Do you ever feel like you're just a number?

AmberJslimsAWAY
AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
edited November 9 in Motivation and Support
I feel like most of the people that add me, add me to boost their number of friends. I get no support from them what-so-ever. I'm fairly new here (week 2). Just wondering if this is the norm?

I cleaned out my "friends" today which got me thinking.
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Replies

  • ionlyhavesporx
    ionlyhavesporx Posts: 120
    I have to agree... I generally add people for a couple weeks. If I don't see that they've commented on anything, I delete them.
  • treesha450
    treesha450 Posts: 321 Member
    I try not to take it too personally. I'm not the type who needs constant attention. I'm happy doing my own thing. some of my friends are more "supportive" than others but I'm happy to have all of them.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    This is what I did today, but generally, most of my friends comment on my stuff at some point or another, so it wasn't TOO bad!
  • bugs5697
    bugs5697 Posts: 85
    Agree and double agree.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    I try not to take it too personally. I'm not the type who needs constant attention. I'm happy doing my own thing. some of my friends are more "supportive" than others but I'm happy to have all of them.

    I don't know that it's a "need for constant attention" but when someone adds you because they want to be "support" shouldn't they at least do that?
  • DawnMarieMomofTwo
    DawnMarieMomofTwo Posts: 186 Member
    i enjoy the support, and i enjoy supporting others, some times its just hard to keep track of everyone. there are some days that some of my friends get neglected.. however i do agree i have 1 person in particular that i can think of at the moment, that i ALWAYS support yet ive never gotten any support back. its crazy i feel like it should be a two way street!!
  • NewTeena
    NewTeena Posts: 154 Member
    I agree. It doesnt help that I'm feeling rather invisible today. If you've seen my pic you'll know that's quite an accomplishment.
  • lynne_p
    lynne_p Posts: 173 Member
    I totally agree with you. If I haven't heard from a "friend" in over a month, they are gone.
  • ashtonvv
    ashtonvv Posts: 144
    Ah!! I totally agree with this! I think it's a two way street! You can add me if you'd like, I usally log on once or twice a day :)
  • PeaceLoveVeggies
    PeaceLoveVeggies Posts: 673 Member
    Yup! I get friend requests from people who have like 800+ friends. Um, no? You have enough friends. Support your own before you look for more than you can handle.
  • sassycassy
    sassycassy Posts: 21 Member
    I totally agree with you! I personally think some people just like to be nosey too!
  • brk_1982
    brk_1982 Posts: 125 Member
    I don't add people with the intention of giving or getting support, to be honest. I've added people who tend to have interesting topic posts or are knowledgable and I like to be able to follow all of their posts. Not trying to be cheeky, just giving another perspective. :drinker:
  • Bexx435
    Bexx435 Posts: 83 Member
    I have to agree... I generally add people for a couple weeks. If I don't see that they've commented on anything, I delete them.

    Ditto. If I was looking to have a bunch of friends who aren't really friends I'd be on Facebook right now.
  • Usbornegal
    Usbornegal Posts: 601 Member
    I post on a few of my friend's comments every day, but not each one every day. I add people who have a similar profession, or are close to my weight loss goals, or who have interesting perspectives to see what neat things they are up to, or who are close to my age/stage of life. There's a wide range of reasons to add new friends. I have only unfriended one person. They seemed interesting, but posted on everything and everyone CONSTANTLY so all my other friend's comments got lost.
  • treesha450
    treesha450 Posts: 321 Member
    I try not to take it too personally. I'm not the type who needs constant attention. I'm happy doing my own thing. some of my friends are more "supportive" than others but I'm happy to have all of them.

