All you ever think about is food...!!!

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flamegirl72
flamegirl72 Posts: 143 Member
in Motivation and Support
This is something my bf said to me last week. He is right, it is true. When I am in the throes of my food addiction, all I think about is what I will eat next and how soon that will be...but even as I try to improve my health and eating habits I still have to think about food all the time, the planning and trying to eat more often, tracking calories and macros, making grocery lists etc etc etc.

I see him on weekends only as we are in different cities. I do often ask him in advance what we are doing for dinner or the next night so I can plan the rest of my eating for the day. At least I did before that comment. I can be oversensitive about my weight and his comment hurt my feelings and made me extra self-conscious, so I decided that when I am with him on weekends, I will not talk about food anymore and just let leave the eating in his hands and make the best choices I could whenever we were faced with a meal.

Problem is he NEVER THINKS ABOUT FOOD!!! We ate out on Friday night at his suggestion which was fine. He doesn't eat breakfast so there was no meal on Saturday morning ....decided he wanted to make me a nice dinner last night so I thought, ok....this will be nice. We went out to buy groceries for the event but no mention of lunch. He had to clean his kitchen and such so never started cooking supper until after 8pm. He served me dinner (which was delicious) at 11:30pm. And when he served me, he told me he wasn't hungry, so I ate alone with him watching me. This after neither of us had a bite of food all day!!

My theory of just following his lead is not going to work obviously as I know that is not healthy for me....but wow!!

He hardly ever eats and because I am overweight, I feel really self-conscious eating in front of him if he's not eating as well. He does not have an eating disorder or body image issues...he is a healthy weight. He is not depriving himself or trying to lose weight. He eats when he is hungry. He just doesn't seem to get hungry but once a day and usually late at night.

Anyone else out there have a significant other whose eating patterns are so far off from yours? How do you handle it?

Replies

  • myopus
    myopus Posts: 321 Member
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    My husband is a healthy weight, and has practically no interest in food... completely opposite of myself. I am a big-time emotional eater, but I also just happen to LOVE food. I love eating; I look forward to it. It bothered me for probably about the first 6 months after we started living together, years ago, but after that time I blew it off. Kind of like the old adage: "Just say no... more for me." :drinker:
  • flamegirl72
    flamegirl72 Posts: 143 Member
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    My husband is a healthy weight, and has practically no interest in food... completely opposite of myself. I am a big-time emotional eater, but I also just happen to LOVE food. I love eating; I look forward to it. It bothered me for probably about the first 6 months after we started living together, years ago, but after that time I blew it off. Kind of like the old adage: "Just say no... more for me." :drinker:

    did he ever or does he ever make comments about it that made you self-conscious about it? I think I would be fine with the difference if I was at a healthy weight, but because I am overweight I feel like I am being judged with every bite of food I put in my mouth --- disclaimer....he is not constantly harping or mean about it at all and he isn't judging me outwardly but it is more a feeling I put upon myself because of his own eating habits and because I know he know how I struggle with it.
  • myopus
    myopus Posts: 321 Member
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    More to say on this one... I'm messaging you now :) hang in there...
  • flamegirl72
    flamegirl72 Posts: 143 Member
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    strange...I got a notification on my phone that you sent me a message but when I go to my messages there is nothing there....
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    My husband will often say he isn't hungry but if I prepare something he will eat it anyway. I've decided that I can't eat on his schedule and that I need to eat when it suits me. He knows that if I get hungry I get cranky, so he doesn't usually comment, though he doesn't occasionally say "you eat all the time".

    It's interesting to me to see his attitude to food - he likes good food, he loves to cook, he enjoys new recipes and eating... but he doesn't seem to get particularly hungry and he doesn't snack between meals (rarely) and strangest of all - he doesn't like sweet things. This is actually really good for me because it does make me aware of how I view food (especially sweet things like cakes and biscuits and desserts) as treats or rewards, whereas he just doesn't.

    Anyway, back to your issue - it sounds like you will need to find a happy medium. Don't be embarrassed to eat - it really is quite a normal thing, and it sounds like he is in the minority! Perhaps you could offer to cook for him, otherwise just let him know that eating three meals a day (or whatever suits you) seems to work the best for you and make sure you stock something there than you can snack on - nuts, muesli bars, yoghurt, sandwich etc. Communication is really important in a relationship so this is something you are going to have to work out.
  • JamieDD
    JamieDD Posts: 175 Member
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    I'd say just bring your own healthy food and make it yourself. Let him eat on his schedule and you eat on yours. Remember your doing this to lose weight and get healthy for yourself.

    My husband doesn't need to lose weight and the only meal we do together is dinner...I cook food that works for me and he eats what is put on the table. :wink:
  • flamegirl72
    flamegirl72 Posts: 143 Member
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    Thanks Rubybelle. Your husband sounds a lot like my bf. To a tee. I know I need to eat when I need to eat and not hold him up as an example of what I should be. I need to get over my self-consciousness and do what is right for me. If it really does end up bothering him then I guess that's his problem. I just need a thicker skin.... although that seems counter productive when I am trying to lose weight !! lol - sorry - couldn't resist.
  • flamegirl72
    flamegirl72 Posts: 143 Member
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    I'd say just bring your own healthy food and make it yourself. Let him eat on his schedule and you eat on yours. Remember your doing this to lose weight and get healthy for yourself.

    I was doing this in the past. It was only that off the cuff comment he made about me always thinking of food that got me doubting myself and feeling self-conscious. I need to just get over myself and do the things I know I need to.

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