The work-out buddy dilemma - help!

gimedatnow
gimedatnow Posts: 173 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Sooo, my best friend just found out that she's overweight and is now in a fitness CRAZE to get back in shape. The good news is that we're now workout buddies and I can always count on her to drag me to the gym every other day. The bad news is that I hate the gym and would rather go running outside than meet up with her in the gym. BUT, if she found out that I went to go running without her, she'd see it as a type of mini-betrayal (as in, I'm not helping to keep her motivated, somethingsomethingMoreLogicThatDoesn'tMakeSense).

I tried suggesting that we do cardio separately then meet up for weights and her response was "So, you'd rather go running outside by yourself than here with me?" and then "Ok, let's go running together." (Nevermind the fact that our paces are totally out of sync) How do you suggest that we compromise? I don't want to leave her hanging, but honestly, I just want to run outside. o_o

Replies

  • addisondisease
    addisondisease Posts: 664 Member
    hmm this is a tough one...

    oh i got it!
    tell her she runs too slow for you. That because she is so fat she can't keep up with your pace, and that you don't enjoy her company while running. That is what i would do. Then again all my friends know I'm like this.
  • Tara1090
    Tara1090 Posts: 199 Member
    This is a tough situation, and its great that you're willing to support her, but at the same time you shouldn't have to completely restructure your workouts in order to accommodate her. It is a bit selfish on her part to make you feel bad because you prefer to workout outside. Tell her that on certain days you will go running outside and she can join you if she wants, and maybe you can pick a day or two during the week that you can go workout inside with her.. Everyone has their own workouts that work for them, and if running outside is it for you, than she has to accept that.

    GOOD LUCK!
  • Nopedotjpeg
    Nopedotjpeg Posts: 1,805 Member
    Tell her to stop being a ****ing ***** about it. Then run away because she can't catch you.
  • Kristinemomof3
    Kristinemomof3 Posts: 636 Member
    Sooo, my best friend just found out that she's overweight

    Ok, sorry I just had to laugh a little cause, did she not know this before? It doesn't happen overnight. Good luck finding a middle ground!
  • live4turns
    live4turns Posts: 314 Member
    Sooo, my best friend just found out that she's overweight and is now in a fitness CRAZE to get back in shape. The good news is that we're now workout buddies and I can always count on her to drag me to the gym every other day. The bad news is that I hate the gym and would rather go running outside than meet up with her in the gym. BUT, if she found out that I went to go running without her, she'd see it as a type of mini-betrayal (as in, I'm not helping to keep her motivated, somethingsomethingMoreLogicThatDoesn'tMakeSense).

    I tried suggesting that we do cardio separately then meet up for weights and her response was "So, you'd rather go running outside by yourself than here with me?" and then "Ok, let's go running together." (Nevermind the fact that our paces are totally out of sync) How do you suggest that we compromise? I don't want to leave her hanging, but honestly, I just want to run outside. o_o

    Do your running before you meet up and then when you see her just be like "oh sorry, i got my run in already, meet me when your done." I can't run on a treadmill either. Outdoor running is a much better workout, more invigorating, and liberating. I never get the runner's high when done with a treadmill.

    Edit: didn't see the "mini-betrayal" part. ok then...looks like you'll just have to tell her the truth. and if she can't handle the truth then that is her problem not yours. you gotta do you and it's as simple as that.
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
    She is too insecure to go to the gym by herself. You need to do the workout that is good for you, if she doesn't understand, she will get over it. If you let it go too long, you are going to put more of a strain on your friendship than is already happening.
  • kalepowered
    kalepowered Posts: 76 Member
    Honestly, you're going to just have to tell her you want to continue running outside. You're not alone in your preference, and if she's going to throw a fit and try to guilt trip you when you've already gone out of your way to suggest something you two can do together, she's going to have to get over her selfishness herself. There's no point in not being able to enjoy your workout just because she isn't being a very good friend.
  • mlh5787
    mlh5787 Posts: 1
    Running on a treadmill is hard and being out of sync with your work out buddy is harder.

    I started running with my roommate a few months ago and it was apparent that she was a faster runner than I am. The way we worked it is that we will start out running together but if she feels that she needs to go faster- she does and we will meet up at a pre-determined end point of our run (our house or a coffee shop) and this way we motivate each other to be active but don't hold each other back. I have found that my pace has improved because I want to keep her pace and run with her.

    I run 5ks with friends like this as well and it seems to work out best for everyone involved. Everyone is motivated to finish but does so at their own pace. If your friend can't understand that you are on different ability levels and be willing to make it work for both of you then you may be better off running alone.
  • mfreeby
    mfreeby Posts: 199 Member
    Just go running with her then, put on your ipod, and do your thing and then if you outrun her, maybe SHE won't want to come with you. I've told my friends that I prefer to run alone because a) I like to listen to music, b) I can't talk and run and c) I don't want to worry about someone else's pace. If she still wants to tag along, let her. People don't get offended and if she does, she will get over it.
  • worknitout
    worknitout Posts: 11
    I had the same issue awhile back and i tried to run with a friend of mine outside and she couldn't keep up. I decided to get my run in first and then call her to run at her pace. She didn't run very long or very fast. I pushed her to run faster and longer and she gave up on running outside.
    Or you could try the honest approach and tell her that it isn't going to work because you run at different paces. Tell her she can try to run with you outside if she wants but she has to keep up or get left behind.
  • gimedatnow
    gimedatnow Posts: 173 Member
    LOL -- I LOVE the range of responses here. And while I would also love to just tell her off (hey, my time belongs to me too!!), I think I might take the route of meeting up at a predetermined spot part way through the run. :)

    Or aaaah you all just gave me a stroke of brilliance: maybe I'll just invite a bunch of other people and make it a workout group?! Haha, that way, they can have group gym time (and I get my own personal space) and we can all meet up later. Woohooo. Thanks everyone!
  • live4turns
    live4turns Posts: 314 Member
    LOL -- I LOVE the range of responses here. And while I would also love to just tell her off (hey, my time belongs to me too!!), I think I might take the route of meeting up at a predetermined spot part way through the run. :)

    Or aaaah you all just gave me a stroke of brilliance: maybe I'll just invite a bunch of other people and make it a workout group?! Haha, that way, they can have group gym time (and I get my own personal space) and we can all meet up later. Woohooo. Thanks everyone!

    the group thing sounds like disaster waiting to happen. more potential time wasting. just woman up and tell her. She can't live her life clinging on to you.

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