What would you do or say...

lr8812
lr8812 Posts: 111
edited November 9 in Chit-Chat
Hey fellas, quick question here. Let me share a story. I met a girl last year through my mom's job. The girl was an intern and the same age as me. We never actually met, just texted/talked on phone, and chatted through Facebook. We talked a lot, then it dwindled down. She expected me, at the time, to be this guido (did I get that right?) looking guy and have this amazing body. Well, at the time, I was around 200 + pounds, had a really fat face, and a big 'ol tummy to boot. Plus I lost interest in my appearances. Never would get the proper haircut, never care about my face, etc. So basically, I was... a mess.

Now her, she was the usual blonde. She's very pretty and that opinion will never change. Eventually, this happened. In August, when my weight was around 207 pounds, still at an all time high... I said ya know, I'm going to meet her. I arranged for us to meet and well.. this is when disaster struck. She came to a friend's get together. It was me, my friend, and about 10 other people (mix of guys/girls) and I expected her and I to hit it off. Well... she comes in, I'm sitting down. I wave, she says hi... and the WHOLE night, I kid you not... we never even made eye contact. I even text messaged her asking why we weren't talking. She promised at a later time we'd meet again/talk. I said to myself, I think I made a mistake. I'm simply not for her. Disaster soon struck. She actually went outside, at a get together I INVITED HER TO! And she talked it up with the other guys and they all became best buddies. I'll never forget the feeling of just... being pushed to the side and basically spit on. It was terrible.

Fast forward. I never met her again. Never texted. I recently posted my story on Facebook, where she was still my friend. She saw it, and I got a response... saying wow, she was stunned, and that I look amazing NOW! Ok... NOW I do?? What the hell. I'm the same guy I always was, expect yes, I admit it, I look MUCH better now and FEEL much better. I maintain the proper look now. But now, she immediately has messaged me again, saying I look so great.. and how she'd like to be my "Valentine". She flat out asked if I was single.

What do I do? Should I bother with her? Or do I move forward and find a new girl. Hmmm. My friends, help me!
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Replies

  • PeaceLoveVeggies
    PeaceLoveVeggies Posts: 673 Member
    Shallow girls will never change. She's not worth your time.
  • marycmeadows
    marycmeadows Posts: 1,691 Member
    move on to a new girl -- she's a straight up shallow biotch -- don't waste your time!
  • Renee0608
    Renee0608 Posts: 138
    You deserve SOOO much better than her. She's obviously very shallow and vain, and is only now interested now that you meet her standards....Screw that. Find a girl who likes you for you!!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    The first problem I see was that you either intentionally mislead her as to who you were or at the least made no effort to fix her misconception.
    Upon seeing that she was probably disappointed not so much in your appearance but in you.

    You also never said if at this meeting you attempted to become presentable so if not then strike 2.

    Now you have cleaned up and are showing some respect for yourself so maybe she is looking for the guy she THOUGHT she knew.
    Perhaps she will turn out to not be worth it but before going any farther look in a mirror at your own actions and face them with her.
    She is owed a bit of an apology imo.
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
    I don't know how to respond. Half of me says that you shouldn't even bother with her. The other half says you should.. but it's only to take her out to a get-together, avoid any eye-contact with her the entire evening, and then go and chat up some other chicks while she sits and watches. I'm pretty wishy-washy when it comes to forgiving and forgetting. How much do you dig her?
  • Merc71
    Merc71 Posts: 412 Member
    Shallow girls will never change. She's not worth your time.

    Pretty much this.
  • cloudfightback
    cloudfightback Posts: 9
    Honestly, don't do it.
    If she treated you like **** before, and now that you're looking fit, she wants you, well she lost out therefore she didn't deserve another chance. There's someone out there, perfect for you. =)
  • ClaSSiE86
    ClaSSiE86 Posts: 72 Member
    If she couldn't appreciate you then ~ she definitely doesn't deserve you now! Just my opinion :)


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  • Myndi73
    Myndi73 Posts: 270
    Shallow girls will never change. She's not worth your time.

    Pretty much this.

    Agreed
  • deluda
    deluda Posts: 146 Member
    Forget about her. It's what's inside that counts and apparently she is a very shallow person. The right one will come along when the time is right. When that happens you will know it.
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,014 Member
    I have to chime in that I agree...she didn't even give you the time of day then to get to know YOU...let her find someone else and go find someone that will appreciate you!
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Oh noes! Not a typical blonde!

    You misled her on your appearance.
    She was rude to try and pick up other dudes when she was supposed to be out with you.

    You're even.

    I don't understand the shock that someone is more attractive to another person when they're not overweight. It's a given. I'm not offended no one wanted me when I was a fatty.