    I don't know that it's a "need for constant attention" but when someone adds you because they want to be "support" shouldn't they at least do that?

    yes they should.-- otherwise what is the point. ALSO I didn't mean to imply that you need constant attention. after rereading that it kinda sounded that way. sorry
  • Micheller1210
    Micheller1210 Posts: 460 Member
    no not a number i just well feel... "invisible"
  • TracyP111
    TracyP111 Posts: 51
    I've had the same issue. But in all honesty, there's only so many times you can tell someone "Way to go" for being under calories. I usually only look for responses when there's a weight loss or if I make a comment on the friends list. At least that's how I tend to do my posts.
  • Nharley
    Nharley Posts: 201
    I use to feel like a number on someone else's friends list when I was a member here in 2010. In fact I use to think it was my "friends" on MFP to be responsible for boosting me up everyday. Then I got over my temper tantrum, my 30 pound weight gain while I was away, and over my ego. Honestly, I've learned only I can keep my spirits up and my motivation to loose weight going and gain a new life. I have to do these things for my well being, so therefore I decided when I rejoined in November 2011, I would not pay attention who praised my gains as I tried to reach my goal. THOSE comments are wonderful, but they are not the reason I am here. :smile:

    Add me as your friend if you wish; I won't guarantee I'll reply on your every post, but I will be a loyal friend on MFP and will encourage you weekly to do your best.:flowerforyou:
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    SO gad I'm not the only one!! lol
  • EbonyK
    EbonyK Posts: 92
    Yeah I feel the same way. People who have added me hardly give me encouragement or support. I try my best to give support to everyone on my friends list.
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,340 Member
    I guess I am one of the fortunate ones. There are only a few of my friends that I dont talk to that much, and they dont seem to talk to anyone much. Most of my friend list is VERY supportive and talks to me all the time.
  • YouAreTheShit
    YouAreTheShit Posts: 510 Member
    I guess I am one of the fortunate ones. There are only a few of my friends that I dont talk to that much, and they dont seem to talk to anyone much. Most of my friend list is VERY supportive and talks to me all the time.

    How could we NOT talk to you. You have the craziest *kitten* going on all the time... :drinker:
  • crughp
    crughp Posts: 17
    I try to keep a limited number of friends, and try to say something to them to encourage them at least 5 days a week. I do get busy with rl, and sometimes I get quiet for a day or 2, but that makes me try to come back stronger and try to do more on the days I do get in to comment to everyone.

    If you want to add me you can feel free to, but if not I am ok with that too, its up to you!
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,340 Member
    It's cause I am pretty much the poo.
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    Have you put yourself out there? Perhaps your friends on here don't know you that well and that is why they are not "supporting" you. I have found that if I comment on their walls, or status' or send PM's and actually try to get to know them they start doing the same for me.

    I also only add people I feel I have things in common with so we have a base starting point to strike up conversations.
  • MotivationINeed
    MotivationINeed Posts: 48
    I'm fairly new, so building up a friends base, hopefully I can support as many people as possible, and they're helping me in return.

    Please, anyone that wants to add me please feel free, the numbers don't matter to me as I can focus on the people that do actually speak in return
  • CrazyDaisysMommy
    CrazyDaisysMommy Posts: 472
    I don't add people with the intention of giving or getting support, to be honest. I've added people who tend to have interesting topic posts or are knowledgable and I like to be able to follow all of their posts. Not trying to be cheeky, just giving another perspective. :drinker:

    I'm the same way. If I've enjoyed an exchange with someone then I would gladly accept their friend request. And I'll occcasionally comment if something catches my eye, but I don't count on anyone for support per se. I think it's just the comfort of knowing that there are like-minded people who are in the same community. Like friendly neighbors who occasionally wave hello!
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
    I guess I am one of the fortunate ones. There are only a few of my friends that I dont talk to that much, and they dont seem to talk to anyone much. Most of my friend list is VERY supportive and talks to me all the time.

    Thats how I feel too.
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
    If my friends post on their feed, I comment and encourage. If they are silently in the background, I probably don't seek them out. But I try to connect with each person who loses, has a good workout, logs a good day, or makes a personal comment. They do the same for me too :).

    Add me if you like :)
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
    I regularly comment on the folks I'm connected to and am fortunate that most of them comment on my efforts. I figure I'll have to cap the number of friends at some point, dropping inactive folks. The point is to inspire and support.
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