 3 years ago and purged for the first time when my husband and I found out I had PCOS and were unable to have a baby without any help. After purging I looked at myself and through tears and hatred I promised I would fix this, and stop myself from slowly killing my body. It's difficult, it's not easy, especially knowing the results I used to have as a teen...but Ive made friends who have conquered this problem as well and we talk to each other constantly, especially when we feel like we are losing our grip. I still have a severe relationship with food where, I want it...for no reason, just a desire to taste it and to have it. But I'm working on that...and I'm getting better with it. So if anyone feels a need for support please feel free to add me. I know it's hard, and some days are great others are not...but it is possible to fix whatever you're going through.

Recovering bulimic here. I have not purged in over 10 months and have not binged since joining this site. Like an earlier poster mentioned, I actually gained weight through my ED. This site has really, really helped me develop and understand healthy balanced eating habits. I no longer even feel the need to binge because I know I can have whatever I want within reason and in moderation. Planning out my day ahead of time also helps me not attach emotions to food- emotional eating was a big part of my b/p cycles. I don't decide what I'm going to eat for dinner based on how I feel anymore. I have never struggled with restricting, so that's not a concern for me as far as using the site.

idk if this counts but i had anemia when i gave up meat. i was 16 and i didnt eat the right things so i got sick and rushed to the hospital. my friends and bf of the time got mad at me, took me to McDs and made me eat burgers, they were sweet