    If you enjoyed her personality before that, I don't see the harm in talking it out and letting her apologize if she's going to. Maybe she's grown up a little, who knows?
  • frazzle29
    frazzle29 Posts: 122 Member
    She's way too shallow for you. Someone better will come along!
  • nicolekz
    nicolekz Posts: 10
    Forget about her. Character is far more important than her cute looks or even some positive personality traits you may have experienced during your pre-meeting chats. Spending excessive time with other guys at a function you invited her to does not reflect well on her character/integrity. You will always be fighting for her attention. There are lots of women out there, even when you feel like you are in a dry spell. I wish you luck!
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
    Move on!! It's true that everyone's attracted/not attracted by different features, so I can understand if your size put her off. I don't take offence if guys aren't attracted to me because I'm overweight. Some people care some people don't. However, the fact of the matter is that the way she acted was beyond rude. If I was meeting up with someone and had high expectations, even if I was completely disappointed, I'd still make polite conversation. So maybe you weren't her type, but she wasn't even willing to try hanging out with you. Completely and utterly rude!
  • Captain_Mal
    Captain_Mal Posts: 945 Member
    If I were you, I'd take her out to a bar or something and then mingle, ending up chatting up some hotter than her girls. Maybe even leave with one of them too. :smile:
  • lr8812
    lr8812 Posts: 111
    To anyone who may be saying I "mis-lead" her on my appearances, I never did! I told her straight out, I'm a big guy, I don't do weights, and I even said we may be opposites!
  • Granny1227
    Granny1227 Posts: 136
    I agree - MOVE ON!!!
  • eolivero
    eolivero Posts: 37
    You're young, single and fit. Hit it and forget it!
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    To anyone who may be saying I "mis-lead" her on my appearances, I never did! I told her straight out, I'm a big guy, I don't do weights, and I even said we may be opposites!

    Your original post states you never met face-to-face and she expected you to look like a guido. We kinda put the two together. Sorry.
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
    So the problem is a girl you wanted to get with in the past blew you off. Now she's all over your stuff.......well what's the Damn problem? You should give her what she wants and get out!
  • fieldsbean
    fieldsbean Posts: 35
    Im a female..and she is the kind of girl who bullied and made fun of the nerds and fatties in school.( i was the nerd)

    she should have been interested in a conversation..getting to know you..instead her FIRST instinct.. was to think " i CANNOT be seen around this fat *kitten*." (that is what she was thinking..)

    so, you have worked hard..and that is awesome..but the girl of your heart will love you for you, not your waistline. FInd a hotty and then show up at a party where she is..give her that look..you know the one.. "YA SNOOZE..YA LOSE."

    life is short..don't waste it.
  • lr8812
    lr8812 Posts: 111
    To anyone who may be saying I "mis-lead" her on my appearances, I never did! I told her straight out, I'm a big guy, I don't do weights, and I even said we may be opposites!

    Your original post states you never met face-to-face and she expected you to look like a guido. We kinda put the two together. Sorry.

    'Tis no problem, that'd be my bad!
  • 2hungariangirls
    2hungariangirls Posts: 220
    Shallow girls will never change. She's not worth your time.

    Pretty much this.

    Agreed

    ^^^^^^^^Totally this^^^^^^^^^^^^
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    To anyone who may be saying I "mis-lead" her on my appearances, I never did! I told her straight out, I'm a big guy, I don't do weights, and I even said we may be opposites!

    I was just going by this statement..." She expected me, at the time, to be this guido (did I get that right?) looking guy and have this amazing body" in your post.
    Not sure how those statements correlate but best of luck to you with whatever you choose to do.
  • Sabresgal63
    Sabresgal63 Posts: 641 Member
    Sorry, not a guy...............but run from that superficial B....tch!!!!!!! Find someone that likes you for you..........
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
    The thing is, I can understand her just simply not feeling the physical attraction. But the fact she couldn't even talk to you for ONE NIGHT means she is really is just shallow. If she were at least friendly when you had invited her to meet, then I could see giving her a chance. You deserve someone who is NICE, and she is not.
  • vjrose
    vjrose Posts: 809 Member
    I think you are in a space now you need to find a girl that cares for you, not what your bod looks like, you're still the same guy inside so look for a girl that likes that guy.
  • Cindy_Fit4Life
    Cindy_Fit4Life Posts: 147 Member
    You sound like a really good guy, don't bother with her, she's obviously no good! You deserve better!
  • GlenWalterGal
    GlenWalterGal Posts: 85 Member
    What would happen if, through some really unfortunate chain of events, you lose your looks and maybe put some weight back on....Do you think she would stick by you?
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